Girlfriend is nervous

[celery5]

First post on here so sorry if i get anything wrong lol

Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for about 5 months now. We have both agreed we love each other dearly and we know it. The thing is we haven't told her parents we are in a relationship. Anyway things are all going fine, we are talking normally etc, but the other day we decide that she should tell her parents about us, so she types an email to them saying how we like each other, that im not a creep and the usual stuff basically. However her parents didnt take it so well. Apparently she was told the love wasnt real. I believe this was because they are being very protective ( they are a very close knit family) and because they dont know me since we do not live so close.

Now this is when the problems are starting to emerge. Initially from the shock she was about to stop talking to me. This isnt the case now and she has agreed to keep talking to me.

However, her replies to me are extremely rare in a day. We call every night but she hardly speaks. I manged to get from her this lack of talking and messaging is because she is scared we can never be together ( she told me this). I told her that we should try and act normal for a while and try and forget her parents disapproval but since she is a very sensitive girl she still has difficulty talking as she is still scared.

I told her we basically have been in love in secret until now so we should continue doing so until her parents will change their minds, no matter how long this takes.

 

I love this girl and ive known for a while she could be the one. What do i do in this situation

( im turning 22 and shes 19 if it helps)

Thank you

[ThatwasThen]

Is she of a culture where her parents will want to choose a groom for her?

[celery5]

No lol. Shes american

[amine boudhraa]

so maybe you should chosse to be patient they will accecpt it sonner or later just be nice to her let her know you want to be with her no matter what and well put yourself into her parents place they probebly still think of her as their litte girl and she still young for these things but dont worry they come arouns sonner or later

[ThatwasThen]

No lol. Shes american

 

Then I suggest you talk to this girl and come up with a strategy where her parents could actually meet you. They don't know you and of course they are going to try and discourage their daughter from investing in some guy that she mainly talks on the internet/texting/phone but never actually goes out with. Maybe if you pass the parent inspection test they will change their minds about this being a superficial love. It IS ONLY superficial if your relationship is mostly conducted online or through other electronic means.

[Wiseman2]

Why don't they approve of her dating or you? Have you ever met in person?

we decide that she should tell her parents about us, so she types an email to them saying how we like each other, that im not a creep and the usual stuff basically. they dont know me since we do not live so close

[celery5]

Why don't they approve of her dating or you? Have you ever met in person?

 

We have not

[melancholy123]

Have you met this girl in person? If you haven't and her folks know that, then there's a big part of your problem. Parents are normally protective of their kids, especially daughters, so they are not being weird about this. Everyone needs to meet everyone before too long so they can see you are a good guy, assuming that you are.

[ThatwasThen]

Geeze, if you've never met then her parents are right.. your feelings of "love" are not real but rather based on words without actions to back them up as truths.

 

Meet the girl and if you can't then I suspect that her lack of enthusiasm lately is her acknowledging that her parents have a point.

 

How did you start talking to her? On what app or site did you begin this fantasy relationship?

[celery5]

Have you met this girl in person? If you haven't and her folks know that, then there's a big part of your problem. Parents are normally protective of their kids, especially daughters, so they are not being weird about this. Everyone needs to meet everyone before too long so they can see you are a good guy, assuming that you are.

 

Weve met a few times, but thats hard right now becuase of my parents work reasons, we have moved back to the UK

[Wiseman2]

Her parents are concerned that she is 'in love' in an online relationship with someone she's never met. Why are you having an online relationship so far away, no local girls? Did you meet or not?

Apparently she was told the love wasnt real. I told her we basically have been in love in secret until now so we should continue doing so until her parents will change their minds, no matter how long this takes. I love this girl and ive known for a while she could be the one.

[ThatwasThen]

Weve met a few times, but thats hard right now becuase of my parents work reasons, we have moved back to the UK

 

Okay, so what is it? You have previously told us that you have not met her and now you're saying you've met a few times?

[musicman777]

OP, I've heard this kind of crap time and time again. At the end of the day, if you are two are adults (which you are), no one else should have any kind of say/input on your relationship. If that person makes you happy, that is all that matters.

 

If this girl really "loves" you and you make her happy, she should date you regardless of what her parents say, because she is a grown woman and she should be able to make her own choices. If she is truly happy and you are what is best for her, I'm sure they will come around. But if she lets them influence her like this to the point she isn't talking to you, I would dump her like a bag of potatoes. You don't need this crap and you shouldn't date someone not strong enough to stand up to their own parents.