jcgirl2007 Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 So I met this guy online 2 or 3 weeks ago. We met up after 3 days of chatting/texting/phone calls and really hit it off. He asked me out again and brought me a single rose that night, and we had our first kiss on the 2nd date. On the third date he invited me to his place after dinner, and we had a heavy makeout session. The next day, he called and told me he was afraid it was moving too fast, and that we should do other fun things together like going to museums, etc. To keep it from getting that physical so soon. He also told me he fears he has commitment issues because of his parents' divorce when he was a child.. He said he was open to working through it, but needs to move slow as it has been 3 years since his last relationship. I backed off quite a bit after that conversation, and I believe he got nervous that I thought he wasn't interested. He asked me out again last night, and things went great..he also asked me out again tonight after work, but I was busy. He makes sure he calls me every night between dates..I don't think he is seeing anyone else because of this. However, here's the catch...we haven't had an exclusivity talk, but he logs into his dating account still. Sometimes right after a date...but today not at all. It has generally been several times a day though. I am seeing this through a blank account, by the way. I've been burned badly by that before. What do you guys think? He seems so in to me on our dates, texts me throughout his work day, calls every night in between dates..but I feel like because of his dating profile he isn't taking me seriously. I still haven't slept with him, either. Any insight on this? I don't know whether to keep going with this, and I am not going to call him out on it since we haven't had the exclusive talk yet...I am definitely not going to be the one to bring that up either, since he believes he may have commitment issues. Link to comment
limichelle Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Hi, My best advice is to not sleep with him. The red flag is getting into a relationship with a commitment phobe. Those relationships won't go anywhere, especially if you want to move forward. I think he's on the dating site talking to other girls because of his non ability to commit to one person. To save yourself heart ache, keep him as a friend and find someone who will want to make plans with you. Lisa Link to comment
SherrySher Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 You know the answer. It doesn't matter if he calls you or texts you or asks for dates, if he was that into you, he wouldn't still be curious as to what is on the dating sites...correct? I know we as people sometimes really want to believe that they are into us...so we make excuses for their behavior.."well he might have commitment issues"..."we didn't talk about exclusively dating"...the truth is, if he really liked you and was thinking in terms of dating you exclusively..he wouldn't still be logging in there. You did the smart thing..you made a blank account so you could see how serious he was about you...and you've found out. In order to spare yourself from more hurt, you really should cut your losses and seek elsewhere for love now. It is still very early on and not much has happened between you two yet. It hurts, but yes, you knew the answer as soon as you seen him still on the dating site. Link to comment
Heather Dawn Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 If a guy tells you on the first or second date that he had commitment issues, run. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 You just described the poster child for RUN for the hills from that and make sure he doesn't follow. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 I would give him twice the space he seems to need. See him once a week for now, don't have sex and keep looking to date others. Link to comment
lucidious Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Keep your options open. Don't do anymore dates at his place and don't sleep with him unless you guys are exclusive gf/bf. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 It sounds like he is multidating. What do you mean 'burned before", what is your concern in this situation? He also told me he fears he has commitment issues. he logs into his dating account still.I am seeing this through a blank account, by the way. I've been burned badly by that before. Link to comment
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