My Husband is Suddenly a Body Builder...

[AnotherSAHM]

... and now he's too good for our family. We've been together 12 years and have 2 small children and a 3rd on the way. A year ago he, out of the blue as someone who has never set foot in a gym, built a home gym and started body building. I have always been health/weight conscious, I run and lift and watch what I eat, but no where near the 100% discipline he has applied in the last year. He looks great, but he never stops thinking about it or looking in the mirror.

 

It has sparked a sexual interest that wasn't there before, too. Recently we had a threesome with another woman, which I have always enjoyed in the past, but this time I woke up to find the 2 of them going solo, something I would never have imagined him doing as his pre-hot bod self. I was pretty hurt, but worked hard to move past it.

 

Since then he seems a lot more interested in other women and his ability to find their interest reciprocated.

 

He also works from home. Most days I spend the day taking care of the children and housework while he lifts and works. I often ask him for help, to which he responds 'I could have an office job, I could be gone all day.' when I told him so could I, he said 'go ahead'. Knowing full well I'd never make enough to justify leaving the house.

 

I am a self-made photographer with a reasonably successful portrait business, but as it is not full time income, he sees it as negligible and not any particular contribution.

 

Moral of the story is I don't feel valued, appreciated or loved. He doesn't need me, all of a sudden he's too good for me. What should I do? We talk about it often, but the only thing he really cares about right now is his physique. It's hard to get any sort of honesty from him. He wants to work at his desk, work out, and for us to stay 'fine' and away. He'll say whatever he thinks he needs to to keep that up. I don't know what to do.

[1a1a]

It seems like the most flippant response which is why I didn't post it the first time I read this, hoping some other people will have much better advice, but this remains forever an ace up your sleeve. You can leave. And if right now it feels like you can't because of financial dependence, start by putting out feelers to your friends and family and getting a feel for who might be on team you. Can someone spare a couch, could you afford to share house? Are there people who can babysit?

 

There's so much horrible in this one post I don't think I could pin point anyone reason why but the threesome thing and rubbing it in your face that you're not his favourite person, I think that alone could and should be enough to fuel a decision like leaving. Good luck to you op, you deserve so much more than you currently have!!!!

[Wiseman2]

Do you think it's midlife crisis or not wanting to have a dadbod? Or that the kids/pregnancy are affecting him/sex?

Recently we had a threesome with another woman, which I have always enjoyed in the past, but this time I woke up to find the 2 of them going solo, something I would never have imagined him doing as his pre-hot bod self. I was pretty hurt, but worked hard to move past it.

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