When someone is late showing up for a date...

[Batya33]

To me being on time is within 5 minutes (maybe even closer to 10 given traffic/travel conditions that you both know about) unless for some reason time is of the essence. Even restaurants hold reservations for longer than 5 minutes. Yes, if I am 5 minutes late I apologize because I sincerely hate to have anyone waiting but typically that person has not been waiting the entire 5 minutes and yes I fully expect my apology to be accepted with "no worries!". I am usually early so I'm not writing this because I am typically late.

 

My husband used to be chronically late (far more than 5 minutes) and he changed his ways. On our first platonic dinner date he was about 10 minutes late (I had no cell phone) because he went to the wrong restaurant with the same name. He was all sweaty and apologetic and I thought it was cute and completely understandable.

 

I do think it's absurd to fault someone to that extent for being 5 minutes late especially since he apologized.

[milly007]

To me being on time is within 5 minutes (maybe even closer to 10 given traffic/travel conditions that you both know about) unless for some reason time is of the essence. Even restaurants hold reservations for longer than 5 minutes. Yes, if I am 5 minutes late I apologize because I sincerely hate to have anyone waiting but typically that person has not been waiting the entire 5 minutes and yes I fully expect my apology to be accepted with "no worries!". I am usually early so I'm not writing this because I am typically late.

 

My husband used to be chronically late (far more than 5 minutes) and he changed his ways. On our first platonic dinner date he was about 10 minutes late (I had no cell phone) because he went to the wrong restaurant with the same name. He was all sweaty and apologetic and I thought it was cute and completely understandable.

 

I do think it's absurd to fault someone to that extent for being 5 minutes late especially since he apologized.

 

Maybe I'm missing something, but I'm not sure how I "faulted him"?

 

He apologized and we moved on with our night. He joked about a five minute rule after apologizing.

 

I didn't fault anyone. We can't help when our feelings change towards someone.

[Heather Dawn]

Maybe I'm missing something, but I'm not sure how I "faulted him"?

 

He apologized and we moved on with our night. He joked about a five minute rule after apologizing.

 

I didn't fault anyone. We can't help when our feelings change towards someone.

 

If you didn't fault him, why does this thread even exist?!

[milly007]

If you didn't fault him, why does this thread even exist?!

 

I posted this thread to find out whether or not my initial feelings when he showed up late were fair or unfair.

 

If I was faulting him, I wouldn't be questioning what happened. I would be saying that he's in the wrong.

 

That said, I'm asking for constructive feedback.

[Wiseman2]

Did you ever hear from him again?

He joked about a five minute rule after apologizing

[James516]

If he contacts you again, I think you should be direct and let him know that you were unhappy that he was 5 minutes late and you tried to not let it ruin your evening or lose interest. Exact time is important to you, no problem. But to others, such a narrow time frame potentially causing the losing of interest would appear as controlling. He may or may not see it that way, but you should key him in to make that choice. If anyone told me that 5 minutes bothered them, I would know never to go out with them again because I would see it as a sign that they are very likely rigid in a lot of other ways.

[kamurj]

Thread closed by user request.