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A reason for the chance encounter

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We were together for 6 years and he proposed.A part of me would have liked to accept his proposal but I could not as he was a junkie.


I broke up with him instead.


When he called to plead, I told him never to wait for me because I would never be going back, ever. When he hung up on me, I heard my heart breaking into a million pieces.


It was never the same after, I stayed single since then, with him at the back of my mind.


We were in our early twenties then and I thought that I could stay out of his world altogether and he would pick up and pieces and eventually get his life together. There was still time.


13 years passed.


I called for an Uber, rushing back to office at an ungodly hour. The driver asked if I still remembered him. It was then that I realised that it was him. We had a long conversation as he took a circuitous route to my office. It then struck me that his speech was slurred which was never the case previously and reactions and responses, unusually less-responsive than normal individuals.He grew increasingly annoyed when I kept pestering him about the reason for his speech.


I had a bad feeling in my gut that the years of drug abuse finally took its toll on him. He looked like a shadow of his former self. It was like he took 13 years to slowly disintegrate to this stage.


It was gut-wrenching to see that he is drifting and in such a bad place now. It feels like he is irreparably damaged and I am devastated and unsure how much of this was my doing.


Perhaps I just need another perspective to the objective of this chance encounter to allow me to see some meaning to this other than the grief I feel now.

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Yes it's very sad and heartbreaking but also I think a very good reminder to you why you ended that relationship. You'd still been thinking about him all those years thinking that maybe you'd made a mistake and he was an improved person now. But you didn't make a mistake, as he didn't improve, but only got so much worse over the years. I think now you can really move on and look for someone who's willing to pull themselves together.

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