My chicken is dead

[Nicoolest]

My fiance and I have been together for 2 and half years. We have backyard chickens. I have been asking him for weeks to finish the run so predators don't eat the chickens. He promised me it would be done last week. Of course it's not done and one got killed today. I know it's just a stupid chicken but they really mean a lot to my daughter and she is going through so much right now. I am so pissed right now... I can't stand how these promises mean nothing. There is always an excuse. Someone walk me off the ledge... I am literally crying over a chicken

[mustlovedogs]

Why didn't you build the chicken run? Why did you get chickens before you could take care of them?

 

I'm saying this because you aren't faultless.

 

Get your fiancé to talk with you to your daughter about death. Loop in some conversation about responsibility. And, if work is really important in the future and he isn't doing it, figure out other options.

 

If he routinely lets you down, reevaluate the relationship.

[Nicoolest]

Why didn't you build the chicken run? Why did you get chickens before you could take care of them?

 

I'm saying this because you aren't faultless.

 

Get your fiancé to talk with you to your daughter about death. Loop in some conversation about responsibility. And, if work is really important in the future and he isn't doing it, figure out other options.

 

If he routinely lets you down, reevaluate the relationship.

I didn't get the chickens, he did.. But point made I should have asked someone else to do it. I didn't want to embarrass him. He's actually working on it now at 10pm at night. I think I'm really sad for the daughter... Her stepmom is dying of cancer and she is struggling with coming out. She just doesn't need this right now.

[Mari]

My fiance and I have been together for 2 and half years. We have backyard chickens. I have been asking him for weeks to finish the run so predators don't eat the chickens. He promised me it would be done last week. Of course it's not done and one got killed today. I know it's just a stupid chicken but they really mean a lot to my daughter and she is going through so much right now. I am so pissed right now... I can't stand how these promises mean nothing. There is always an excuse. Someone walk me off the ledge... I am literally crying over a chicken

 

It's just priorities, pencil in a time when he agrees to work on it. When that hour comes ask him to work on it if he forgets.

[1a1a]

Could be a little that you are regretting not pushing him because of the sad consequences. I once had a friend who bought pet rats once she moved out of home. When I visited her she had them in a tiny cage outside on the step. With hindsight I should have taken them, rats are not outdoors creatures. But at the time I thought it was more important to give her her autonomy and freedom to self determination. The next hot day the rats died from exposure.

 

It's hard to know when you should step in and intervene. Judging by the fact he's out there at 10PM, I'd say he definitely regrets not finishing it sooner, perhaps like myself he is a chronic procrastinator. Perhaps he has other good attributes that make up for that. I think next time, you will know to take the initiative.

[j.man]

Why get your kid attached to a chicken? You're gonna have to slaughter it after a few years unless you plan on feeding it without a return for like 5 years.

 

In any case, there are cheap and efficient prefabs you can get in the meantime if he's busy or dying for free time. Or buy the panels and drive to home depot and pay someone in the parking lot $50 to put it together.

 

Are you both working?

[Nicoolest]

Why get your kid attached to a chicken? You're gonna have to slaughter it after a few years unless you plan on feeding it without a return for like 5 years.

 

In any case, there are cheap and efficient prefabs you can get in the meantime if he's busy or dying for free time. Or buy the panels and drive to home depot and pay someone in the parking lot $50 to put it together.

 

Are you both working?

Do you have kids? They get attached to stuff.. Yes we both work and no one hangs out in front of home Depot in my state lol.

Could be a little that you are regretting not pushing him because of the sad consequences. I once had a friend who bought pet rats once she moved out of home. When I visited her she had them in a tiny cage outside on the step. With hindsight I should have taken them, rats are not outdoors creatures. But at the time I thought it was more important to give her her autonomy and freedom to self determination. The next hot day the rats died from exposure.

 

It's hard to know when you should step in and intervene. Judging by the fact he's out there at 10PM, I'd say he definitely regrets not finishing it sooner, perhaps like myself he is a chronic procrastinator. Perhaps he has other good attributes that make up for that. I think next time, you will know to take the initiative.

[shellyf62]

My ex husband was similar. Always put things off, and even told lies to cover not doing things.

I live in Australia, and we have red back spiders that live in garages, outdoor furniture, mail boxes...you get the drift.

They arent poisonous, but can make you very sick if they bite you.

We were having friends over for a bbq on a Sat night & family over on Sunday for one of our children's birthdays. I asked him to clean the outdoor furniture. I was busy inside cooking & cleaning, so didnt see him do it. He told me he had done it.

We had a lovely outside bbq that night, all sitting on the furniture.

Next day we were moving the outdoor furniture inside to have my family lunch as we needed extra tables & chairs. I turned a chair over to carry it, and found redbacks & webs. I freaked out. He hadnt cleaned anything. I counted 30 large & small redbacks.

 

So, my friends & family were very lucky that none of us where bitten, and I never asked him to do anything like that again.

[j.man]

Do you have kids? They get attached to stuff.. Yes we both work and no one hangs out in front of home Depot in my state lol.

I understand that. What I'm not understanding is if you're afraid of your daughter getting attached and hurt, why have livestock as pets? More a curiosity than critique, I suppose.

 

Don't know what neck of the woods you're in, but I'd definitely take matters into your own hands if he's gonna procrastinate. Predators entering your lawn are a danger to more than just the chickens.

 

Is there a time you've both got off to knock it out? I'm assuming you've already got a coop. Shouldn't take long for two people to set up a run for two chickens.

 

I am sorry this happened. He should have had a coop and run set up ahead of time if this was his idea.

[ParisPaulette]

I have chickens, so first let me give you my condolences. They are not "just chickens" when you get attached and form a bond. And kids, yes they do that. So do some adults too. Most people don't get it, but chickens actually have their own personalities and affections regardless.

 

Your daughter got attached, anyone who has a farm or any sort of animals regardless if they're "pets" or not can. Keep in mind anything that brings you joy has the power to also cause pain with its loss, so both you and your daughter are grieving and that's normal. Totally normal.

 

It sounds like your fiancee is trying to make amends, so don't be too harsh on him. This sort of thing is usually what it takes to learn how to protect animals that can't so easily protect themselves. I lost half of my first clutch of chickens to owls, then two cats as well before I built meshed runs for the cats and the chickens too. I was a terrible chicken and cat mom, living out in the country with no clue how many predators saw them as tasty snacks instead of lovely little souls to run and greet me every morning. So don't be too harsh on your fiancee, because unless one has lived on a farm or a ranch or in a more rural area it's all too easy to think, "I'll finish that barn/fence/coop tomorrow."

 

Treat this as a learning experience. If need be you are not out of line to do some sort of memorial for the chicken. Let your fiancee build the coop, comfort your daughter. And move forward.

 

Again, my condolences. Cry and comfort your daughter, then go and talk to your fiancee and together figure out how to keep everyone in the family, even the ones who can't talk, safe.

[Nicoolest]

I understand that. What I'm not understanding is if you're afraid of your daughter getting attached and hurt, why have livestock as pets? More a curiosity than critique, I suppose.

 

Don't know what neck of the woods you're in, but I'd definitely take matters into your own hands if he's gonna procrastinate. Predators entering your lawn are a danger to more than just the chickens.

 

Is there a time you've both got off to knock it out? I'm assuming you've already got a coop. Shouldn't take long for two people to set up a run for two chickens.

 

I am sorry this happened. He should have had a coop and run set up ahead of time if this was his idea.

Agreed we should have gotten it done sooner. I am pissed at myself for letting it take this long. As far as the livestock attachment.. Who would have guessed. She is an introvert and a bit of a wonderful odd duck 🙂 and likes spending time with them. Nonjudgemental and easy to handle I suppose. Lesson learned I suppose. I think I need a hug and a little less stress.

[Nicoolest]

Oh and it was a neighbors dog who got the chicken

[Nicoolest]

I have chickens, so first let me give you my condolences. They are not "just chickens" when you get attached and form a bond. And kids, yes they do that. So do some adults too. Most people don't get it, but chickens actually have their own personalities and affections regardless.

 

Your daughter got attached, anyone who has a farm or any sort of animals regardless if they're "pets" or not can. Keep in mind anything that brings you joy has the power to also cause pain with its loss, so both you and your daughter are grieving and that's normal. Totally normal.

 

It sounds like your fiancee is trying to make amends, so don't be too harsh on him. This sort of thing is usually what it takes to learn how to protect animals that can't so easily protect themselves. I lost half of my first clutch of chickens to owls, then two cats as well before I built meshed runs for the cats and the chickens too. I was a terrible chicken and cat mom, living out in the country with no clue how many predators saw them as tasty snacks instead of lovely little souls to run and greet me every morning. So don't be too harsh on your fiancee, because unless one has lived on a farm or a ranch or in a more rural area it's all too easy to think, "I'll finish that barn/fence/coop tomorrow."

 

Treat this as a learning experience. If need be you are not out of line to do some sort of memorial for the chicken. Let your fiancee build the coop, comfort your daughter. And move forward.

 

Again, my condolences. Cry and comfort your daughter, then go and talk to your fiancee and together figure out how to keep everyone in the family, even the ones who can't talk, safe.

Thanks. This made me cry but I feel better. Hope I can do the same for the girl.

[RainyCoast]

gosh seeing the title i though that troll was back. i'm sorry for your bird! yeah, by the sounds of it, lesson learned, i doubt he'll postpone that kind of thing again.

 

I can't stand how these promises mean nothing. There is always an excuse.

sounds like the hen was the last straw, what important things do you feel he's not attending to? do you think he's just a careless procrastinator or that he doesn't care about things that are important to you?

[nutbrownhare]

Yep, if he's out there at 10.00pm he's trying to make amends.

 

People who don't get attached to critters are never going to understand people who do. I've never had chickens, but a friend of mine has kept them for years and grieves deeply whenever one of them dies. And no, they aren't slaughtered, but are kept for eggs.

 

If I were you, I'd let this one go and thank him for his efforts (even if they are belated). He's probably feeling as guilty as hell. Let him. He'll likely be much more conscientious in the future.

 

P.S. (((HUGS)))

 

P.P.S. When I had to have my hamster put to sleep, I was in such a state that my colleagues offered to take my more stressful tasks off me. I was 46 at the time.

[musicman777]

Just when you thought you've seen every kind of post on here, now people are getting sad over chickens....

 

]

 

FYI - my family raised chickens for literally the past 100 years until 20~ years ago when it became illegal to own chickens in my state, my dad then gave all his chickens away. I agree with Paris, but I also gotta say chickens are NOT pets. Other animals hunt them like wild vultures which you have now come to realize.

[Heather Dawn]

As a HUUUUUUUGE animal lover, I totally get it. I'd be crying, too.

[Nicoolest]

Just when you thought you've seen every kind of post on here, now people are getting sad over chickens....

 

]

 

FYI - my family raised chickens for literally the past 100 years until 20~ years ago when it became illegal to own chickens in my state, my dad then gave all his chickens away. I agree with Paris, but I also gotta say chickens are NOT pets. Other animals hunt them like wild vultures which you have now come to realize.

For the record only the girls are crying. The boys cod care less

[ParisPaulette]

For the record only the girls are crying. The boys cod care less

 

Ah, but just wait until that one special chicken or rooster comes strutting into your life, boys. It'll change you. Sorry, just me trying to lighten the mood.

 

Mine are primarily for eggs, but my guinea fowl also eat bugs--especially widows and recluses (yay) and act as watchdogs too. You think geese kick up a fuss? They got nothing on a pack of guinea hens shreiking at you, "The owls/hawks/coyotes/wild dogs are baaaack!"

 

I buy more rock salt than the Winchesters keeping my little ranch defended from predators.

 

Anyways OP, I hope you and your family all get to feeling better. It'll sting, but the fact that you all care about your animals is a good sign. Tell the neighbor to keep the dog off your property from now or you'll call animal control. Now that it's killed one chicken it will try and come back for others, because -- and mind you I have dogs, I am a massive dog fan -- but once they taste blood they tend to revert back to the wolf and they will kill again.

 

This is just a tip from someone who grew up on ranches and farms her whole life. Make sure the coop is dog proof and get legal involved if the neighbors won't control the dog.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened. Hope this cheers you up.

 

[video=youtube;eOL2q8leiLw] ]

[Nicoolest]

Sorry this happened. Hope this cheers you up.

 

[video=youtube;eOL2q8leiLw] ]

I need a new duck

[Nicoolest]

I'm proud to say the fiance worked hard and the run is darn near done! ]