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BPD girl?


keepItReal223

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ALL exs and partners in difficult relationships are personality disordered, everybody knows that!

 

on a more serious note, if the relationship is causing you distress, you might profit more from describing the actual concern so that we can think about your available choices together.

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Im just remembering a ex in the past that gave me hell. It was always hot and cold i never knew what to expect and of course the sex was great. I eventually gave up on it but some reason she popped in my mind today and i been searching info about bpd and i read that it is highly possible to have a stable rship with them its just certain things you have to do differently so it gave advice. I was thinking about reaching out to open the door idk.

 

She was never diagnosed but the symptoms were on point.

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ah, getting back together. honestly dude, it ain't worth it most of time. have you been in touch, is there indication that what was causing problems back then has changed? if it's just you thinking it could be good this time around simply by you learning how to handle her...then that's a really bad idea imo.

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If someone is suspected to have a disability, they need to consult with a therapist and get tested. Never, ever self diagnose yourself or another person. Leave that to a professional who is trained and has better resources on hand to work through the disability.

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If someone is suspected to have a disability, they need to consult with a therapist and get tested. Never, ever self diagnose yourself or another person. Leave that to a professional who is trained and has better resources on hand to work through the disability.

 

Well she use to take these mysterious pills i never asked her about. She had very bad anxiety too she would freak out and black out and just cry and cry

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So a third one in the mix? Why go with something this problematic?

Well she use to take these mysterious pills i never asked her about. She had very bad anxiety too she would freak out and black out and just cry and cry
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If someone is suspected to have a disability, they need to consult with a therapist and get tested. Never, ever self diagnose yourself or another person. Leave that to a professional who is trained and has better resources on hand to work through the disability.

 

Amen sister. This.

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ALL exs and partners in difficult relationships are personality disordered, everybody knows that!

 

Exactly. Can anyone think of anyone else nowadays not tagged with BPD?

 

It's the in thing. It means people have to do pills and go to therapy.

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If someone is suspected to have a disability, they need to consult with a therapist and get tested. Never, ever self diagnose yourself or another person. Leave that to a professional who is trained and has better resources on hand to work through the disability.

 

You're right. If she does not have bpd my apologies but its damn sure something not right. I mean maybe shes changed by now idk.

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Well she use to take these mysterious pills i never asked her about. She had very bad anxiety too she would freak out and black out and just cry and cry

 

Instead of investigating what she could have, why not ask her? However, she has every legal right to not disclose her medical history to you. It's your choice whether to stay with her or not, but oh that's right... you guys broke up.

 

So why does this this all of a sudden matter?

 

As someone who works in the mental health field, I can inform you that anxiety can be expressed or stemmed from multiple disabilities. It's not always depression or BPD.

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Instead of investigating what she could have, why not ask her? However, she has every legal right to not disclose her medical history to you. It's your choice whether to stay with her or not, but oh that's right... you guys broke up.

 

So why does this this all of a sudden matter?

 

As someone who works in the mental health field, I can inform you that anxiety can be expressed or stemmed from multiple disabilities. It's not always depression or BPD.

 

Like i said before its other symptoms not just anxiety.

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Can you give an example of how she gave you hell? Was she using you for sex or were you using her for sex? Did you treat her like a human being? Do you hug her when she cries? Do you tell her you love her smile or that she is beautiful? Is anyone she knows tied to the medical field just trying to shove pills down her throat? Is she just trying to get on disability so she can get money and then go hideaway?... I have a friend that did that.

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I agree Zaph. With the bedside kettle station too LOL! The thing about the way PDs are publicized today is people will read it and because of the patterns described in the literature (that people may present with to a T even if not personality disordered) they feel like someone's described their situation so well and it makes sense finally to them why the relationship was cray cray. But again --and from his reply to Ms Darcy I think he OP grasps this-- when someone displays character traits due to which they can only function within specific dynamics, then whether a professional would actually diagnose them with a PD or not is the least of your concern. What should be your concern is the "interface" they use in relation to people so to speak and if you'r going to interact, you're going to interact in that one and only relational model they have. to simplify, you want a crazy-acting person, you can be crazy together. want sane relating, look for someone more sane. don't count on them just changing, like they're a plant who used to be an inch tall and sulln two years ago but has managed to produce a flower or fruit or two along the years. if they're bothered by their way of thinking, feeling, behaving, they'll be actively seeking help with restructuring their habits and may take very long to have something to show for it. if they're not actively trying to change, they're not bothered with themselves. it's everyone else who needs to morph into what would fit nicely with their craycray relational model.

 

i agree with Wise dude, you're seeking them out. saying they always seem to find me isn't very realistic as literally any kid of person may gravitate to you, and you are completely free to gravitate away from them. also, you're thiking about getting in touch with her to get back together. you're doing the gravitating towards. towards a person who hasn't met your preferences in a relationship, and whose character you're bothered by, after all, they seem perfectly personality disordered to you. so yup, i'd do a little introspection to determine why i seek something which i always inevitably am bothered with and resentful about. whatever you choose, keep in mind the results are a package deal in any choice. so don't choose things the results of which you've already proven to yourself you don't accept.

 

you can get good sex without the downsides man. this is just drama.

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Maybe im just not ready for anyone serious

 

you can have casual without the whacky dynamics. disturbing an unstable girl with using for sex is a low road to take. what makes you think she'd love hearing from an ex suggesting they get together for sex only? you weren't planning to pretend to want an actual relationship but then milk it for the sex without the relationship? and if she is so much drama, it's unlikely you'd be able to have the sex only and be spared of the downsides.

 

this is just so wrong.

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You guys sound real slimy.. Like you couldnt care less about the girl you just want easy sex.

 

i think Zaph was joking, but i actually completely agree with this. i also find it hypocritical to be so displeased with her personality and then reveal you're contemplating ringing her up for sex. especially because i highly doubt you'd outright ask her whether she'd just like to get laid sometimes. i imagine you'd try the bonding thing and luring her in...only for her to find you don't accept her, but would sure like action.

 

and saying someone is acting disturbingly, whether it's true or not, does not mean you get to approach them with less respect than anyone else. you can choose to not approach them, but downgrading somene to an orifice because "they act like they're borderline" is just...ugh. don't. just...don't.

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