Two weeks no contact after breakup! Really want to try again! So confused!

[Shenry25]

I'm sorry if this is too long, I'll try and keep it short. Me and my boyfriend were going out for 7 months. We got on so so well! We had been friends before we started seeing each other and we had a real connection. Things started to get a bit rocky over the last month or so and to be honest we were only meeting up once or twice a month for sex. We were still in contact and would talk on the phone but we really weren't seeing much of each other. He is scared of relationships but he always said how happy I made him and that he would commit someday but wanted to take it slow. I held on for a while hoping that maybe things would change and it was pretty upsetting. My family hating seeing my cry and so miserable so they messaged him on Facebook telling me to leave me alone. He told me it would be best if he walked away and it was good between us while it lasted. He then blocked me 😞

My cousin was quite rude to him to be honest and my mum told him to block me. He text me on whatsapp saying he treated me really badly and I'll realise that Then it'll be time to talk if I still want to. My mum and him were still messaging on Facebook at this point and he said he was so sorry, he wishes he could make it up to me and if there was anything he could do she was to let him know. My mum told him if he could make me happy then she wouldn't stand in his way. He told her how much he cared about me and that he would have a serious think about it. He said he can't deny how well we get on and it would make my mum smile if she saw it, which is true. He Kept saying how much he cared about me and he wants to make it right.

I told him before we started no contact that I still wanted to friends and he said he would like that too. Also, he would maybe speak to me in a few weeks time. He doesn't want to particularly stop speaking to me for a while but he says it's the right thing to do. He told my mum "as far as she's concerned, we're not speaking at the minute" which I took to mean he hasn't fallen out with me completely.

 

Do do you think we have a chance at all? I really really want to give us another go!! I DID NOT want my family involved at all but they didn't see why he couldn't be my boyfriend. I explained that he is scared of relationships. He told me not to give them a hard time for messaging him because they done they right thing. Also, he does drink quite a lot. Not to the scale of an alcoholic but he says he needs to make a decision with a clear head. I'm just so confused. I'm 26 and he's 31.

[greywolf]

First, I know your mom has your best interests at heart, but she should be staying out of this. You're an adult.

 

Second, I don't agree with him just wanting to be friends for now. Either he wants you or he doesn't. He shouldn't be putting you on hold. You shouldn't have to be waiting around for him until he figures out what he wants. So many times people say they want to be friends, but what they really mean is that they want to move on but are still afraid to cut all ties.

 

So meet up with him if you want, see what he says. If he says he just wants to be friends for now, I think that will just end in heartbreak for you.

[Andrina]

This is a lesson many of us must learn. When a man tells you point blank he has different dating/relationship goals than you, MOVE ON. Only choose a man who you don't want to change. There are other cute, fun, sexy men out there who will want what you want. Hold out for one of them. That is the secret to relationship happiness. Cut the losers loose so you will be free when the right one comes along.

 

You cannot be friends with an ex-lover. This will prevent you from being emotionally free when Mr. Right comes along. And it'll be a shame when Mr. Right dumps you when he finds out you're still "friends" with an ex. There's not point to being "friends" and it prevents closure. When he gets a new girlfriend, do you really think she'll accept him communicating with you? You'll be put on the back burner and be hurt anew.

 

You risked your heart on the wrong man. Learn from your mistakes and resolve to make a better choice next time. Have a must-have list and a deal breaker list, and stick to it. Always remember that you are the treasure and if a person doesn't treat you like gold, then he won't be in your life.

[Shenry25]

First, I know your mom has your best interests at heart, but she should be staying out of this. You're an adult.

 

Second, I don't agree with him just wanting to be friends for now. Either he wants you or he doesn't. He shouldn't be putting you on hold. You shouldn't have to be waiting around for him until he figures out what he wants. So many times people say they want to be friends, but what they really mean is that they want to move on but are still afraid to cut all ties.

 

So meet up with him if you want, see what he says. If he says he just wants to be friends for now, I think that will just end in heartbreak for you.

 

I was so so angry that she got involved. I told her I wanted to sort it myself but she got in there first incase I didn't go through with it. He told me he does care about me and he doesn't particularly want to stop speaking to me for a while but it's the right thing to do for now. Also that he'll maybe speak to me in a few weeks. I am scared of losing him completely because we were great friends to begin with and were really close. My heads just a mess to be honest. He has stayed in contact with all his exes and stayed friends.

[Shenry25]

This is a lesson many of us must learn. When a man tells you point blank he has different dating/relationship goals than you, MOVE ON. Only choose a man who you don't want to change. There are other cute, fun, sexy men out there who will want what you want. Hold out for one of them. That is the secret to relationship happiness. Cut the losers loose so you will be free when the right one comes along.

 

You cannot be friends with an ex-lover. This will prevent you from being emotionally free when Mr. Right comes along. And it'll be a shame when Mr. Right dumps you when he finds out you're still "friends" with an ex. There's not point to being "friends" and it prevents closure. When he gets a new girlfriend, do you really think she'll accept him communicating with you? You'll be put on the back burner and be hurt anew.

 

You risked your heart on the wrong man. Learn from your mistakes and resolve to make a better choice next time. Have a must-have list and a deal breaker list, and stick to it. Always remember that you are the treasure and if a person doesn't treat you like gold, then he won't be in your life.

 

He kept telling me how happy I made him, he loved me and he would commit - he just needed some time as he was scared. Honestly? I don't want to give it up completely without at least one more chance.

[Wiseman2]

First, tell your family to stop messaging him and block him. You need to do the same and go no contact. You dodged a bullet. He has stated repeatedly he doesn't want a relationship, just hookups.

 

And he's a player and a problem drinker. Surely you can do better than this.

 

It is incomprehensible why your mother and family are pushing you at him. Why don't they want better for you?

we were only meeting up once or twice a month for sex. He is scared of relationships. He then blocked me. My mum and him were still messaging on Facebook he does drink quite a lot. I'm 26 and he's 31.

[Shenry25]

First, tell your family to stop messaging him and block him. You need to do the same and go no contact. You dodged a bullet. He has stated repeatedly he doesn't want a relationship, just hookups.

 

And he's a player and a problem drinker. Surely you can do better than this.

 

It is incomprehensible why your mother and family are pushing you at him. Why don't they want better for you?

 

It is quite a messed up situation I'll admit! One minute my mum told him to get lost and the next, she was telling him how to repair it. Still waiting on his decision two weeks on. He'd never been one to send a message first so it looks like I'm gonna have to be the one to do it. I just need closure one way or another so I can move on either way.

[Iggy5129]

Why are your parents even able to find him on Facebook? Using your mom to beg someone back is really not cool. It's a huge guilt trip and I'm willing to bet it's the only reason he said all those things about feeling bad. What else is he supposed to say to the parents of someone whose heart he broke?

 

You were together for 7 months. It's not that long, why is your family so obsessed with getting him back for you? You're 26 years old, do they not trust you to handle your own life?

 

This is just weird. I wouldn't want to be involved with someone so dependent on their family to take care of their business.

 

After this I can guarantee he won't be back. Who would want a girl who acts like a child with a meddling mother? He's just being nice saying the whole let's be friends thing.

[Wiseman2]

Go no contact and block him. He just told you this in case he wants more hookups (after dating others) to string you along.

 

Again, it is incomprehensible why your own mother would try to 'repair' a relationship with this dirtball. would maybe speak to me in a few weeks time.

[Shenry25]

Why are your parents even able to find him on Facebook? Using your mom to beg someone back is really not cool. It's a huge guilt trip and I'm willing to bet it's the only reason he said all those things about feeling bad. What else is he supposed to say to the parents of someone whose heart he broke?

 

You were together for 7 months. It's not that long, why is your family so obsessed with getting him back for you? You're 26 years old, do they not trust you to handle your own life?

 

This is just weird. I wouldn't want to be involved with someone so dependent on their family to take care of their business.

 

After this I can guarantee he won't be back. Who would want a girl who acts like a child with a meddling mother? He's just being nice saying the whole let's be friends thing.

 

I didn't ask my mum to get involved. I didn't even know she WAS sending him a message until she did. They knew who he was because we had been seeing each other. They thought I deserved better than a friends with benefits situation. I told them I would sort it myself but apparently they thought I wouldn't. My family weren't keen on getting him back into my life until he told them he really cared about me and wanted to make it up to me. He asked her what he could do to make it up to me and he said that he would have a serious think about it and get back to me. He knows I had nothing to do with their contact with him.

[Shenry25]

Can I just make it clear that I DID NOT want my family involved AT ALL. I wanted to sort it myself but as per usual they felt the need to meddle in my life.

[Wiseman2]

Agree. But then you breakup and leave, not beg for more.

They thought I deserved better than a friends with benefits situation.

[Shenry25]

Agree. But then you breakup and leave, not beg for more.

 

I kind of want to explain to him how I'm feeling and least that way I know I've tried!

[Wiseman2]

You already did, he already knows. His choice is to leave and just want hookups. At this point you are wasting your time talking to someone who doesn't want a relationship.

 

Let go! Find someone who does want to date/have a relationship with you. Save your dignity and go no contact. Next time keep your family out of it.

 

Have you read the book "He's Just Not Into You"? It may help you understand the signs of a guy who's just using you and wants to breakup.

I kind of want to explain to him how I'm feeling and least that way I know I've tried!

[Shenry25]

I haven't actually told him how I feel at all! We said we would talk in a few weeks.