Advice please, did I make the right decision??

[npnn]

Hi everyone,

My ex broke up with me almost 3 months ago now, we were together for 1.5 years. Initially, we broke up (he initiated it) but then we got back together the same night. That night, he apologised, said he didn't know what he was thinking and said that we'd work on our relationship and we'd be better in the future. He said that he was split between wanting to be with me and wanting to be single but he didn't want to lose me, he was bawling his eyes out when he said this and said that he just didn't have the urge to see me anymore. However, around 3 weeks later he broke up with me again. This time he wasn't as emotional and we had a friendly chat after before I left.

 

He wanted to be friends and said that maybe we could get back together in the future. We're both in college and had 2 weeks of uni left so we still went to class together. In those two weeks, he'd message me random things like, "i didn't go to my 9am class" or "i injured my thumb again", as if we were still in a relationship.

 

After exams we had a month break and during then I initiated contact once to ask about a book and every other time, he would contact me. He cleared my nickname on facebook (a pet name he had for me), which hurt but then he continued to ask about the book I bought. I was polite in responding to him but I let the conversation end. 2 weeks later he messages me again calling himself an ass for not asking how I went on my exam (I really didn't care if he asked or not) and he seemed to want to continue the conversation, asking me questions and leading the conversation.

 

This semester I moved into a dorm that he also lives in, we always knew this was going to happen even before we broke up. This means that I have to see him almost everyday as we practically live together. My best friend came to visit and she's also good friends with my ex so we saw each other a lot when she was here. During this time, I find out that he slept with someone else pretty much 2 weeks after we broke up, it made me upset but we were broken up so he was free to do whatever he wanted. Even now that my best friend is no longer here, we always seem to still bump into each other and we also have a couple of mutual friends at the dorm. I found out that he has mini crushes on TWO girls in his new friendship group and says he has urges to kiss them but he says that if he got into a relationship with them then it wouldn't be a relationship that he wanted.

 

I know there's a girl he talks to, they were talking even when we were dating but he was completely open about it. I think she likes her but he doesn't see her like that.

 

At the start of this semester, he messaged me to ask if I was going to a certain class and I was so he saved me a seat next to him but my other friends had saved me a seat so he moved to sit with us. The passcode to his phone is still my name, he has the tapestry that I bought him strung up in his room and he taped up a drawing a drew for him on his wall (we have to pack up our rooms at the end of the semester and move back in at the start of the semester so he did all this after we broke up). At this point he's confusing me about what he wants and because of this I felt that I couldn't properly move on. So I told him that I couldn't be friends just yet and I needed space, I asked him to stop messaging and snap chatting me.

 

I don't want him out of my life forever and we have to be friendly with each other since we live in the same dorm and at this point I think I still want him back. Did I make the right decision in telling him that I'm not okay with being friends? I think we need space for both of us to clear our heads and any confusions on both parties with regards to our feelings for each other.

[Hollyj]

You made the right decision. You cannot heal if you are in contact.

 

Block, block, block!

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately that's what "confused about wanting to be single" generally means, they want to play the field and not be tied down.

 

Excellent choice to go no contact, don't be an ex's friend while they sleep around. You should be out with real friends and dating again.

He said that he was split between wanting to be with me and wanting to be single. I find out that he slept with someone else pretty much 2 weeks after we broke up. I asked him to stop messaging and snap chatting me.

[npnn]

he told my best friend that he regrets hurting and breaking up with me, at this point I don't really know what to do about this. Stick to not being friends until he reaches out (if he does)??

[Jibralta]

Yes, you made the right decision. Ask your best friend not to give you updates like the above. It just makes it difficult for you to stay the course, as you see.