bots10 Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 Ex girlfriend of 5 years cheated, moved out, and left me 2.5 months ago. Hasn't talked to me since, well the occasional response when I would do the whole begging and pleading, but nothing substantial. So like you, I was dead to her. I tried 30 days of no contact, messaged her, no response. I was into my 2nd term of no contact, 5 days to be exact when I stumbled across something. A piece of mail. Nothing out of the ordinary because her mail has continued to come here, but in the 2.5 months she's been gone I never opened a piece till last Friday. What did I find did do you ask? A letter for her change of address. Now you may ask be saying, what does her changing her address have to do with healing. It was the fact that she is moving in with this guy, who she cheated on me with, who is 20 years older then her, who has been arrested for selling herion 4 times and lives in a trailer park. That's all it took. After 5 years. Living together 4.5 of them, an engagement ring, an abortion and being on the brink of marriage.. She moves on like I never existed and this was all the wake up call I needed. In the course of 5 minutes my entire outlook changed. I changed my locks, blocked her number, packed up the rest of her crap and all of a sudden was happy and at peace. I was depressed, I had hope she would come back, I thought she had gigs, thought this was a fling, thought I meant more to her, ended up in the hospital, thought about killing myself... But guess what. Now it's all a big mistake. Yes I lost weight, yea I learned a lot, but if someone thst important to you can do this, there not worth it! Hang in there, it gets better, and gets better quick. My advice to you, dig and dig and dig for the truth, it will set you free. Link to comment
shellyf62 Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 Good for you!!! Glad to hear you are moving on! When someone you love cheats on you it is very difficult to process & move on from. Link to comment
Chon Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 Goodluck on your healing. This is the start line of your actual recovery. You will go through the cycle of griefs over time but just think back to this as your basis point to keep you going. Link to comment
Silver star Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 Fantastic - good for you. Onwards and upwards Link to comment
Brutal555 Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 I think that the fake hope is still stopping me from moving on from my ex Link to comment
bots10 Posted August 9, 2016 Author Share Posted August 9, 2016 I think that the fake hope is still stopping me from moving on from my ex It's just that, fake. I was stuck for 2.5 months, with that fake hope. You can't keep thinking it. She's going to come back on her own terms, if at all. Do you think she cares right now? The cold hard truth is no. It won't be for months down the road that maybe you come across her mind. Best thing, leave her be and just know that someday you will cross her mind and hell she may even talk to you. But until then let it go. Link to comment
Chon Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 It's just that, fake. I was stuck for 2.5 months, with that fake hope. You can't keep thinking it. She's going to come back on her own terms, if at all. Do you think she cares right now? The cold hard truth is no. It won't be for months down the road that maybe you come across her mind. Best thing, leave her be and just know that someday you will cross her mind and hell she may even talk to you. But until then let it go. For many people, this simply isn't true. When you read through people's experiences and history on here. You'll see that many ex's do still think about the other person a lot and quite frequently. Having said all that, even if they care, it doesn't matter. They may care, they may miss you, but they aren't interested in getting back together any more. Knowing that they miss you will help steel your heart when there is moment where they do in fact come back with breadcrumbs. I don't see many posters with absolute clean breaks especially when they have had a long term relationships. Link to comment
bots10 Posted August 9, 2016 Author Share Posted August 9, 2016 For many people, this simply isn't true. When you read through people's experiences and history on here. You'll see that many ex's do still think about the other person a lot and quite frequently. Having said all that, even if they care, it doesn't matter. They may care, they may miss you, but they aren't interested in getting back together any more. Knowing that they miss you will help steel your heart when there is moment where they do in fact come back with breadcrumbs. I don't see many posters with absolute clean breaks especially when they have had a long term relationships. I wish mine thought about me, but not even the simplest gesture showing she cared. After 5 years and living together for 4 of them. Not a winch of her showing she thought about me like I did her. I'm just speaking from my own personal experience. I know every situation is different. Link to comment
Brutal555 Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 It's just that, fake. I was stuck for 2.5 months, with that fake hope. You can't keep thinking it. She's going to come back on her own terms, if at all. Do you think she cares right now? The cold hard truth is no. It won't be for months down the road that maybe you come across her mind. Best thing, leave her be and just know that someday you will cross her mind and hell she may even talk to you. But until then let it go. Well she actually called me tonight but i didn't answer, and then half an hour later she went out to the cinema with a friend. I mean you can't miss your ex that much to call him when you have to get ready in a half an hour to go out, right? It must be something else, or it was a "mistake call" Link to comment
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