I Sense a Breakup is about to Happen

[guiltyflood]

Hi all,

 

Longtime poster, here. Been dating a girl for about 5 months, but I feel the breakup coming. I feel the breakup coming, because my gf has gone absolutely cold in the past 3 days. I’m sure the issues in our relationship have been building (nobody’s perfect), but I think the floodgates opened when I went through the craziest three work weeks of my life. I have been working about 70 hours per week (plus weekends), and have been buried in work stress with deadlines and a lack of processes. When I needed to rant to her about how awful work was, she listened. However, this is when I noticed her beginning to pull away. It has not been easy, dealing with the immense work stress combined with her pulling away. Work has also affected the time we spent together, since we just have not had the time to hang out over the past 3 weeks.

 

Is there anything I can do differently? Was I wrong to open up about my work stresses? Can people be turned off by something that I occasionally need to rant about?

 

I sent her a text yesterday basically telling her she knows where to find me. I’m going full NC. Sucks, but it is what it is.

 

Anyhoo, that's my story. Hope work never interferes with your personal lives =D

[Iggy5129]

I mean yeah it sucks but would you want to be with someone long term that can't handle a little temporary stress?

 

The honeymoon is over and neither of you like what you see in front of you.

 

It hurts but you will move on. It's better to know she's unsupportive now than when you've already gotten married. Consider it a blessing. She's probably great, nothing against her but you just might not be compatible.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds you were both kind of pulling away pushing the other away. Maybe it's run it's course because it couldn't endure the strains of everyday life?

I needed to rant to her about how awful work was, she listened. However, this is when I noticed her beginning to pull away.

[guiltyflood]

It sounds you were both kind of pulling away pushing the other away. Maybe it's run it's course because it couldn't endure the strains of everyday life?

 

I don't know if it was the "strain of everyday life", or just an instance of an incredibly hectic time that pulled me away from her for 3 weeks. As a result, we could not hang with each other, and I certainly did not have the energy to go out and do other activities while working 70+ hour weeks.

 

Maybe we weren't right for each other... the Honeymoon did wear off at a certain point. But I feel like I wasn't given a fair opportunity to right it, because of the abnormal stresses of my job during these weird couple of weeks.

[SheGoneMan]

When a breakup is about to happen, trust me, 90% of the time your body will let you know. Your mind may not be telling you "you're gonna get dumped" but your body just has this unsettling feeling. Felt this way the last 3-4 days of my last relationship. On our last day together I was driving to her house to talk with her after some stressful weeks, I actually thought "What if she breaks up with me? ... Lol nah that's not gonna happen" and what do you know, it happened.

 

I'd say this relationship is going down on a rocky slope. Might just be best to leave yourself before you get blindsided. As an outsider on this, it looks to me like you guys might've run your course. But before you do anything over the top you have to sit her down and ask what's really going on.

[Silver star]

5 months isn't very long, so I would imagine she felt that if you were already spending so little time with her then what did the future hold. The early months are when you spend a lot of time together and get to know each other.

 

I just split from a 3 year relationship - among other issues my bf spent most of his life at work! This was a huge problem in the end as how do you have a relationship with someone you never see?

 

If it had been further down the line she may have been more understanding, but after only 5 months she has probably just cut her losses.