Found naked picture of another woman on partners phone, I don't know what to do

[Np1712]

My partner and I have been through a rough patch in the last couple of months but have just started to come out the other side. We have been together for 2 years. Last night I looked on his phone whilst he was sleeping (I know I shouldn't of done this) but I found a folder in his photo albums with pictures that he had taken of me getting dressed without me knowing. In the same folder I also found a photo of another girl, not showing her face but had her boobs out and her tummy covered with her top. This looked like a photo that had been sent to him and he had saved this at 7.30 in the morning on a week day. The photo was on there from before we had our bad patch so he has continued to have it for 5 months. I confronted him about this and all he replied was 'it's nobody', and kept walking away from me and ignoring me, closing doors behind him so I couldn't get in. Then after more probing he said that he got it online but this doesn't look like an online picture. I have also image searched it and has not shown any results on the net. The next day he said the reason he had it was because I wouldn't always have sex with him so he had to get something to basically masturbate over. I feel so hurt and betrayed and crying whilst writing this as it is painful. I don't know what to do as we have a son so it not only affects me but also him. I don't know whether I can trust him or even if he is telling me the truth as he has lied to me on other occasions about different things. Lots of stories keep going round in my head, hurtful ones. And I don't know if there is more to this picture. I just wanted to seek some advice from someone who looks at this from an outsiders point of view and what they would possibly do in this situation as I'm worried that my feelings are affecting my judgement.

[charity]

You should also be concerned that he took naked pictures of you without your knowing.

His reaction to your questioning is not that of a guy who (a.)cares about his relationship (b.) is innocent and (c.) communicates well within a relationship.

The fact that he has lied many time before shows that there is no trust there. The fact you are invading his privacy is proof there is no trust there.

Coming from someone who had 2 kids with someone I didn't feel secure with, I can nly say that you will know when enough is enough... and only then will you find peace.

[j.man]

Don't snoop. You'll never be satisfied by what you find. Could have been sent from someone or he could have downloaded it. He told you it's no one. Believe him or don't. One thing's for sure. He's not first guy and from the state of your relationship it sounds like he won't be the last guy you've been with who beats off to other women's breasts.

 

I would tell him you don't want your pictures on his phone, though. Way too vulnetable a place for them.

[Seraphim]

If he is taking pics of you without your knowledge this is a massive breach of trust. I would say you're not coming out the other side but you better leave. You have no clue what he's going to do with those pics. He sounds quite disturbing.

[greta96]

I know what to do: look out for yourself and dump the creep! Your son will be better off without a dysfunctional family such as yours seems to be, so don't use him as a reason to stick around.

As for this " The next day he said the reason he had it was because I wouldn't always have sex with him so he had to get something to basically masturbate over", well....this made me laugh out loud. As if there is not more than enough masturbation material floating all over the internet! Wherever you turn there's a picture of a naked woman, or a video, and let's not forget the many porn sites one can go on without paying a dime and get their freak on as much as they wish. Porn and nakedness are everywhere you look, so hopefully you don't buy his idiotic excuse. Also, way to blame it on you! Oh yeah, I'm cheating because you're not giving me enough sex. What a cretin...

 

I don't know if he's already physically cheated on you, but he must have flirted with that woman (and how many more?) in order for her to send him that pic. The intention to cheat is definitely there. And him taking pics of you without your knowledge or consent is absolutely creepy and illegal. You don't know where he's posting those pictures.

 

Get in touch with a lawyer and see what options are.

[Wiseman2]

Hard to say which is creepier, taking pics of you undressing without your knowing or blaming your lack of sex for the other pic.

he had taken of me getting dressed without me knowing. he said the reason he had it was because I wouldn't always have sex with him so he had to get something to basically masturbate over.

[Gary Snyder]

Guys look at women.

 

The bigger problem, however, is the trust issues you have. Counseling would be a good idea.

[TMifune]

I would tell him you don't want your pictures on his phone, though. Way too vulnetable a place for them.

 

I thought you were supposed to keep those kinds of pictures in a "mislabeled" photo album that you go through 20 years later with your kids ending in your completely horrified embarrassment.