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Can love overcome pride and guilt?


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So, its only been a week since my girlfriend left me for various excuses and they just sounded like excuses.

After knowing her since she was 14, being best friends and dating for 3 years (im 22) she ended it because she had doubts about us for 3 months (despite booking a holiday together, taking about marriage, spending nearly everyday together and countless of messages and conversations where she said she loved me, had a romantic bath 1 day before the "we need to talk" and was thankful she had me), she Started having "bad thoughts" about other guys, when I confronted her what she meant she was unclear but it meant sleeping with them ( she never acted on those feeling so i am thankful for that) and that she wanted to be single and travel. She said that if it didnt work with us thats it shes done with love.When i said look at me in the eyes and tell me you love me she said yes first time...second time she said less...but her eyes told me that wasnt't the truth...atleast i think.


Week has passed and it's been a hard one, but in all the nights I overthink I also try use the time to reflect...I know I personally Didnt do anything wrong. I always put her first. too much infact where I would always be the rock...id do the hard stuff and fight whenever we did have arguments (silly ones) I also know she's very impulsive and reacts with feelings rather than logic. so If she doesnt like something she wont stand there and take it she explodes.

We had a mini break up 9 months ago, due to long distance and she felt like she couldnt do it anymore but in 4 days she contacted me and realised she was impulsive...said she would spend the rest of her life making me feel better and here we are...maybe i forgave her too fast and didnt address her problem.


Maybe im just making excuses for her I mean she's working 3 jobs atm,shes got an exam for uni coming up and we still have a year of long distance to do... maybe she feels guilty that we wont spend time together this summer and you know someone flirted with her or she wondered what another relationship would be like....we are only 22 after all....

what hurts is she never spoke to me about any of the excuses she said...about doubts and so on...and no one would force themselves to do all the stuff i said above if they have doubts. or maybe im wrong.


Regardless. that whole section above is so you understad the question i asked.

can love overcome pride and guilt?

IF she does regret this and it was impulsive again....would love for me overcome the feeling of guilt of hurting me and pride that she has to be the one that begs forgiveness?

after 3 years and 8 years of friendship can she do that? its only IF anyway but I want opinions.


Im also not sitting here wishing it happens, i accept that maybe the romance fizzled out for her...so all i can do is improve myself for myself first and learn to be me again. In the odd case this is just a stage we must endure in order to grown and come back stronger...or move on.

what gives me hope is my parents who have been togeter 24 years went a year split up and the love was still there for them and now they are so much stronger.


Thank you if you read all this and reply.

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I understand what you're asking but my honest answer is, you need to let her go. She is flaking on you too many times and you keep bringing her back. The bottom line is, she is curious as to what is out there and there is no way your relationship is going to be good with her wondering these kinds of things.

For both your sakes, you need to let her explore and see what she thinks she is missing. You should do the same. Why?Because people tend to start realising what they have and what they stand to lose if they see that you're not always there to run back to and that you're someone whom other females would find just as attractive.

Right now, you are letting her treat you badly like this and she knows by the sounds of it, that you're not going anywhere and she can keep doing this to you.

This is a case of.."if you love something let it go..if it comes back to you, it is yours"....and as well, she needs to start opening her eyes and seeing that you have value and worth too and that others will see that in you as well.

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Why would she have to beg forgiveness? Why should she feel guilt for working 3 jobs, going away for uni and being honest with you? She was honest that she wanted to be free and date others.


It sounds like you are hoping she comes back because you miss her. The juxtaposition you gave about love vs pride/guilt sounds more like your hurt that she left and you think she should feel guilty and beg.. First off she has no reason to feel either and secondly the two are not related.

IF she does regret this and it was impulsive again....would love for me overcome the feeling of guilt of hurting me and pride that she has to be the one that begs forgiveness?
Same girl?
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