Depressed

[cryingalways]

Hey, so I'm feeling very depressed at the moment. Me and my bf are on a break because he's having mental health issues (he's become very socially anxious, likes to be alone...his doctors given him a dianosis etc) and I have been generally ok, enjoying time to see old friends and be alone etc.

However, last night I saw my friends band and they were so good and all so happy..it's made me feel like my life is terrible. I guess I'm jealous. I used to be in bands and hang out with arty people like that. Now I do a job where I hardly speak to anyone and I feel very lonely living at my mums again (had to move out as was living with bf). I don't have any friends to move in with.

I also fell in love a bit with the singer (I'm a singer so it's sort of admiration) then of course found out he has a girlfriend.

I miss my flat, my bf, being in a band and being the creative spontaneous person I used to be. There's a lot to miss. And that band had all the things I want. I don't even know where to begin in making my life better. I just feel like a failure. A lonely failure, who lost their way a long time ago and made hundreds of mistakes and will continue to do so forever because I'm just wired that way.

I've been doing really well at not getting depressed lately too, so this is very annoying.

[fireflies]

Failure isn't making mistakes. It's never trying at all. Rather than beat yourself up for not having the life you think that band is having, figure out what it is you need to do to feel happy, alive, and creative again. Then, do it!

 

As for mistakes, they're only setbacks if you believe them to be. Learn from them and they might just help formulate your next great idea or solution.

[Ms Darcy]

I bet if you let go of your bf for good, some of that cloud would lift.

[lancelot873]

yup it sounds like your thoughts of the past are clouding your path for the future. most definitely you are the person who knows exactly what makes you the happiest, all you need to do is do it. start with small things and you will work your way up to the bigger things because you will remember what it's like to be happy again and you will want more of it, because you already do so you are halfway there. sending you positive vibes!

[gebaird]

Sometimes depression is clinical -- like when everything in your life is awesome and you still aren't feeling happy -- and sometimes it's circumstantial. It sounds to me like you are suffering from circumstantial depression. Think of your emotions like the little light that comes on when you are driving your car and there is a problem. You can ignore the light, or you can pay attention to that little warning sign and make changes. In this case, think small. You may not be able to change your whole life overnight, but you can start moving in a better direction. What are you missing? Music. Friends. Human contact. Interestingly, those three things often go together. Reach out to people. Schedule a jam session. Sing karaoke, whatever it takes to start feeling alive again. I'm a musician myself, so I totally get it! If you are with a BF who can be there for you sometimes and not there for you other times because of his own anxieties, it's important to organize your life in such a way that you can still be happy even if he is struggling. If you love him, you may be able to still make it work. But a lot of that will depend on him getting help for his issues. If the relationship isn't meeting your needs and can't be fixed, it may be time for a change.

[cryingalways]

Thanks guys. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to me

I'm a little better now. I have strangely enough sang karaoke and had a jam! So maybe the experience helped spur me on to do things I enjoy again. I've been seeing a ton more friends since we went on the break. Often I feel happy because I'm doing things and chatting to people who are interested in what I have to say. I haven't felt that way for a long time. But I do miss him and get sad that I can't help him.