How to get laid?

[songbird53]

Seriously! I'm a moderately attractive 19 year old girl and guys tend to show no interest in me. I really try to my best to be approachable to no avail. It's not like I'm expecting a knight in shining armor or perfection, I just get a bit lonely and am interested in your take on it. Also I'm not interested in online dating as it's simply not for me. I'm not asking to be surrounded by the countless men ready to sweep me off my feet but some advice is appreciated.

[Wiseman2]

Since you say you don't like dating sites and you just want to 'get laid', what about clubs/bars?

Also I'm not interested in online dating as it's simply not for me. I'm not asking to be surrounded by the countless men ready to sweep me off my feet but some advice is appreciated.

[songbird53]

I'm 19 so I can't get into clubs/bars. I don't have a fake ID and i don't pass for 21+

[mustlovedogs]

Do you want casual sex? You say you're lonely. There's a big difference between a fling and an emotionally fulfilling relationship.

 

Are you in college? Go to frat parties (if you genuinely just want sex and need to find a large pool of men to hit on)

[Gloworm]

Yeah go to a frat party... all kinds of nasty girls there.

[songbird53]

I'm down for either just don't want to be treated like I'm disposable. I would like to find something more long term eventually but in the mean time casual sex is suitable. I'm starting college this fall.

[mustlovedogs]

Well you will be disposable if you're having casual sex. It's a disposable relationship on both sides, that's the idea.

 

You're not ready for it if your end goals don't line up. Slow down, start college, and talk to cute guys.

[LightWave93]

Okay, felt I should actually offer some advice. You actually sound like the female version of me.

 

Since you're starting college and you're an attractive girl, opportunities will be rife so I wouldn't fret too much. Drink some liquid courage, chat to a few guys at a party, and no doubt one will want to take you home with them. I would actually recommend online dating because sure you may get a few creeps, but there will be PLENTY of men wanting to get laid...and the bright side is, you'll have your choice.

 

Just be safe.

 

 

 

Also, note to self, stop clicking "Delete" instead of the "Edit post" button.

[RainyCoast]

I just get a bit lonely

causal sex does make you disposable, and is a poor way of easing loneliness. i don't see those few minutes helping with your loneliness. i see the post-sex disappointment and the realization you were a convenient orifice making you feel lonelier than you were.

 

if it really is about feeling lonely, make friends. volunteer. join a team. meetups.

[TMifune]

Seriously! I'm a moderately attractive 19 year old girl and guys tend to show no interest in me. I really try to my best to be approachable to no avail. It's not like I'm expecting a knight in shining armor or perfection, I just get a bit lonely and am interested in your take on it. Also I'm not interested in online dating as it's simply not for me. I'm not asking to be surrounded by the countless men ready to sweep me off my feet but some advice is appreciated.

 

If you want to get laid, then you need to be slightly more aggressive. Take the initiative to touch a guy first....go for the kiss. Something that sends a bigger, clearer signal than simply trying to appear approachable.

 

That said, I think you'll find that getting laid isn't really the panacea for how you're feeling that you think it is.

[songbird53]

causal sex does make you disposable, and is a poor way of easing loneliness. i don't see those few minutes helping with your loneliness. i see the post-sex disappointment and the realization you were a convenient orifice making you feel lonelier than you were.

 

if it really is about feeling lonely, make friends. volunteer. join a team. meetups.

 

I think you're right that going the casual route probably isn't right for me but I do have friends and hobbies. I long for a romantic connection and to be touched. It's not like I need someone to complete me and I'm happy without a relationship.. It just sounds nice.

[LightWave93]

Sounds like "friends with benefits" would be of benefit to you. Get to know someone a bit and propose the idea; that way it's not a complete randomer, someone you care for, but no long-term commitment.

[Wiseman2]

I'm down for either just don't want to be treated like I'm disposable. I would like to find something more long term eventually but in the mean time casual sex is suitable. I'm starting college this fall.

 

[video=youtube;WqEOvEoCV3w] ]

[mustlovedogs]

I was anti OLD before I tried it. It has its flaws, absolutely, but you will learn a lot by going on all these dates. And one may click and you'll get a relationship. And it may not click, but you will gain self confidence in how to handle yourself around men. Try OkCupid. I like it best plus it's free.

[greta96]

I long for a romantic connection and to be touched.

 

Well then what you want is not just to "get laid", as you say in your title.

Getting laid is one of the easiest thing one can accomplish, like seriously, all you need to do is breathe lol. It doesn't require any set of skills or elaborate actions on your part, as long as you're alive and kicking you can easily get laid.

Now if you want an emotional connection, and for them not to see you as disposable, that is a bit more difficult and it does require some effort. The first thing you must do is the opposite of what your title says, do NOT give the impression, with words or action, that you're out looking to get laid. You're awfully young, the right connection will come with time. Keep living and doing your stuff and well...at your age that's everything you need to do really. Be patient, this is just the beginning of your adult life!

[Gary Snyder]

Monogamy and marriage is the safer bet.

[Wiseman2]

If you don't know what you want don't expect others to. Saying 'i just want to get laid' but in fact wanting a relationship is lying to yourself.

 

Get on dating apps with a nice profile and pis and put 'long term relationship' or 'casual', but make up your mind.

I think you're right that going the casual route probably isn't right for me but I do have friends and hobbies. I long for a romantic connection and to be touched.

[BlarneyStone]

What Greta said. It's super easy to get laid, especially if you're a girl. You just dont realize the power of the vagina yet.

[Gary Snyder]

What Greta said. It's super easy to get laid, especially if you're a girl. You just dont realize the power of the vagina yet.

 

- That's a misnomer...... most women don't want that, they want love; it's fantasy talk, not reality. Also, men can become famous or hit on a larger number of women and increase their dating pool. Things are not always as they appear on the surface.

[LightWave93]

Getting laid is one of the easiest thing one can accomplish, like seriously, all you need to do is breathe lol.

It's super easy to get laid...

 

If this is true, then I have failed at life.

 

 

But yeah, OP, you need to come to terms with what exactly you want before pursuing it.

[BlarneyStone]

- That's a misnomer...... most women don't want that, they want love; it's fantasy talk, not reality. Also, men can become famous or hit on a larger number of women and increase their dating pool. Things are not always as they appear on the surface.

 

I have no idea what you're trying to argue.

[John John]

What Greta said. It's super easy to get laid, especially if you're a girl. You just dont realize the power of the vagina yet.

 

While it's true that women can pretty much get sex whenever they want...the flip side is that they run the risk of being used for sex (i.e. "hit it and quit it," or "pump and dump") and then just not taken seriously by men for long-term relationships. So they'll end up feeling like "all men want me for is for sex." I've seen a female friend or two go through that, and it's not pretty. They also have to deal with sl*t shaming. So while it may be easier for them to hook up, it comes with a price.

[songbird53]

What Greta said. It's super easy to get laid, especially if you're a girl. You just dont realize the power of the vagina yet.

 

Thank you to everyone who has posted! It's given me a lot of clarity of what I truly want.

 

Now it's probably true that I don't know the power of the vagina yet because I honestly don't see how easy it is for me to get laid. Though I am relatively attractive and don't have a significantly off putting personality no one shows interest in sleeping with me. If I so chose to, how would you recommend I'd get laid without bars, clubs, or online dating. It's not like I'm going to go out and the first guy that's interested I'm just curious about suggestions

[LightWave93]

If I so chose to, how would you recommend I'd get laid without bars, clubs, or online dating./QUOTE]

 

Seriously, just chat with guys you like and assuming they're not single or gay, 9 times out of 10 they will be more than happy to go back with you at the end of the night and sleep with you.