Jump to content

Recommended Posts

A few months ago, I was having difficulty finding a place to live and my best friend offered his place as temporary housing. We've known each other for 5 years and we get along really well so naturally I've become really close with him. He has had a girlfriend while we were friends and there has been nothing remotely romantic about our relationship.

 

The apartment that I moved into had two rooms - my best friend's room and his roommate's room. He gave me his room to stay in while he slept in his roommate's bed. This was really nice of him but it's not odd because he is in general a really nice guy. I tried to pay him for my part of rent but he kept insisting there was no need and that that was what friends were for. Two months later, the lease ended and his roommate left for a job in another state. My best friend found a studio to live in and told me I could come with him until I found a place of my own. His studio had one bed (the one that was in his room and that I was borrowing at the time) and we decided we could just sleep on the bed together. I know - this is really bizarre but at the time, I didn't think much of it and we were just friends, so what's the big deal?

 

A little after we moved to his new place, my friend would be very affectionate in his sleep. There was no sex but he'd put his arm under my head, hold me close and after some time started placing his hands on my body and sometimes he'd place my hand on his. I was surprised at first but I didn't really mind. We were always close but ever since our living arrangements, I've started to feel like we were almost dating. We worked at the same place and we lived in the same studio so we were almost never apart. We had breakfast, lunch and dinner together and we never fought and always had a great time. At the time, I had two jobs so sometimes he would come to my second job to pick me up with an umbrella if it rained or text me asking when I was coming home so he can figure out when we were having dinner. But all this time, he was only affectionate at night when we were supposed to be sleeping. In the daytime, we would return to just being really close friends. The first night we spent the night together he told me something hurt down there and I asked why but he just laughed. I thought maybe he was referring to blue balls but I didn't want to say anything because it was when things first started transpiring and I didn't want to make a wrong move. We'd joke about how we should just date but one of us would always end with "NAH." (We joke around a lot so this part I may be over-analyzing.) This went on for a month or two longer.

 

Then one day, he started kissing me in his sleep and at one point was on top of me but nothing more. The next morning I wanted to mention it and see where it went. I thought maybe it could turn into conversation and we could be honest about what was happening at the moment. I asked him if he slept well and he said yes. I asked him if he remembered kissing me and he looked at me in shock and said I was lying. I asked him why I would lie about this and he continued to say it was not true and that I was lying. I was taken aback by this and honestly a bit disappointed that he would lie and turn this around on me. I dropped the subject altogether and ended up moving out. He started dating someone a few months after so I suppose he didn't really like me since he didn't ever make the move to ask me out. I asked one of my best girlfriends what she thinks this is about and she suggested he may be a sexsomniac. What do you think?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is actually a thing. I had it for a while with an ex gf, so it wasn't too big a deal as we obviously had sex anyway, but I'd frequently wake up in the middle of the night having sex with her, and it unsettled us both each time. It can be caused by underlying stress which he may not be conscious of. Tbh, I believe him that he doesn't remember, as it's unlikely for a guy to kiss a girl who then reciprocates it, to then go on and deny it happening. Maybe have a talk with him and see if there is something there between you, cos if you start dating this won't be an issue anyway!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is actually a thing. I had it for a while with an ex gf, so it wasn't too big a deal as we obviously had sex anyway, but I'd frequently wake up in the middle of the night having sex with her, and it unsettled us both each time. It can be caused by underlying stress which he may not be conscious of. Tbh, I believe him that he doesn't remember, as it's unlikely for a guy to kiss a girl who then reciprocates it, to then go on and deny it happening. Maybe have a talk with him and see if there is something there between you, cos if you start dating this won't be an issue anyway!

 

I read about this which is why I thought maybe my friend might have a point!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thatwasthen: Yes I know it was a weird situation that I don't think I really wanted to acknowledge because I started to develop feelings for him.

Where did you read about this so called "sexomaniac, Howdy? After a quick google all I came up with was a lame Urban Dictionary definition and a thread in Yahoo answers which is hardly a good go-to for advice or accurate knowledge. Anyway... do you have a link?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Where did you read about this so called "sexomaniac, Howdy? After a quick google all I came up with was a lame Urban Dictionary definition and a thread in Yahoo answers which is hardly a good go-to for advice or accurate knowledge. Anyway... do you have a link?

 

Seems like another one of those lamer buzzwords/phrases that people have to keep inventing in order to make themselves interesting. Like "Reaching out" (very common on here I see), "Solutions", "Polyamorous", etc. - everything has to be marketed to buggery nowadays.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...