Doubts

[GeorgiaW]

Hi everyone

 

I broke up with my boyfriend 3 weeks ago. I had been with him 2years

We had been arguing for two weeks then on my birthday he completely ruined it.

 

Anyway, he wants to make things work but I'm not so sure, I'm having doubts about leaving him for good and im having doubts about taking him back.

 

He makes me feel like I'm on the only girl in the world, he compliments me, looks after me, treats me well, and most importantly he is very good with my little boy and treats him like his own.

 

However, he is very insecure, he says it's because I'm so beautiful and he is worried I'm gonna leave him for someone better, (I'm not so beautiful, I reassure him that I never get chatted up, and I wouldn't cheat or leave him for someone else)

 

I previously went for a job interview- his mood instantly changed as soon as I said it was a guy who showed me round and interviewed me, I new why so I instantly said don't worry you have nothing to worry about.

 

And I also don't see us having a future, for example moving out, we have been saying it for ages but nothing's changed

 

Since iv been with him he has had so many jobs I can't even keep count, he just won't go in one day and make and excuse his ill.

I need stability I have always told him this.

 

I really love him and I miss him but I'm in two minds about what to do

 

Please help and advise would be greatly appreciated

 

Xx

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like there are too many incompatibilities as far as goals and values. Also red flags such as possessiveness and jealousy. Every relationship may have had good points but overlooking these red flags and deal breakers would be a mistake.

 

What was the breakup about?

he is very insecure

I also don't see us having a future

he has had so many jobs I can't even keep count

[dearanyone5717]

it sounds like you have way more cons than pros to a relationship with him

[reinventmyself]

Don't let those doubts sway you.

It's perfectly natural to miss someone because no one is all bad and you have shared memories and good times.

But the fact remains that you can point blank state that you do not see a future with him and his insecurities are not going to magically go away.

Miss him, mourn the relationship but make mature, wise decisions for yourself and you have a responsibility to your child to choose the very best partner possible.

[Andrina]

You have doubts because of his good points. If he had minor flaws, it could be worked out. The two negative things you list should be deal breakers. He lacks a good work ethic. Life is expensive. Pass. His jealousy is out of control. You are walking on eggshells. You will always be surrounded by men--at work, in the grocery store, etc. You are being punished for a crime you haven't committed. Who needs that? "That man looked at you and I saw you smile at him." "Your male co-worker said hi to you at the grocery store. Are you having an affair with him?"

 

Nope. Minor things would be leaving a pair of dirty socks on the floor once in a while. He's not a keeper. Go no contact. Take care.