mind or heart ?

[Leo1987]

I met a beautiful girl, she Works 2hours a week in the same building as me, I initiated first by adding her on facebook, after I initiated the conversation online, she used to answer my messages in the next day, but long texts. At that time I couldnt see in my job anymore due to a change in my schedule. I told her online that I really liked her and her smile made me feel good, she immediately suggested a date, but not the exactly time and place. I suggested a time first and she said she couldnt, next day I started a normal conversation, everything ok, no pressure and then she just started to ignore my messages, I waited one week and sent something like " I understand that you might have changed your mind, but your smile is a gift " she took two days and replied me - " I didnt change my mind, I was just busy, Let's go this Friday ? "

we had our first date and it was AMAZING, we had a lot of things in common. at the end we both liked each other and we kissed.

 

but online she is very cold and distant. I told her I liked her 3 times and she doesnt say anything. I told her that I wanted to have a little chat with you about the date, because we were both drunk and I would like to ask you things. She replied I'm very busy but we might catch up this weekend.

 

This Wednesday I could see her in my job, I gave her chocolate and she was very shy and happy and immediately asked me " Let's eat something now ? " and we again had a good time, I wasnt expecting to go out with here that day and I had forgotten my wallet at home and she Paid for the dinner, and said, next time you pay, Dont worry. hahaha We kissed again

 

After that I texted her just to say things related to our job, but what comes next ? I would like to ask her whatsup number and then call her and invite her out. but sometimes I think I should leave her alone at least this weekend because showing too much disare isnt healthy also because I feel she wants to take it easy, slowly but surely.

should I follow my heart or my mind ?

[Wiseman2]

She's probably waiting for 'next time', tell her you want to reciprocate and take her to dinner.

I had forgotten my wallet at home and she Paid for the dinner, and said, next time you pay

[dearanyone5717]

just take it slow with the text/calling for a while. she just seems like she not very into txting or messaging over the phone. she would go on dates with you if she wasn't interested. so try to keep all of your conversations to strictly person to person. go old school

[Leo1987]

I forgot to mention, today is my birthday and would it give a bad impression on her to have a dinner with me ? tomorrow I might go to Rio to watch the Olympic Games ( I live 4 hours driving from there ) and come back on sunday. I will know the answer for sure tonight, otherwise I would just ask for a dinner and leave the date open.

[Wiseman2]

Happy bday. As long as you pay this time rather than put her on the spot again because of that why not?

I forgot to mention, today is my birthday and would it give a bad impression on her to have a dinner with me ?

[Leo1987]

I didnt get it, did you mean that she WOULD or WOULDNT go on dates with me if she wasnt interested

 

sorry for asking that, english is not my language as you can notice, and I might have misunderstood what you mean.

[GeorgiaW]

Follow your heart, all you can do is try. I get the impression she isn't a messaging person and maybe she is busy. Ask her for another date and ask for her number then.

[Leo1987]

would it be too much if I asked for it to be tonight ?

Follow your heart, all you can do is try. I get the impression she isn't a messaging person and maybe she is busy. Ask her for another date and ask for her number then.

[limichelle]

Happy Birthday!

 

It wouldn't be too much to ask for her to celebrate your birthday with you tonight.

 

I say ask her out tonight. She would be flattered if anything that you were thinking of her on your special day.

 

Good Luck

 

Lisa

[Leo1987]

I already did it, it was 3 hours ago

 

she has been online after that but hasnt visualized it yet, she has done it before, actually most of the time she takes hours to reply my messages, but face to face she acts like she is fancing me.

 

I don´t know whether she really isnt into social media messages or the interest isnt mutual ?

 

Happy Birthday!

 

It wouldn't be too much to ask for her to celebrate your birthday with you tonight.

 

I say ask her out tonight. She would be flattered if anything that you were thinking of her on your special day.

 

Good Luck

 

Lisa

[Jabron1]

I already did it, it was 3 hours ago

 

she has been online after that but hasnt visualized it yet, she has done it before, actually most of the time she takes hours to reply my messages, but face to face she acts like she is fancing me.

 

I don´t know whether she really isnt into social media messages or the interest isnt mutual ?

 

Don't worry about text messages. All that matters is that she is compliant where it really counts.

 

The few real tests of her interest are her accepting your date invites, her general availability to you, and being receptive to your sexual passes.

 

If she is good with these things, but somewhat distant with texts, the simple answer is to text her less. Make your messages have more purpose, and stop texting her just to tell her that she has a pretty smile.

 

Stop telling her how you feel; that is a mistake.

 

Show her how you feel instead.

 

The dynamics here are that you tell her a load of gushy stuff, then she takes that and leads it to something productive. You follow her.

 

Start leading this thing more.

 

Emotional control/self discipline is the basis of good game.

[Leo1987]

thanks Jabron1

 

what would be messages with more purpose ?

 

She hasnt replied my last message from yesterday yet...I sent a short text, just asking how she was and inviting here for a dinner, that's it.

 

I just have to wait now, but what if she doesnt reply my message at all ?

 

the thing is, I recently was in a long-term exhausted relationship where not replying a message was a big red flag. The girl had a long-term relationship ( dont know how long ago ) as well and I feel that she might be afraid of falling in love.

 

Don't worry about text messages. All that matters is that she is compliant where it really counts.

 

The few real tests of her interest are her accepting your date invites, her general availability to you, and being receptive to your sexual passes.

 

If she is good with these things, but somewhat distant with texts, the simple answer is to text her less. Make your messages have more purpose, and stop texting her just to tell her that she has a pretty smile.

 

Stop telling her how you feel; that is a mistake.

 

Show her how you feel instead.

 

The dynamics here are that you tell her a load of gushy stuff, then she takes that and leads it to something productive. You follow her.

 

Start leading this thing more.

 

Emotional control/self discipline is the basis of good game.

[Gary Snyder]

It's easier to negotiate a date on the phone (voice).

[Wiseman2]

Yeah keep texts brief, you can't conduct 'relationship talks' via text.

what would be messages with more purpose ?

This 1987;6616682]I sent a short text, just asking how she was and inviting here for a dinner, that's it.

[Leo1987]

I havent asked for her number yet, Should I send another message asking for her phone eventhough she hasnt replied my previous message yet ?

 

It's easier to negotiate a date on the phone (voice).

[Leo1987]

I sent this message " Hello Anna, How are you doing ? Let's go out for dinner tonight ?....ps can forget your purse at home as well..haha "

 

that was the message.

 

Yeah keep texts brief, you can't conduct 'relationship talks' via text. This

[Wiseman2]

Hopefully she can respond on such short notice. Next time you see her in person ask for her number.

I sent this message " Hello Anna, How are you doing ? Let's go out for dinner tonight ?....ps can forget your purse at home as well..haha "

Same girl?

[Jabron1]

thanks Jabron1

 

what would be messages with more purpose ?

 

She hasnt replied my last message from yesterday yet...I sent a short text, just asking how she was and inviting here for a dinner, that's it.

 

A message with the goal of achieving something, and pushing the interaction forward. I strongly suggest that you learn some text-game. There are plenty of resources around that teach the basics.

 

Still, you asked her out, and she hasn't replied in over 24 hours. That tells you all that you need to know. Her interest in you is simply not where you need it to be.

 

The way I deal with that is by making her a low-priority option. I focus my energy on other girls that are more reliable, or I focus my energy on getting more options.

 

Put her on the backburner. Maybe send her another message in a week or two. Send her a low investment message on Facebook to see if she bites. If she doesn't, I'd just delete her number (or whatever the Facebook equivalent is?).

 

I havent asked for her number yet, Should I send another message asking for her phone eventhough she hasnt replied my previous message yet ?

 

No. You are going to come across as very needy if you do that.

[Leo1987]

She replied yesterday by sending a Picture of her and her two nephew's, she was lying on the floor smiling and her two nephew's ( aged 5 and 2 ) over her and a message saying " Sorry but it was the nephew's night "

 

I replied and after 3 messages I stopped texting.

 

Hopefully I will see her tonight and we can talk in person and lets see how it goes, I'm thinking of having a drink tonight.

 

I friend of mine who studied with her said she was very concentrated in her studies and not a very popular person, I assume that she is shy, but in person she talks a lot to me. she is just not really into me or she shows her emotions in a diferente way.

[Leo1987]

I mean she replied on saturday evening, not yesterday.

[Jabron1]

I mean she replied on saturday evening, not yesterday.

 

Look fella, I've fallen into your mindset before. It's only natural.

 

She is your only option, and so you are trying to make it work - no matter what her crappy interest.

 

You need to create more options, and put this girl on your backburner. That's how it is for real.

 

She comes around? Great. Move it to getting laid. You have had a few dates with her now, and you need to escalate.

 

There's far too much poncing around here.

[Leo1987]

You are right man, for the game it is the way it is. I have some more options but it isnt the same, you know ?

 

I am in love and that is a rollercoster, yesterday she declined my invitation because she had to work extra hours. I know it is true.

 

we arrenged something for wednesday after work, I'm thinking of a film in the cinema as well, but I dont know if I ask her on wednesday in person or text her earlier, the earlier the better because we both work very early in the next day.

 

If something goes wrong tomorrow I will give up this feeling.

 

Look fella, I've fallen into your mindset before. It's only natural.

 

She is your only option, and so you are trying to make it work - no matter what her crappy interest.

 

You need to create more options, and put this girl on your backburner. That's how it is for real.

 

She comes around? Great. Move it to getting laid. You have had a few dates with her now, and you need to escalate.

 

There's far too much poncing around here.

[Jabron1]

You are right man, for the game it is the way it is. I have some more options but it isnt the same, you know ?

 

I am in love and that is a rollercoster, yesterday she declined my invitation because she had to work extra hours. I know it is true.

 

we arrenged something for wednesday after work, I'm thinking of a film in the cinema as well, but I dont know if I ask her on wednesday in person or text her earlier, the earlier the better because we both work very early in the next day.

 

If something goes wrong tomorrow I will give up this feeling.

 

That's fair enough.

 

I would just remind you to show intent. You have been out with her 3 or 4 times, and you need to start pushing things forward sexually.

 

Never be ashamed or afraid of being a man and wanting her. That's passion.

 

Like I said, don't tell her how you feel - show her instead.

 

If she doesn't want that, or she isn't really interested, it's best to know. It's better than being in a grey area, and it's just plain being honest with your desires.

 

Rejection is always better than regret.

[Leo1987]

That's why I wanna go to the cinema, because I want to make her wet there.

 

officially Ive been twice in a date with her, yesterday I met her in the company.

 

Grey area is terrible hahaha

 

That's fair enough.

 

I would just remind you to show intent. You have been out with her 3 or 4 times, and you need to start pushing things forward sexually.

 

Never be ashamed or afraid of being a man and wanting her. That's passion.

 

Like I said, don't tell her how you feel - show her instead.

 

If she doesn't want that, or she isn't really interested, it's best to know. It's better than being in a grey area, and it's just plain being honest with your desires.

 

Rejection is always better than regret.

[ptpdiscussion]

Some girls like to play mind games because that's how we are taught. We don't want to look to interested because then the guy won't like it. Maybe she takes long because she doesn't want you to know she is really interested.