Jump to content

Ghost of ex girlfriend past


IKnowImOkay

Recommended Posts

Well, my boyfriend and I got in a rather heated discussion last night.

We have been dating a year and a half now. We have already discussed marriage will be in our future. Heck, we have been looking through rings already.

He is my first and my only. I am his third serious relationship.

He is such a good guy. He his caring and funny. His heart is on the right place.

However, last night we went out to eat with his dad. We started talking about some restaurant. My boyfriend was convinced he'd taken me there. He started going into detail about everything and I finally said (because I knew from the beginning it was an ex, I was just trying to politely hush him to spare the embarrassment in front of his dad) 'no that wasn't me.' Then they both starting laughing at how he had confused me with an ex. Again. This wasn't the first time.

Later that night he wanted to know why I was so quiet at dinner. So I told him. He was defensive of course and understandably... It was an honest mistake. But he tends to mention the other girls every now and then. Like, 'oh ya, I've been there before with [my ex]', or we would be driving by the river and he tells about the mishaps when he went kayaking with the other ex. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Though I know it is a part of his past. I don't want him to feel like he can never share his past with me, but I don't care to hear about these girls. He said I just need to get over myself because he loves me and not them. He shouldn't have to feel the need to convince me everyday that he loves me (I am sad to know he feels that he needs to do this, because he needn't to and I must have given him the wrong impression. I am the insecure type to be honest).

To finish this novel (sorry!) I don't know what do to in order to be more chill... Am I so wrong to feel the way I do? Am I over thinking it all like he says I am?

Help! Damsel in distress!

Link to post
Share on other sites

He's just not tactful. That's not related to you or fidelity or love whatsoever. Just tell him, "I love your stories but spare me the details about the exes"

He said I just need to get over myself because he loves me and not them. He shouldn't have to feel the need to convince me everyday that he loves me
Link to post
Share on other sites

Insecurity can kill a relationship, so I suggest you begin work on that.

 

That said, I agree with Wiseman in that he should be more tactful. Talk to him on how you don't mind sharing each other's past with one-another, but to save details on past experiences with ex's.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Men should not talk about their ex's in front of their girlfriends. Too bad he does not know this.

 

That said, yes, him thinking it was you that was with him at the resturant was an honest mistake. Men are usually less detail oriented than women.

 

If it helps, good catches are naturally monogamous when they are in love.

 

If it keeps happening and you have already talked about it, you could try reverse psychology and talk about your crushes from the past. Once he sees how it feels when the shoe is on the other foot, maybe he'll see the light.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...