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Friendship Feels One-sided


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I've been very close friends with my friend for over two years now. At first, the friendship was great. We had a close knit friend group that would tell each other almost anything, and I had met up with my friend at even 1 or 2 AM to discuss things. However, that slowly started changing. My friend is somewhat notorious for being slow to respond to texts or messages. This was the first thing to change. Response times would get longer and longer, and eventually a majority of texts/messages to my friend would not be responded to. I shrugged this off as one of my friend's bad habits, as I knew this wasn't exclusive only to me. More recently, as my friend's gotten new friends (as have I), I feel like I'm putting much more effort and care into this friendship than my friend is. My friend sees other people far more than me, is inattentive to my messages compared to my friend's other friends, and I haven't been alone with my friend for at least several months, and my friend has declined when I've offered multiple times.

 

Something also happened recently that made me think that this friendship is very one-sided. I asked my friend to go somewhere with me and some members of our old friend group. My friend said it was too expensive, but offered to come if two other people also came. I thought this was reasonable, but couldn't agree to it because we had a limited amount of slots for this event. Then, we (doesn't include this friend) arranged for something less expensive on the same day, and I asked my friend again if my friend would be able to attend the later, cheaper event. My friend asked "GenericNameX and GenericNameY?" and declined because I would not accomodate those people. To me, this felt like the straw that broke the camel's back. I thought it revealed plain as day that my friend simply didn't value me (or some other people in our old friend group, for that matter) as a friend, nor value my company. I felt incredibly disrespected, and my friend seems to have new, more important priorities. Since I believe friendship is a two-way street, I don't think I can continue to be friends with this person.

 

Am I overreacting? Am I in the wrong here?

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It sounds petty, but if want to end the friendship over disagreements about who's in the clique and who isn't then that's what you need to do.

My friend asked "GenericNameX and GenericNameY?" and declined because I would not accomodate those people. To me, this felt like the straw that broke the camel's back.
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I think you're overreacting a bit to this type of friend. She's shown that's she's not too reliable (e.g. with the long response times).

It could be that she's grown close or closer with the other 2 friends and feels a sense of loyalty.

I would either distance a bit from her or just take the friendship as it is: more of an aquaintance and less of a close friend.

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Well, given that she only wanted to go if there were a specific two other people involved or not at all, regardless of the venue I'd say the friendship has run its course.

 

Start moving forward, make your own plans, try not to take it to heart. Not all friendships last and people do grow apart. When that happens it's far better simply move forward and focus on other friendships the same way the other friend is. If they aren't toxic to you, by all means you don't have to do any dramatic severing, just start living your life without them being quite so central to it.

 

I would be a little annoyed if something like what you describe happened to me, possibly even hurt a little, but mostly I'd just figure, "Eh, time to move on with new friends," and leave it.

 

Stop inviting her places for a bit and focus on other friends.

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