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I wasn't dumped. I was the one who gave up on us and pulled the plug.


Chon

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I've been rationalising to myself that I was "forced" to end things between us because I could she wasn't happy in the relationship any more. Whilst breaking up, I told her things like "Sometimes loving someone means letting go of the relationship." She only responded back about how it seemed quite cheesy.

 

The idea of us becoming strangers again is extremely sad even though it hasn't hit me emotionally. Yet the truth is that I'm the one who choose this for myself.

 

It feels like I was trying to avoid responsibility of my decision here by believing that it was inevitable because she wasn't happy for a while. Those words now just seem like words of self-protection now, not ones of genuine care and love for the other person. It just seems so selfish now.

 

The truth is that even though I felt she was drifting from the relationship during the last few months, even though she felt a tremendous amount of relief when our relationship ended, even though she said she couldn't see herself marrying me during that period of time, it was possible that we might never have broken up had I not been the one to pull the plug on us.

 

I assumed she gave up on the relationship based on her actions and reactions. When in truth I was the one who stopped fighting. I was the one who gave up on us and ended things. And so she followed suit with my final decision... we both gave up on us. So here I am, mourning the loss of my future with her, yet I was the one who pulled the plug.

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This is just a case of dumpers guilt/remorse. To be honest it doesn't matter who forced whose hand in the breakup if the relationship was falling apart.

I felt she was drifting from the relationship during the last few months, even though she felt a tremendous amount of relief when our relationship ended it was possible that we might never have broken up had I not been the one to pull the plug on us.
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