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Going back to the States.....am I doing the right thing????


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It's been a while since I've posted. After 7 months of living in Italy, I am FINALLY starting to come around. WHEW! That was rough, but looking back, it's already life changing. I can feel it in my bones that I am changed. I am starting to see the beauty and enjoying the ride. Having said all that though, I am going back to the states, just for a little visit. A vacation if you will and I leave tomorrow. The thing is, as much as I wanted to go back the moment I stepped foot here, I am struggling with it now. I know deep in my core that my soul NEEDS just a little break from this place. I feel that I need to go back, see family...familiar faces and just recharge my battery. But again, I am struggling with it a bit. I have a bit of anxiety about leaving my husband. Since we got here this will be the first time we've been apart. I am a Navy wife and I know what it is to be apart, but this is the longest length of time that we have been TOGETHER in eight years. I am only going for six weeks, but still. We are in such a good place in our marriage right now, probably the best it's ever been and I don't want to halt that because I go. I want to believe that we are much stronger and solid than that, but I really don't know. I know I NEED to go and I will regret it if I don't.

I really want to see my mom, we didn't leave on the best of terms when I saw her last and I just need to see her and love her. And my niece and nephew are growing up and I just don't want to miss it. I am extremely close to my family and I just have this great sense of everyone is getting older (especially my grandparents and parents) and time is precious. It's only six weeks and I know my husband will be fine. He's MY family now and he is the one I will always go back to. Why am I having such a hard time with this? It's just my own anxiety getting the best of me I guess. I always feel this way when we part, I feel the same way when he leave, it's just I am the one doing the leaving this time.....


Just needed to vent and could use a little unbiased outside input....

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