Looking for someone else's perspective on this please ....

[Elliejayde]

I was LD with my ex in the end as he moved for his job. He's been close to me a few times and asked to catch up, the last twice I've said I have plans.

Anyway, yesterday he contacted me, said he was an hour away and did I want to catch up. I decided to go, thinking it won't do any harm. It's been almost 4 months. He asked me to stay with him overnight, so we could both drink, but I said no and kept on soft drinks to drive. (Although he only had 2 and then switched to soft drinks too.)

 

So I met him in a bar, we had a great night. A good chat, we laughed, we joked. He told me he was off next week and was looking to get away mon - fri, I suggested somewhere he could go. He looked me straight in the eye and said 'if only I had someone to go with me.' I ignored it. I told him my kids were staying with their dad in 2 weeks for 5 days, he told me where he'd be (about a 90 min drive from me) told me which hotel and that he'd love to have me there if it could happen.

He also offered for me to stay at his when I'm near his area, but I turned it down as I have already paid for somewhere to stay.

 

It's all still very easy to be around him. He came and sat next to me on the couch, was stroking my leg, holding my hand. Kept leaning over to kiss me every so often. We kissed bye and I left. He asked me to message him when I got home, but literally the minute I left he text

 

Nice to see you as always. Safe drive babe xx

 

I messaged him when I got back home to say I was back safely, then said I felt like I'd invited myself to see him in a fortnight, he replied with

 

Well if it works out, then happy days. I'll let you know when I know all the info for definite ASAP xx

 

I then said I was dropping to sleep as I had an early hospital appointment and got 'sleep well, night babe xxx'

 

I went to sleep on a high. It had been a great night, sex wasn't mentioned, he'd asked to see me again, and made it seem like he wished I could go with him away next week, offering me somewhere to stay so I don't need to pay for a hotel etc.

 

What I should of done at the point was waited for him to contact me. No. I messaged him this morning and asked about the hotel. He replied after an hour & a half and put 'not bad. Didn't sleep well. Hope the hospital was ok xxx' so I replied 'as well as it could, thanks. Hope your meeting goes well today xx' he's just put 'thanks. Have a good day xx' although is constantly on what's app since.

 

Now I'm majorly stuck. He obviously didn't want to carry on the conversation this morning, but I feel like a moron again for getting my hopes up. Am I looking into it too much?? Someone slap some sense into me PLEASE!!

 

EDIT - I'm in the UK, his meeting isn't until 3pm this afternoon, he's doing nothing this morning, he told me that last night. So he's not busy which is why he hasn't said much via text.

[Clinton]

Doesnt sound like much at this stage. He was in town,maybe bored, maybe hoping for a booty call.

 

Dont get your hopes up.

[catfeeder]

Who initiated the breakup, how long ago, and why?

[Silver star]

I wish there was a file for all the abbreviations people use on here. What is LD?

 

I prefer to use good old fashioned words myself.

[Clinton]

LD = Long Distance

[Wiseman2]

Are either of you seeing local people? It sounds like he would like to get together now and then when convenient. Is this arrangement of hotel meet ups with an ex holding you back?

I was LD with my ex. I told him my kids were staying with their dad in 2 weeks for 5 days, he told me where he'd be (about a 90 min drive from me) told me which hotel and that he'd love to have me there if it could happen.

[DancingFool]

"sex wasn't mentioned" .....are you serious? OK maybe it wasn't mentioned explicitly in those words, but come on, he was asking you to spend the night at his, wanted to get you drinking and you don't see that he was looking to get laid, just that you shot him down? He was and is hoping for a booty call. Last night might have failed, but he sure seems to be priming you for another time. Sorry, he is not looking to get back together if that's what you are thinking, the only things he brought up is how to get you into his bed temporarily. Yeah, he brought up sex in many different ways, what he didn't bring up is relationship.

[Elliejayde]

"sex wasn't mentioned" .....are you serious? OK maybe it wasn't mentioned explicitly in those words, but come on, he was asking you to spend the night at his, wanted to get you drinking and you don't see that he was looking to get laid, just that you shot him down? He was and is hoping for a booty call. Last night might have failed, but he sure seems to be priming you for another time. Sorry, he is not looking to get back together if that's what you are thinking, the only things he brought up is how to get you into his bed temporarily. Yeah, he brought up sex in many different ways, what he didn't bring up is relationship.

 

That's the issue. I had an op about 10 days ago to remove non cancerous cysts. It's something I have done every 2/3 years, so had it twice during our relationship. Because of this, I CANT have sex for 6/8 weeks until the burning has healed. He knows this, he's well aware of it. (He also knew before we met up last night!)

[Elliejayde]

Are either of you seeing local people? It sounds like he would like to get together now and then when convenient. Is this arrangement of hotel meet ups with an ex holding you back?

 

Neither of us are seeing anyone else. I've given up dating for the next few years until my children are older.

[DancingFool]

That's the issue. I had an op about 10 days ago to remove non cancerous cysts. It's something I have done every 2/3 years, so had it twice during our relationship. Because of this, I CANT have sex for 6/8 weeks until the burning has healed. He knows this, he's well aware of it. (He also knew before we met up last night!)

 

I'm sorry but you are assuming that he paid attention, remembers or is taking the no sex for long seriously.

 

The thing that you should focus on is that he never brought up actually getting back together. Don't go by innuendo, hope, and assumptions. If you really want him back, then ask him directly about what he is seeking from this and if he says anything other than an enthusiastic "yes! I really want our relationship back, will you take me back", it's a no and you should block him and forget him.

 

Inviting you to share hotel rooms is not relationship speak. Sorry.