Advice on breaking NC to send an ecard to my ex for her birthday

[Dave jones192]

Hello everyone,

I need some advice.

I broke up with my ex 1.5 years ago, I begged and cried etc and did all the things you shouldnt do and inevitably pushed her further away, and she has asked for no contact which I have now accepted and respected. It is her birthday coming up and I wonder if I should send an e-card, nothing intrusive, no present and no messages of love and getting back together, but just a simple e-card with wish you are well.

 

I genuinely just want to wish her well on her birthday, and will definitely not mention any relationship talk. I do admit there is a small part of me that wants to let her know she is in my thoughts though. But also I want to respect her wishes with continuing NC.

 

Anyway, what do you guys think, send or dont send.

[Tanzi]

What is the point? She asked for no contact and if she hasn't reached out to you in that time then she is happy to continue with no contact. She's moved on. Why drag her backwards?

 

DON'T SEND. I doubt you'll hear anything other than that.

[Limiya]

Nope. Don't send one.

No contact means NO CONTACT. That's no cards, no emails, morse code, nothing.

 

I know you want her to acknowlege your existence in some way, even if it's a birthday card. But trust me, it will do you no favours. I doubt she'll be in a rush to send you a card for your bday or xmas.

[jujusamples]

Don't do it, there's not point! She asked for no contact and sending a birthday e-card is considered as contact. You will feel very hurt all over again if she doesn't respond to your card with anything. Not worth the risk.

[Ms Darcy]

You broke up a year and a half ago?! Time to move on.

[SherrySher]

I know you are not over this yet and are still wanting to express your well wishes and somehow hold onto a possible thread in her life in doing so, but I am not sure that it will be the best thing to do as it could possibly set you up for more pain should it not be received well and even if she said something in reply, it would give you a false sense of hope that she might still be reaching back.

Losing someone in a relationship is difficult as it is a type of mourning. It takes time for the heart and mind to accept that they are gone. As difficult as it is, the best thing you can do for yourself is to accept this and to let go as much as possible to the point where you can allow yourself to let someone else in.

You can't ever replace someone, but it is healthy to move on and find a new relationship with someone else who will care back for you as much as you do them.

I do wish you well, I know how tough it can be.

[Silver star]

I've just had the same dilemma, but I only split 3 weeks ago and in the end I sent a text message that just said Happy Birthday.

Me and my ex split on mutual terms though and there was no nastiness.

 

I think perhaps after 1.5 years I would let it go. She no doubt has moved on and not sure this would be welcomed.

 

Sorry you are still suffering after such a long time.

[Heather Dawn]

Hello everyone,

I need some advice.

I broke up with my ex 1.5 years ago, I begged and cried etc and did all the things you shouldnt do and inevitably pushed her further away, and she has asked for no contact which I have now accepted and respected. It is her birthday coming up and I wonder if I should send an e-card, nothing intrusive, no present and no messages of love and getting back together, but just a simple e-card with wish you are well.

 

I genuinely just want to wish her well on her birthday, and will definitely not mention any relationship talk. I do admit there is a small part of me that wants to let her know she is in my thoughts though. But also I want to respect her wishes with continuing NC.

 

Anyway, what do you guys think, send or dont send.

 

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

 

Don't be that guy. Leave her alone.

[greta96]

Yeah...another resounding NO here.

She broke up with you, a very long time ago, and was clear about not wanting to hear from you; nor did she contact you during this time.

She has moved on, she is probably in another relationship. Leave things be and stop looking back!

[Wiseman2]

Did she contact you on your bday? No? Then don't send.

I

I genuinely just want to wish her well on her birthday, send or dont send.

[gypsybird87]

I'm sorry you're still hurting after all this time. But unfortunately, you can't say this:

 

 

I want to respect her wishes with continuing NC.

 

...and do this:

 

It is her birthday coming up and I wonder if I should send an e-card

 

 

Wanting to wish her a happy birthday means you value her happiness, yes? She has asked for no contact. So give her the gift she asked for and leave her in peace. If you feel compelled to do *something*, buy a happy birthday balloon, take it to a park and release it. Let that symbolize both your good wishes for her, on her birthday and every day, and you finally letting go of the relationship and moving on. She deserves peace and happiness. So do you. Time to let go and move on.

[M1973]

If she asked for no contact then you should respect that no matter how bad you have the desire to tell her happy birthday. Yeah it kinda sux but that's just the way it is. Hold your head up high and shine.

You can't move forward by looking back.

[PICCOLLO]

Go out and buy a card, write in it, wish her a happy birthday, seal the envelope but never send it.

 

Youre going through a hard time but if you break NC, youre back to square one.