any tips for those who like to move slow?

[TiredOfDating]

I ended things with the somewhat creepy guy for many reasons, not just because I thought he might be autistic or previously dated my twin. He was always contacting me last minute and wasn't much of a talker between dates.

 

anyway, about the same time I met him, I had began talking with this other guy. We had planned a date that I had to cancel because I was sick, then he turned around and got sick 2 days later. His kids are with their mom every other weekend, so we set up something for this past weekend. He was upfront with me 2 days before the date that he wasn't quite sure if he's ready yet, but he wanted to keep our date since we'd already had it planned, etc.

 

I guess with both of us knowing it wasn't going anywhere, no expectations, etc, made things so much more relaxed. I had a set time I had to return to pick up my son, so we both knew there'd be no hooking up. it probably ended up being the best "date" I've had in months. We are close in age, our kids are close in age. We both did school at a later age, and both want to further our education.

 

We ended the date, and both agreed we wanted to continue to see each other, but take things slowly, build a friendship first, etc.

 

so I'm looking for ideas on things to do together that don't seem so much like a "romantic" date. Where we can spend time together but not have the dating pressure.

[Wiseman2]

I would not advice no 'romantic' dates. You need some grown up time to date and cultivate a relationship. If you go straight into friendzone mode what's the point?

 

He's dating women not hanging out with the guys or his kids why sabotage this?

I'm looking for ideas on things to do together that don't seem so much like a "romantic" date. Where we can spend time together but not have the dating pressure.

[TiredOfDating]

good point. I am just trying to avoid making the mistake of coming off too clingy right off. So maybe semi romantic?

 

 

I would not advice no 'romantic' dates. You need some grown up time to date and cultivate a relationship. If you go straight into friendzone mode what's the point?

 

He's dating women not hanging out with the guys or his kids why sabotage this?

[Wiseman2]

Is there is some reason you want to push him away already?

I am just trying to avoid making the mistake of coming off too clingy right off. So maybe semi romantic?

[abitbroken]

he is wise to take it slow because of the kids. How long has he been divorced? I would accept other dates if others interest you. But in the meantime, just do grownup things, like go out to dinner, and find out what things he likes to do and do them. Get to know eachother to see if there is anything there, that's all.

 

But really - i would talk to him and say that if he's not ready to date and isn't at that point in his healing from divorce, you understand and call you when he is.

[TiredOfDating]

not at all. I really like him. Like I said, probably one of the best dates I've been on. But with him not knowing 100% if he's ready, I'm afraid if I try too hard, it's going to scare him off. I figured doing non romantic stuff would give us time to get to know each other without thinking about if it's going anywhere or not.

 

Is there is some reason you want to push him away already?

[Wiseman2]

Why don't you let him plan some dates and see what he comes up with.

I figured doing non romantic stuff would give us time to get to know each other without thinking about if it's going anywhere or not.

[Clinton]

Avoid stepping in front of fast cars.

[Leo1987]

Go to the cinema !

[TiredOfDating]

This is what I'm thinking. and maybe at one of those theaters that has food and drink or a bar. He has his kids this weekend, so we are meeting next saturday, don't know details yet.

 

Go to the cinema !

[Leo1987]

Good, go ahead and ask, if he really is into you, he will be happy to go with you.

[TiredOfDating]

Want to thank everyone for the advice. I avoided friend zoning him and we're really hitting it off. because of each of our schedules with our kids, we tend to make plans every 2 weeks. We make up for the gaps with a lot of talking in between. I also proposed that we spend one night during the week, meeting halfway between our 2 jobs to grab dinner or even just go for a nice walk in the park. We are both working on our weight and health, and I thought it would be a good way to spend time together.

 

We had our 2nd date this past saturday. He planned it. I went to his place, he made us lunch, we had some wine, we talked a lot. since I had to go pick up my son, it kept things from going TOO far. He texted me last night to tell me that I was the highlight of his weekend, and that while he was still wanting to move slowly as far as any commitment, he enjoys my company a lot. He really liked my idea of going for walks together.