6 months post breakup, receive package from ex from halfway across the country.

[justaperson569]

Context

 

We were together for nearly 3 years, lived together for 6 months.

 

 

She broke up with me about 6 months ago. I feel like a lot of it was due to the fact that she was depressed, not happy with me, her family (support) moved across the country a year before, she wanted me to move with her, I wasn't ready to leave behind my support system (family), things spiraled down real quick. I felt like she was emotionally pulling away from me so she could breakup with me, so she could move across the country.

 

Also see:

 

Anyway, I haven't really spoken to her for months, I found out she was moving away through friends but it didn't really phase me. Now I get home today and there is a package from her with just her last name and her new address across the country (about 2,000 miles away). I opened it and there are about 7 random items of mine (hoodie, sunglasses, brochures from a vacation we went on, a flashlight). There is no letter, and she just wrote her last name on the return address. Now that I look even further she sent this from town (a zip code near me) but put her new address on the return box.

 

Now my question is, why didn't she give me these things while she was in town? She spent ~$20 shipping it. She had a lot more of my things and decides to give me these things, with zero context, out of the blue, She had many of my things and I'm assuming she threw them all away, when she could have given them to me while she was here (she had a wet suit of mine, life jackets, tubes, my snowboarding jacket, paintings, frames, etc.).

 

If she didn't unpack until now, what's the point of sending me these things? I know these were in her storage and/or her car for over a year and I've been just fine living without them.

 

Honestly, looking at the package and its contents gives me a weird vibe. I feel like either a. throwing it away, or b. just sending them back (no forwarding address).

 

Do you think she was trying to get a rise out of me (I mean, I'm not lying, right now I feel sick, like when a drug you've been weaned off of comes back and you get a hit...but you know it's not good for you).

 

I do not plan on telling her 'thanks', reaching out, or anything of that matter, since there was no letter or anything attached to this, and the way she left things e.g. abandoning the life we built together without speaking to me until months later [after I was the one who reached out], at this point, I do not feel like she owes me anything, but the breakup was very immature. It could be another 'closure' item but, what? I thought we had closure months ago. Am I supposed to care? Do you think she's being vindictive?

 

My gut is telling me, she wanted me to know she moved, but who cares? Wherever you go, there you are.

 

Thanks for reading this. I just wanted to get some objective advice. Looking at the box, with her hair attached to the tape, cat hair attached to the tape, vacations we went on, and my mixed cd's from that vacation makes me feel sick.

 

I'm gonna put this package outside until I decide what to do with it. Opinions welcome.

[Wiseman2]

I would go with A. I think she just got settled/unpacked and decided on this bizarre 'closure' that she moved on literally and figuratively.

a. throwing it away

[lostlove76]

I'm confused though. You said she sent it from a town near you, not from her new town? So she sent it before moving?

 

Now that I look even further she sent this from town (a zip code near me) but put her new address on the return box.

 

Could a friend have rounded up some things she left behind and mailed them to you, and just put her info on the package?

[justaperson569]

Yeah, she sent it BEFORE moving. I thought she already arrived in her new place, but after looking at the place of origin it was from my city.

 

The thing is, she wrote my name on the box (her handwriting) and that's her hair and cat hair affixed to the tape. So it really doesn't matter if she sent it, or a friend sent it. We have mutual friends (at least 10) in this city and she could have asked one of them to give me the items.

 

But she decided to ship the items, and not the other ones, who knows if she threw them away or not, it's really not important at this point...I just wasn't expecting her to reach out or whatever this is defined as, I'll just take it literally as I got some of my stuff back, but not much of it, and I don't want my other stuff back.

 

I'm just scoping out motive but I suppose that doesn't matter either. She says she wants to be friends SOMEDAY (but I am not waiting for her, or holding my breath) but not if there are hidden agenda's e.g. trying to hurt my feelings by letting me know she's (literally/physically) moved on (which, it hurts a little--but not really, because I know in order to get what you really want in life, you need to let things go), when she could have easily just gave a friend my stuff, or asked me to go get it. Like, why this option?

[Gary Snyder]

She sent it because:

 

A) She's cleaning out her closet.

 

B) She does not want to open old wounds by contacting you.

 

I'd just put your stuff away and forget it.

[justaperson569]

She sent it because:

 

A) She's cleaning out her closet.

 

B) She does not want to open old wounds by contacting you.

 

I'd just put your stuff away and forget it.

 

You're right, it was probably best she didn't write anything, so I have no urge to write back. It was, in hindsight, kind of her to give me back my belongings, and it wasn't more or less than that, and she didn't mean more or less by it, and if she did, it doesn't really matter; not right now anyway.