Need Help Processing Thoughts

[jonny]

Hello everyone,

 

So my ex girlfriend of 1.5 years broke up with me 5 months ago. Initially she was very confident in her decision and wanted to just move on. After a month or so we started texting back and forth and we eventually met up for lunch. We had a really good time and didn't discuss the relationship at all. Then, after a few days she started acting distant for no apparent reason. In return I distanced myself and stopped initiating contact with her. After a few weeks I received a text from her congratulating me on a new job. I was moving apartments so I responded to tell her that I had things she left at my apartment and wanted to return them. She never responded.

 

I stopped initiating contact, stopped following her on instagram, and wanted to just move on with my life. I realized that from facebook that she started dating a new guy (even during our lunch meet up) 2 months after our breakup. Its been 5 months since our break up and nearly 2 months of NC and I just today received an instagram request from her. I've accepted her but I am confused what she wants. We are already facebook friends so I don't see why she wants to follow me on instagram now, especially since she is in a serious relationship. Sorry for the rambling, I am just trying to decode what is running through her mind. I miss her terribly and would love to reconcile, but if she is playing games with me, I just want to move on. Please help me process this.

[Wolfshook]

Exes can be real b*tches, I learned that it's useless to try to decode their behaviour... All that matters is moving on and leaving them in past.

[dave_1966]

You shouldn't want to reconcile, when she dumped you she had the new guy lined up most likely. Sounds a bit of a vine swinger to be honest. She's keeping you in line in case Mr New doesn't work out, which isn't very nice to be honest. It smacks a little of narcissism. Block her on instagram, and everywhere else, for you own mental well being. Block her email and number whilst you're at it, because she has not got your interests at heart.

 

If you do what I say, you will move on fast and have the mental strength to not play her selfish little games. You may even meet someone a lot better for you.

[Ms Darcy]

She's not a b- or a narcissist. She's just moved on. And perhaps the lunch made her think you guys were cool. Either way, do what's best for you and ignore.

[jujusamples]

I think breakups should not be taken lightly! That being said, I think you started being in contact with your ex too soon. You were not officially over the relationship and you ended up going out for lunch with her. The thing with breaking no contact is, it will hurt just that much more with every contact and you will be starting the grieving all over again from square 1. In order for you to fully get over this relationship and heal, you need to stick with no contact. That means, no texts, no phone calls, no social media of any kind. The reason is because this will happened. You will question everything and read into to every picture that is posted or anything that happens.It will eventually drive you insane from analyzing all those things. My advice is to stick to the no contact and work on yourself.

 

On top of all that, she already moved on. Just take it at that and you should focus on moving on yourself. What I mean by moving is, to work on yourself. Take the time, reflect on the relationship for what it is and leave as a memory you once had with her. It is in your best interest at this point to stick to no contact. You are not over your ex or the relationship for you to be in contact with her. It is a dangerous road, especially when you still have feelings for her and want to reconcile. Save yourself the heartache and try to let it go.