Funny story about a red flag! (I see it now)

[theanongirl89]

Hey guys!

 

Almost seven months after my BU, 3 months NC.

 

I wanted to share this funny story because I started laughing all alone while I was taking a shower. This is about a HUGE RED FLAG I didn't see then, but I see it now! The thing is I remembered that on last November, I was working and he was on his master's degree in class. He sent me a text and I will try to recreate the conversation:

 

"Baby, love of my life, would you want to dinner with me tonight?" (Take notes: we haven't seen each other on a week and a half. I was used to not seeing him, he never had time.

 

I was in shock. "Are you serious??? Do you want to have dinner with me???" I was on the verge of tears.

 

He answered "Yeah I wanted to have dinner with you!!! See you after class? Would you wait for me an hour?"

 

Definetly, I was crying of pure happiness and emotion (this makes me cringe so much right now. I'm so ashamed...) "Oh god yeah of course, are you serious?? Do you want to, like, have real dinner with me?"

 

He knew he got me and with arrogance he responded "Sure, we haven't seen each other in a while and I after clearing my schedule tonight, after class, we can meet and have dinner." I didn't realize he was throwing me a bone to nibble (I don't know if in English you use this phrase...). Clearing your schedule?! WHAT SCHEDULE?! YOU'RE A STUDENT FOR GOD'S SAKE. A student for SCRIPT WRITING. He didn't do anything else with his life. He didn't have homework. He had classes from monday to thursday, from 5 pm to 8 pm. And that's it. No sports, no nothing. But he was too busy to spend time with me, because you know, after classes he had to meet with his classmates and his new girl friend to drink something. Networking for sure (sarcasm).

 

So I was literally crying because it was the first time he made plans for us and I felt wanted and I felt that he wanted to spend an hour with me. That meant he loved me for sure!! (yikes!!! so much yikes right now).

 

 

I didn't see it then as a red flag, but guys, if your loved one of FIVE YEARS asks you to dinner after you haven't seen each other in a week and a half, and you start CRYING because is the first time he asks you to go to McDonald's and do something together for an hour, RUN. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN FROM THAT RELATIONSHIP. If is your crush or your 3rd date, well, I guess that's great, it means he or she cares! But if it comes from your long long term partner, guys, there's something wrong. You can't be crying because he wants to spend an HOUR with you. That means you never spend time together and you're so used to it, that you feel shocked whenever he initiates something to see you or make plans.

 

I feel so stupid now, but I think it's pretty funny. I can laugh about it now! It's a huge red flag and I didn't see it.

 

I hope this made you laugh at my naivety.

 

Hugs!!!!!!!

[limichelle]

Hahaha

 

Yeah hindsight is a funny thing when you start to pick up on those red flags. One red flag I keep thinking about with my ex and I we had been together ten years before breaking up. On our third year of dating things got serious and we both briefly mentioned getting married. Well I went to dinner at his parents house and his mom got in my face and told me to back off on talking about marriage.

 

I confronted my ex and he said this " Well, somebody had to tell you so it's best it's by my mom."

Mind you he and I both talked about marriage for a brief part of conversation. The fact he had to go to mommy is a giant red flag!

 

The same patterns continued with his mother getting involved.

 

 

I laugh about it now, like you do. Because it is funny what we overlook.

 

Love sure is blind.

 

Lisa

[Gary Snyder]

I agree..... if he showed you so little romance that him asking you to dinner was a surprise, you should be glad you got out of that relationship. Women need romance ( a lot of guys too!).

[shamona]

Why do we settle for so little..?

[boltnrun]

Yeah, I got all happy because my ex (then "boyfriend") texted me "Happy VD" on Valentine's Day. Like it was some huge declaration of eternal love or something. Then I found out he'd sent that exact same text to his other girlfriend. At the same time he sent the text to me. Epic fail lol.