Missing the love of my life!

[eschauer29]

Hey all! I need some advice! Long story short, I met the most amazing woman back in October of 2016 who I worked with. We started off as friends but it developed into the most incredible love I could ever have imagined! I am a recovering alcoholic and she knew that and I was 7 months sober. The death of my moms 2 year anniversary was coming up and I made a horrible decision to drink and was ashamed to tell my then girlfriend I was struggling and she gave me plenty of chances but now I lost her. It was a huge mistake, and I sent her the most beautiful apology letter after 4 months of no contact. Literally the day after she responded to my email saying that she doesn't blame me, and it was a shame that things turned out the way they did and that she's heard I'm healthy, happy and sober and that's all she wanted! She said she's forgiven me and knows what it was like when her brother passed, and hopes that I forgive her for hurting me as well. So... That was over a month ago. I sent a short email back telling her there was nothing to forgive her for, she was only trying to help me during my stupid relapse and asked if she'd like to hang out for coffee sometime.It's been since June and no response. Today July 30th is her bday so I sent her just a short text saying happy birthday lady! Still nothing. I've moved forward and am better than ever and am concentrating on just myself. But my feelings for her continue to grow more and more... She's extraordinary and all I want is to just talk to her again. I need some advice without looking like a total puss you know? I'm trying to play this as rational as possible but am at a stand still. Thought?

[ThatwasThen]

Your feelings for her shouldn't continue to grow and grow when you haven't been in her company and she hasn't responded to your further attempts at reconciling.

 

If you are serious about your recovery then you will actually concentrate on your sobriety and be going to AA meetings or personal therapy to help keep you on the right path. Any recovery counselor will advise you to stay out of any relationships until at least one year of sobriety so let this girl go from your thoughts and REALLY concentrate on just yourself for now.

 

When you're well confident about staying away from the alcohol and when you're helped to come to terms with the deep issues of your alcoholism, then and only then start looking for a romantic partner.

 

Continue on the journey to being the best you that you can be. You've made amends to her and AA will teach you to let go of any expectations attached to that apology.

 

Good luck going forth one day at a time.

[toxigon]

Dude ur confused of what to do, this means u didn't heal yet, look if u have enough balls to control ur self, dont push and be patient, take it slow, treat it as a new relationship and try to have minimum hope and expect nothing, start fresh never mention the past be funny and impressive.

 

The larger ur balls the more she will want u, let it be her idea to be with u.

 

Source: lost the love of my life following my guts instead of growing balls.

[alldaisies]

I believe people here have given you very good advices, keep yourself sober, focus in you and feeling well. Do not call her or write back to her anymore. If she wants you and if she love you or is interested in you, she will call you back or write back to you. And if she does that, you have to be there, like the man she loved in past. Do not bring anymore the past or the mistake you made. Keep yourself strong and healing. Be patient, she will write back.