Really like a guy who I will not see for a while

[rosej375]

I recently went on a vacation with several families. I developed a crush on an incredibly sweet guy that is 3 years older than me (he's 19). Unfortunately, he lives in across the globe (around 9,000 miles) away from me, and thus I don't see him too often. I don't find many guys that I really like, but when I do I fall hard for them and for a long time. I start to crush on guys by just watching them and not really interacting with them which is kind of stupid, but I saw how sweet he was with his mom and with the other younger kids. I also saw that he always said thank you, and just helped everyone in general. I sent a friend request to him on facebook but cancelled it because I thought I looked creepy. I also requested to follow him on Instagram with a couple other girls, but he has not accepted yet. I mega stalked his facebook (I know it sounds creepy and I guess it is). Anyways, it seems like he has a lot of girls in his life, but idk if he is dating any of them (from what I can see I don't think so). Anways, during the vacation we made a lot of random eye contact, and we talked occasionally. We went on a cruise, and he mostly stayed in his room. But, when we did see each other, we talked and even danced a little bit together. Our dads are really good friends, so there is a chance I'll see him again. I just want to know how to get rid of these exceptionally strong feelings cause I can't stop thinking about him even though we haven't spoken since the vacation. He is taking up my mind, and my time because of all the stalking I have been doing. Thank you!!

[Andrina]

Don't become media friends. It'll only end in frustration. Long distance relationships are hard enough for established couples, let alone someone who is only an acquaintance. He would actually be breaking the law by being your boyfriend. You'd need to be 18 for that to be legal. You two live too far apart to ever be anything. Since he mostly stayed in his room on the cruise, it's doubtful he felt the same way about you. When you date locally, you actually get to enjoy having fun together in 3D, instead of pining away for a pen pal. Just because you don't like anyone locally right now, the new school year is starting and it'll be a good chance to be around some new faces. Take care.

[Wiseman2]

He may not want to mess with a 16 y/o and his dad probably supports that notion. Date local guys about your own age so you have a bf rather than a distant crush.

 

Fantasies are easier than real life but they can inhibit dealing with real things or perhaps mask that real things aren't so great?

3 years older than me (he's 19). Our dads are really good friends, so there is a chance I'll see him again.

[saluk]

You are still figuring out what is attractive to you and the kind of qualities you may be looking for in a mate. This, plus all of the hormones, are why you tend to crush hard, because you just discovered this new thing that you like. That doesn't mean that these guys you fall for quickly are the right guy for you, but it is helpful for you to learn what you like. You saw this guy in particular in a certain context where those qualities were made apparent. But how many local dudes may also be kind with their mothers and playful with other kids? But you would never see that because you don't see them in that situation! Dating is about learning who someone is in those different contexts, and you may be surprised by what you find out. Falling in love - real love - has nothing to do with seeing someone from afar and letting your feelings control everything. It's about doing something new with someone you thought you had pegged, and finding those new depths that you may not have expected or known you were looking for.