Having feelings for your Best Friend

[Itwas]

I'll try to keep this as brief and detailed as possible. I met my girl best friend in highschool and weve remained close over the years into college. Now for awhile while we were friends.. about 5 years I had a girlfriend and she was her best friend as well. Me and girl x have had nights where our significant others did something together in the past and never said anything abot it to us but I ended up finding out about it from my girlfriend and girl x being my best friend I couldnt not tell her because she had a right to know in my mind at the time. After I told her we both immediately got insanely drunk and cried the entire night together and cuddle a bit before gong to sleep but never hooked up because I was still in a relationship with my gf at the time(the one I dated for 5 years). We are both in college now.. both 22 yrs old. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend early this year(2016) and stayed friends with both of them. However me and girl x we can call her(my bestfriend) started hanging out without her around a bit more and became closer as frien perhads like we used to be back before I started dating someone. I just recently took her to a weekend party with a large group of friends and while we were there we spent alot of time away from the rest of the group hanging out and talking and then one of the days we started to kiss due to being drunk and such perhaps. but after that happened the next day we completely almost disregarded everyone else midday time and hungout alone the second day just us two all day until the sun went completely down. We were running around talking about how much we like being around each other and she said that she loved me and I said that back to her as well but we were under the influence as well during this time so Im not sure if it was a love love or just a best friend love. Also we both talked about how we wanted to be single for at least another year because it is just so much fun and so freeing. We would stop and sit in random spots and Id put my arms around her as we sat just talking about what we want to do with our lives. We eventually started walking back to the house everyone was at but everyone was on a boat or at another house and we were alone. At this point we were just walking around outside and eventually walked into this area where there was a boat and got on it and as soon as we did.. we turned towards each other and started kissing and then hooked up. Keep in mind that this girl has been like a sister to me and I had no clue this weekend was going to involve such craziness with her. Before doing the deed she basically asked am I sure we want to do this and me being a little bit more than messed up I said yes of course I do. She also said that we can never tell my ex girlfriend who happens to be one of girl x's best friends. After everything happened we ended up chilling with everyone the rest of the night outside but I got so drained from the sun I went to bed before her and when she came to bed(we were sleeping in the same room like we always have since being friends) she cuddled up next to me and it was just about the nicest feeling Ive ever had in my entire life due to girl x being basically me but in girl form. The next morning nothing was awkward we just acted like best friends as normal and had a few beers together. Anyways I am back home now and I want to hangout with her as best friends still and Id be okay with just that as cuddle buddies or friends with benefits but I don't know how that will affect us if we keep that up. I definitely don't want to ruin my friendship that I have with her now because she is one of the people I enjoy being myself around the most and hasn't judged me on my faults. I am hoping someone on here has knowledge of a similar situation and I'm just not sure what to do besides act cool and be friends still and leave it alone. Also does this seem like she loves me? idk if I'm asking a stupid question but I would like a second opinion. Holy crap that was alot if you took the time to read this then thank you and if you have feedback than that would be great too!

 

Alpha

[Almira23]

I am just going to give you some perspective on how something like this ended for me. I met my guy best friend when I was 15 years old. We both dated different people throughout highschool and didn't really give much thought about what we were. We also experienced significant others being unfaithful and we both cried to each other and kissed. Well eventually, my best friend and I also hooked up, and I have got to say that it ruined absolutely everything. What you are about to do is most likely not going to end well.

I started developing feelings for him, but he didn't like me.

Then when I finally got over him, he started to like me, but I no longer liked him.

We both exhibited the same symptoms while we liked each other at different periods. We were overly jealous, clingy, overbearing, insensitive.

When I liked him, he would lie about who we liked and who we dated to spare each other feelings. When he liked me, I would lie about the same thing. We would argue a lot.

We only hooked up once, but it caused such an impact that I almost lost him as a friend.

It took me being out of the country for 6 months and him leaving for the military for us to finally get our emotions together and act like adults and get over the situation.

Now, we are fine, strictly platonic, and we look back at everything and laugh.

This happened once. Let it go.. I don't think this will end well considering she is still friends with you ex.

[Almira23]

Friends with benefits will not work. One of you will eventually catch feelings.

[Wiseman2]

You can't unring this bell, you crossed over to lovers already. So why not take it from there?

started kissing and then hooked up. I definitely don't want to ruin my friendship