cheating ex husband

[kat3]

My husband and I divorced around 2 1/2 years ago following a 18 month separation. He and a younger female co worker were friends for about 10 years at work and when her husband cheated on her she divorced him. I believe it was around this time my husband changed towards me becoming distant and pulling back emotionally and physically , getting meaner towards me every month. He said something was missing and wanted to separate. I got a call after we did separate from her husband telling me he thought they we're having an affair. I now believe that was true. My husband was focused on being with her and withdrawing from our marriage. I finally agreed to the separation after he expressed he did not want to go to counseling and work on things. I think he was set on being with her. He would never admit to a relationship the whole time. It was confusing because he did not cut off contact with me even during the separation and divorce. He still kept seeing me for dinner and we had a physical relationship off and on thru the separation and divorce. I shouldn't have done that, but I still loved him . It was only last year when I saw her post on social media about them being in a relationship and confronted him on it. He would not admit to it, but now realize they were in one and I cut off contact with him. They married this year about a month ago and I wonder should I have contacted her and told her he had been seeing both of us for around four years, leading a double life. . I felt at the time she probably wouldn't believe me but I had all his text messages showing his invitations to come over to prove it. Should she have been given the information?

[abitbroken]

No. I would not contact her. She knew he was married and was going through a divorce. There was no "secret double life" - he was a married man with a mistress. Maybe you want to sabotage his marriage, but the best revenge is to say nothing and put them out of your life. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If they both cheated on their spouses, its only a matter of time before one of them cheats with someone else.

[Wiseman2]

No. As much as he cheated on both of you, don't bother. It will make you appear as a woman scorned and of course he will deny it and she will believe him because they just got married and she wants to. Move on and forget about them.

They married this year about a month ago and I wonder should I have contacted her and told her he had been seeing both of us for around four years.

[ThatwasThen]

I think if you and your ex husband were still having ex sex she'd care now. I doubt she would care that you were before she was married to him. She likely assumed you guys were still sexually active.

[HeartGoesOn]

No, I wouldn't stoop to their level. Be the bigger person, and let them envy you when reality hits...

[QWit]

Don't contact them. She already knew he was married. So, you wouldn't be saying anything she doesn't know. She is probably not going to care and nothing will change. It's better to just let nature take it's course.

[ThatwasThen]

and, to add. Do yourself a favor and stop creeping her social media pages. You're keeping yourself stagnated from moving on to the blissful stage of indifference to him (them). Consider this an opportunity for you to do all the things you ever wanted to do but haven't yet done. While you're doing them you may just meet a really great guy that isn't stupid enough to let down his personal boundaries low enough to allow another woman to enter and destroy his primary relationship.

 

You deserver better for yourself then creeping their life as a hobby, time tostart that journey to indifference to them.

 

 

Feel better soon.