Needing an Attitude Change

[ThoughtProcesr]

Can someone please advise me, I have a bad attitude that I want to change but I just can't seem to develop a better attitude for life. My currently my attitude is that of a gamer and if I don't game I waste my time on watching videos. I kind of want to do well but still don't put the effort and make sacrifices to improve my grades. I don't think deeply and I am not effected about the concerning things around me like doing well in my studies. I procrastinate and I leave things to the last minute, I don't have the initiative to go out and do well and pursue my passion. I am neutral on the moving train which is life.

 

The attitude that I would like to have but even though I try I still cannot achieve it. I want to have the attitude where I will work hard for my goals sacrifice everything to do well. I want to be taking initiative and doing well. I want the hunger to do well in life. I want to be positive and not procrastinate. I want to do well in life but by the way I am going I won't reach my dreams. Please share some advice.

[Gloworm]

Sell or delete your games or just keep a couple of your favorites. Try reading some selfhelp books. Do you have a bookstore nearby? Ask them about books on positive thinking/reaching goals and dreams, etc. Try amazon.com maybe and get The Procrastinators Handbook by Rita Emmett. Do you like to build, make, or fix things?? You could always become a master of a certain craft using those videos you like to watch that teach you how to do things. Working on cars, culinary/cooking, house repairs, etc. Do you have specific goals in mind?? And remember to eat healthier foods, keep hydrated, get some exercise and sleep too.

[Gloworm]

Are your friends holding you back? It may be time to branch out your circle a bit. Seek out positive role models to talk with or follow, join extra activities or clubs that might boost your self worth.

[Andrina]

I recommend the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

 

It helped me to learn how to think in a positive way and how my thoughts create the actions to achieve my goals.

 

Volunteering is always a way to get yourself out of your head, muddled in your own problems. You probably need some volunteer hours under your belt while in school. Sometimes it's a requirement. There is always joy in helping someone and I know I have good memories of volunteering in the past. I was an assistant coach for a children's soccer team, a docent at the local zoo, and I once helped in the gradual process of releasing a manatee who had been orphaned and brought to adulthood in captivity.

 

I'd give yourself a daily time limit for video games, or give them up altogether. I'd find rewards you can give yourself when you complete educational tasks. Join a club at school that involves your passion. Good luck.

[Clinton]

Sell your games. Go outside and start hiking canoeing etc. Take up a sport.

[Gloworm]

Major in computer technology and software. They make good money in some states.

[Zaphod]

I don't have the initiative to go out and do well and pursue my passion.

 

Which is what, exactly?

 

I am neutral on the moving train which is life.

 

There is no "moving train that is life". If there was, it would be that people are born and then die.

 

but by the way I am going I won't reach my dreams.

 

Well if your dream is to be a Beta Tester for a software games company then you're on exactly the right track, I'd say.

 

Do what you want. There is no set design for life. If what you're looking for is motivation, then just keep your passions alive, motivation will come naturally.

 

What are your "dreams" exactly? Might help us if we knew.

[shes2smart]

We all have varying levels of ambition.

 

I didn't truly find my ambition until I got budget cut from a job and decided I didn't want to work for someone else anymore. That's when I got off my ass and started my own business. I was in my mid-40s. I had the skill & ability to start my own business before then, but not the motivation. Having a steady, reliable paycheck made me comfortable and (frankly) lazy.

 

You don't mention what your goals are specifically or where you want to end up. What I'd suggest is figuring out the thing that really grabs you. For me the initial kick in the butt was having my income stream stopped....the idea that grabbed me was "what would it be like to not be dependent on a job working for someone else/a company for income and how do I make that happen?"

 

I think the suggestions some others made about getting rid of your games is a way of creating that "kick in the butt" to sort of force you into the next step. To do it on your own will be difficult...not impossible...but difficult. Have you ever heard people say something along the lines of, "Getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to me?" I could never understand that until I had lived it. When your easy options are taken away by factors outside of your control, you have no choice but to change and adapt. To take away those options yourself...well...you'd really need to be open to change, willing to change and start doing the work of changing. As for the "how"....it's as simple (and difficult) as this: You start doing things that are likely to take you where you want to go and stop doing things that take you away from where you want to go.

 

But that means you have to figure out where you want to go.

[BritterSweet]

Remove the sources of temptation. If you've been studying in your room where the game systems and computer are, I recommend setting a space for only studying and homework, like the kitchen table.

[ThoughtProcesr]

Sorry I wasn't specific, but besides gaming I gym, swim and play guitar. I am interested in cooking, mechanics and home improvements. My dreams are to become a mechantronics engineer and then become a entrepreuneur or just an entrepreneur. I just want to "get off my ass" and start doing well for myself. I know that I will have to face the world someday on my own but I am so used to this comfort of being reliant on my parents. I just want to be fully independent for myself.

[catfeeder]

It doesn't need to be an extreme 'all or nothing' deal. Instead of the black and white, 'on/off' thinking that says "if I'm not devoted 100% at all times, then I'm just a slug and a failure," try thinking of work and play on a gradient scale of 1 to 10. There's a lot of real estate between those extremes.

 

Successful people shoot for a balance.

 

Use the hobbies you love as an incentive to perform work rather than a means to procrastinate. Assign yourself certain goals for any given day, and when you meet those goals, give yourself some play time as your reward.

 

I did this to ace grad school: I need to complete 2 homework items on my list plus change my sheets and do the dishes--then I can play on the computer. I did this to apply for jobs: after I finish my appointment with the temp agency, I get to have a good coffee. Then I'll make 2 more appointments--and then I get to play.

 

Using fun stuff as carrots is how plenty of successful people operate. The good news is, sometimes the work becomes engaging enough to keep you focused there instead of ditching it to play--and that's how we teach ourselves passion for our work. But that's not an immediate thing. So stick to rewarding small steps before you play, and then work on adding more steps as you play a bit less.

 

Head high, you can do this.

[Wiseman2]

Is it really comfort to be lulled into complacency?

I am so used to this comfort of being reliant on my parents.

[lilypadgirl]

Hmm, I can relate somewhat. I think this attitude comes from having it too easy or comfortable in life so far due to accommodating parents. Sorry if I sound judg-y, but I feel like I had that kind of attitude in the past and it took a depression triggered by what I considered to be a failure and a lot of existential questioning to get myself past it. It's really great that you recognize the need to change now.

 

Honestly that's going to be really hard to change without an experience of some kind of existential frustration/shock - like a wake up call. Short of that, I would recommend doing some volunteer work, especially with the homeless or disabled, or getting a part-time job as the best way to see how others have to struggle and how you have to be responsible outside of your home. It would give you more appreciation for the advantages you have in life, the sweetness of earning things for yourself, and being accountable/responsible.