shirls Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 hello! i am struggling right now and would like your guys help and advice! (oh and keep in mind im 18 and from MO -- that info will help so! here's the timeline of the events that took place: my parents purchased a beautiful vacation beach home in NH for us to stay at whenever and so after they got it all perfect for us, we "moved" in there (we stayed a total of 6 weeks) the last week in may and were there all of june. while there, i downloaded an app (just for the fun of it, not expecting to REALLY meet someone but just for fun bc all of the people that i know in the New England area are family or my parents friends; so no one for me....) and at first, i barely used the app bc i was having so much fun on the beach, exploring, taking walks, and hanging with my family and family friends/relatives that were coming to see us and welcome us, etc. so, weeks went by. and by the time that i really began to get bored and wanted to meet people or just someone, everyone on the app that wasn't appealing to me. (*plus, i had made a promise to myself that no matter what, i wouldn't catch feelings bc i didn't live in NH year round so it would only be detrimental to myself; my feelings especially and possibly the guy too) to really fall for a guy who's over 1000 miles away from me for the most part..... BUT, nearing the end of our stay, i met him* (and for privacy purposes let's call him paul, haha.*) -- i had met paul. super attractive, clean cut, cute smile, in shape, warm eyes; the whole package!! (BUt, he's in his early early early 30s; age never bothered me tho..) so, we got to messaging each other only to find that the attraction was mutual and that we both wanted to meet. i included that i wasn't from NH and that i would only be up here "sporadically" throughout the year but that didn't stop us from exchanging numbers, texting everyday, getting to know each other a little more and starting to like each other's personalities and of course: flirting lots. and then we made plans to meet and we did, right outside of my house on the beach. we talked more, hugged, kissed, and we sat there cuddled up watching the ocean and the sunset. it was amazing. sadly, i knew right then and there that i had fallen for him and broken the promise i tried to make with myself about not catching feelings. i was screwed! but, anyways, we continued to text and meet up and spend time with each other. this was all done without my parents knowing what i was doing; only assuming i was just out relaxing by myself on the beach at night. so, that's kinda the truth haha... anyways, my grandma (back at home) wasn't doing too well; she's 90 btw, so just in case anything bad happened, my parents had my siblings and i pack up a bag just in case we had to fly back home. that night (my mom had went to bed early) i packed up and told my dad i was gonna go out. and instead, he argued with me accusing me of wanting to do bad things (*before this vacation, i had gotten in trouble for sneaking someone in*) the next morning my dad was still yelling at me and belittling me over the inappropriate (eye roll...) things he saw in MY conversations. it made him so mad that he said that if im still in the house when he's done walking the beach, he will kick me out until the day we left (which, at this point, was like 3 more days.) i waited until he left, and logged onto someone's phone to use my snapchat and i messaged paul* explains everything and asking if he could come get me. he said he felt sorry for me and that he would come get me and help me thru this as much as he could. i told him to come that night so that i could cool off, pack up a little and get my mind straight. unfortunately, my dad came back in and was cooled off. so, i never needed paul to get me anymore. it made me smile at how willing he was to hell me and how caring he was towards me... we were finally back home and sadly, my dad had my electronics still. he was still mad but he was cooling off. he's very dramatic and stubborn. can you tell? *sighs* anyways, paul* was all i was thinking about. i kept thinking that he prolly moved on, had a gf or got fed up w the bs that happened while in NH..... THEN, i finally got my stiff back. he's the first person i texted. and he said he missed me and wanted me to come back and he reassured me that he could never block me or not be here for me. and from then on, we were talking nonstop again, well not nonstop because he's a successful businessman, buy everyday i would wake up to sweet texts, and our convos were always fun. he booked a hotel here to see me for aug 9th-11th and gnat thrilled me!! so happy. it got more serious to the point where he TOLD me he wouldn't talk to other women like this and that sexual relations would be saved for me and he requested that i stay faithful to him as well. he said that we could work thru the distance and make it work so long as we communicate honestly and are open with each other. i kept falling for him.... things were great! well, i though they were. we kept getting to know each other and he had asked me to meet him down in FL at one point bc he had business stuff to handle and i wanted to but timing wasn't good, but we were planning other trips and talking about more serious things. and both of us couldn't wait to be reunited when August came. i had it ALL planned out lol. couldn't wait... that is....until one day, (almost a week ago, it'll be a week on sunday july 25) he just didn't respond to my texts even tho we had just finished having a great convo that night before. i waited a day, sadly, then asked if he was ok -- no response. i kept questioning myself and the situation but as each day went on, i thought for sure he was doing this intentionally. i checked on his Facebook, insta and snap ... Nothing to indicate he wasn't ok. then, I did what I feared would give me the answers, I downloaded the app that we met on and sure enough, his profile displayed a green dot right next to "ONLINE NOW" And under that it showed an indication of his location: Florida. my heart broke. and I'm so hurt. I feel lied to, betrayed, stupid, dumb....I'm so confused. What happened! Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 Answered in this identical thread: Link to comment
gp11a Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 he said he felt sorry for me and that he would come get me and help me thru this as much as he could. ... he booked a hotel here to see me for aug 9th-11th and gnat thrilled me!! so happy. it got more serious to the point where he TOLD me he wouldn't talk to other women like this and that sexual relations would be saved for me and he requested that i stay faithful to him as well ... he had asked me to meet him down in FL at one point bc he had business stuff to handle UMM... I'm 31 and the thought of me actively pursuing someone who was 18 with parents so involved in their life, and you aren't even from there... This guy sounds like a creep and just wanted sex/control. With you being 18 and your parents going through all of your things, I am questioning if you are younger than 18? (grounded you?) It sounds like he was grooming you in a way and was doing this as a boost to him, since he knew you wouldn't always be around where he lives. Anything that you feel like you have to lie to your parents about and sneak people around is not healthy anyways. I think this was all just infatuation from you and he is probably pursuing something else, which is understandable. This all sounds weird to me. I would not take any of this personal, or feel dumb/stupid. This just sounds like a summer crush and I think you avoided a lot more heartbreak. Link to comment
shirls Posted July 23, 2016 Author Share Posted July 23, 2016 thank you! and haha im 18, going to college in the fall. they're usually super cool and chill but ever since I snuck a guy in and all, they've been more worried about me and all which is understandable since i did up. just annoying Link to comment
shirls Posted July 23, 2016 Author Share Posted July 23, 2016 since i really did mess up by sneaking guys in lol* Link to comment
gp11a Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 Understandable. Since you haven't gone off to college yet, they're probably even more worried, haha. Just be cool, think through things, and don't get attached toooo quickly. Offering to book hotels and visiting in Florida seemed to escalate pretty quickly for someone you just met from far away and who is 10+ years older than you. Lots of local guys your age in college! No loss here. Link to comment
shirls Posted July 23, 2016 Author Share Posted July 23, 2016 thanks!! appreciate the advice and all Link to comment
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