Dumped twice by same person

[Sayasaya]

Hello guys.. Im in a lesbian relationship with my ex for 4 years. We were so happy back then, we lived together for 3 years plus. She dumped me twice. When she first dumped me she said because of how my family treated her. They were not welcoming to her because they dont accept me to be in this kind of relationship. And then after few months she started dating other people. Different men and women.

 

I then started NC. Starting to be so active in sports and finally became one of the national athletes, going out with friends and travel a lot. Posted on my social medias every good times I did. Changed my relationship status into in a relationship.

 

My ex started to make contact again every 4-5 months. Everytime she texted I show no interests. She showed up at public places I go, especially gym and my workplace. After two years playing the pushing and pulling we got back together, she even dumped her current gf for me. Only after 5 months she dumped me again. This time she said I broke her heart for saying hurtful things to her. She said she cannot forgive me and even blocked me on the phone and social medias. After few months she is with someone new. A lot of friends said they bumped into her and her bf. Her status in instagram also is all about her madly in love with this new guy. I mean, what happened? How can what we had just disappeared just like that. I put my hopes high for the second time around. I thought she'd never leave me again this time. I was wrong and devastated.

 

It's been a year now. I know I have to forget her , I wanted to. I love her with all my heart but I'm having hard to time to like/love other people. When she first dump me I tried to date other people few times, I dont feel anything. It feels like I'm lying to myself if I were to be with other people that I cant connect with or have feelings for. I dont want my next relationship to a rebound. What if this person fall hard for me and i cant love her/him back. I dont wanna hurt anybody. Unlike her, she can always find somebody to fill the void or I don't know if it's love she's feeling. I dont know.. 😞 I feel useless.

[nihongo]

She's seems like a mess running around from relationship to relationship and that's not healthy. You, on the other hand, are taking this time to reflect and grow. It seems like you were doing well getting into sports, traveling etc so you should get back to that and eventually you'll be ready to date again.

[Sayasaya]

Thanks for the respond nihongo. Appreciate it. I havent gotten out of my room lately, I didnt come to trainings for more than a month now. Most of the time I just go to work and come back home. But I'll be going for eurotrip on october, which I hope helps me ease my mind.

 

Few weeks ago I received a silent call from an unknown number, when i said hello no one answered but I can hear someone's breath. I stayed silent for few seconds then that person hung up. And after few days I received a text message saying "morning dear, whatsapp me." which is also from an unknown number. I dont know but my instinct is telling me that its her. She blocked me on her whatsapp and phone btw. Or it can also be a coincidence, who knows.

 

Had her brother and sister contacted me last week.

[luisannalui]

Okay, what I'm understanding is that this post is about you but not her. She is an unstable person that doesn't know what she wants. She used your family as an excuse to end the relationship than for someone else. She jumps from one relationship to another. That's not bueno. Focus on you, NC, avoid her at all cost, or you know what will happen. I happen to believe that the first time is your fault the second will be mine. You don't need to be in a relationship to focus on yourself, let that just happen. When the time comes, you'll find that person. But I do feel that right now is time to focus on you.

[Sayasaya]

Okay, what I'm understanding is that this post is about you but not her. She is an unstable person that doesn't know what she wants. She used your family as an excuse to end the relationship than for someone else. She jumps from one relationship to another. That's not bueno. Focus on you, NC, avoid her at all cost, or you know what will happen. I happen to believe that the first time is your fault the second will be mine. You don't need to be in a relationship to focus on yourself, let that just happen. When the time comes, you'll find that person. But I do feel that right now is time to focus on you.

 

Thanks for your input luisannalui. I guess NC is the best for me cause at this phase I feel like I can't seem to let go It just hurt knowing that shes happy with someone else like what we had was nothing to her, i am easy to replace. While me on the other hand think everything were the best thing that ever happened to me and meant a lot since 2008. I have never felt like this for anyone. I still love her though she put me in a lot of pain, like nothing can fade my love for her away. Everyday I am feeling so lonely and miss her, this kills. That's the thing, perhaps love is putting others' happiness before you. Gonna try to be patient, I have no other options. I need to find that happy ME again.

 

This is my first thread btw, I used to read a lot from this site but never try to post anything. At least I know I'm not the only one who is going through this, and so that I can tell everyone out there who's dealing with the same heartache that they are not alone too. *Hugs* I think it is somehow easier to vent here.

 

Thank you guys..

[ThatwasThen]

Only after 5 months she dumped me again. This time she said I broke her heart for saying hurtful things to her.

Why did you say hurtful things to her? What made you do that? Was she being a bad partner so you called her out on it or what?

[Sayasaya]

Why did you say hurtful things to her? What made you do that? Was she being a bad partner so you called her out on it or what?

 

Okay I try to make the story short. I went into a lot of fight with her when she and her ex(the one she left me for) went for a trip together to neighbour country. This ex she lives with after she broke up with me for the first time on the same house that we rent together previously.

 

She said she can't cancel that trip because they have purchased tickets before she got back with me. Her sister is coming too, so she don't want to disappoint her. During that trip we did texting back and forth but I feel like I can't trust her. We had a fight and she said she's going to kill her self if I'm going to start pressuring her. After she came back from the trip I can't relax, I kept thinking something might have happened during the trip, like did she slept with her ex during that trip. How do I know if she's lying or hide something? Until one day we had a fight again I said things out of anger. I mentioned about her self respect. She said she cannot take it anymore and put an end to our relationship. I did apologized and explained that I didnt mean things I said. I gave her space, she contacted me after 2 weeks of NC. She sent me a quote saying "eventhough I'm not talking to you, doesnt mean I dont think of you." We constantly texting each other every week maybe 2-3 times. Went out with her few times to movies, lunch, dinner, hang out at coffee shop. I thought if I do things right she would forgive me and be with me again. She texted me on whatsapp one day and I didnt reply her for two days. She thought I blocked her on my whatsapp which I did not. I tried to text her from a friend's phone and boom! Her profile photo was her with a guy. She changed her ig name to her name and that guy.

[ThatwasThen]

She's not worth your emotional angst. Going on a trip with an ex is disrespectful and wrong. She should have let her sister go with him and she stay home with you. She can't be trusted so that is why you don't trust her.

 

Keep doing your sports and activities with friends and block and delete her from all social media so that you can get her out of your head and on the way to indifference to her.

 

You deserve better then her and how she is.