Would you have problems to consider this girl like ltr material?

[geridol]

We've known each other for two years and we've been starting something (seeing eachothers and sleeping together) for four months.

I like her really. I liked her as a person also before, when we were just friends, and she has always captured my attention. She is kind, nice, with a lot of common interests. She's good with people, she is sunny, she makes me laugh, she is smart. She is a strenght of nature, a really beautiful and rare person. I like beeing with her, she makes me feel good like I never felt. And the sex is incredible. We have an harmony that I've never had with anyone else.

She told me she would like to be more serious because she likes me and she is becoming attacched to me. And I started to think that it's hard to think about a future with her, because of her past.

In this two years I've known her, she is always been single. Instead I've been in a relationship for a year. She enjoyed her single time a lot, but this is not the problem. I have the opinion that if you are single you can do whatever you want. I enoyed my single time too, more then she did. The problem is that i know people she had sex with, "one night stand" or "fwb relatioship", however nothing serious, just sex or other things. Some of these people are acquaintances, two of them are my big friends (me and this girl live in a small town and we go out in the same social cirlce).

This thing block me a lot and I don't know how to go beyond it, and if I ever will. This makes me feel sorry because I think that I will never meet someone like her. I'm not afraid of cheating, I know her and I know that if she is in relationship she is faithful at all. I'm afraid of people judjment, I can't accept to hear stories or voices of her past. I have to interact with locals that had sex with this girl. I had sex with several locals too, but she doesn't know because it happened before we known each others.

What do you think?

[Wiseman2]

If she is your dream girl go for it and forget the past. You were young and single once she was young and single once, so? Now you are together focus on that. Think of the future not the past.

I had sex with several locals too, but she doesn't know because it happened before we known each others. What do you think?

[ParisPaulette]

I think you need to back out now BEFORE you break her heart over a past you were neither a part of and she cannot change. Learn to stop judging people so harshly, because yes you are. You also had sex with other people, so why is it your situation is "different." Would you be okay with her judging you for that?

 

Neither of you should be judged for having a sexual past. And yet this is what you're doing to her before you've even made things official so just walk away now. That you may not meet anyone else like her is irrelevant when you're already doing the whole, "Well, this person is all I can get, so I guess I just have to grit my teeth and be okay with it."

 

I wish I could be more positive and have some tips for you, I really do. But I have yet to ever see anyone come to this forum or into my life with this dilemma and not just see it get worse and worse with time, because it's really only something you can fix inside of you since this particular type of upset is yours and yours alone. It's not what your potential interest did in the past that is the issue, it's how you choose to judge or not judge her and to deal with it that counts.

[Sportster2005]

It it bothers you this much now, it always will.

 

The question becomes can you live with it. It doesn't matter what other people can live with, it only matters what you can live with.

[HeartGoesOn]

I'm afraid of people judjment, I can't accept to hear stories or voices of her past. I have to interact with locals that had sex with this girl.

 

Well, hopefully you realize that you're adding yourself to the list of people whom you're now judging. In short, if you're unable to accept her for who she is, and not her past, it's time to make an exit and set her free.

[tracyis300]

Don't be so quick to judge? How about you tell her about your past and let's see if she would think about you the same way you think about her?

If this is such a wrinkle, then don't date her. Because if you really wanted too? Then all that would matter is that she will be with you and you will be with her.

But really? Tell her about your past if you really want to make things work with her.