Need advice about a guy sending mixed feelings

[afrobeauty]

MY STORY

 

Here's my story on how all this started. I met this guy at my job, he's 20, and I'm 19. At first he would always help me out with my work if he saw I needed assistance, then it carried on when it was just us two and he asked me out to Starbucks. I kindly told him I wasn't free, and he didn't get upset. This quickly changed. So a few nights later, I'm laying bed and I'm thinking about him suddenly. Why? I couldn't help myself but to think why did I turn him down. The next morning, I went in search for him at work, and told him that I missed him, and he looked at me shocked and responded "Really? Hold up, let me get your number!" We exchanged numbers. He even told others that he likes me, but then another he says I'm a cool person. Happy right? Wrong. The first time we text, it was amazing. He showed me all his tattoos, he was having a conversation with me. As time progressed, he's been boring, send one messages and hardly ever text me first.. Recently, one day he sent me a text message and he simply put and I quote:

"I think we should stay friends for awhile because I don't have time to be able to spend with you how a normal boyfriend would, just at least til I can get my life together I don't want to bring someone else down in my life and drag them through the current hell I am going through."

 

I was in shocked. I kept thinking to myself, was it something I said, something I done? I knew I had to stop thinking about myself and put myself in his shoes. He recently stressing over financial crisis and his car being in the shop. I took a few steps back and let us be friends, but how can I be friends with him and my feelings are only growing stronger? Ever since he sent that text,

he ignores me, he doesn't act the way he was before, like I'm not even here anymore.. Another pointer, he might be closet gay. Yes, closet gay. He's always talking about s, ( I don't know if guys usually talk about that!) He's always touching on other co-workers from behind, singing and dancing. People assume he's gay but I don't want to assume as well. He's always on my mind, I don't want to come off as needy or desperate, my head is spinning from so much confusion. I just need some advice on how to fix this.

 

Here's a twist, so I think this other guy likes me. I caught him staring at me multiple times, and he's always standing as close as possible to me. Should I talk to him, get to know him? Could this be a possibility he likes me?

 

And to all who patiently read this, thank you. I have no friends to talk to this about so it sucks, but really thank you.

[Wiseman2]

I would go with this guy and get to know him. The other guys sounds too flaky, no?

I think this other guy likes me. I caught him staring at me multiple times, and he's always standing as close as possible to me. Should I talk to him, get to know him? Could this be a possibility he likes me?

[ParisPaulette]

Guy A is not interested. He told you he wasn't and he isn't. The whole "My life is too crazy" is simply an excuse, it just sounds nicer than "I'm not attracted to you, okay?" And that really is what it boils down to, because if someone is massively attracted to you and they want something with you they will crawl across broken glass to make it happen.

 

So accept this is over, it's done, move on and date other people. This guy could not have made his lack of interest in anything serious with you plainer.

 

There's nothing to be confused about, so yes you should be out exploring other options with someone who will simply invite you in to enjoy the insanity of their life it's all insane. When I met my husband we were dating briefly when my mother fell ill and a few different things were all over my plate. I didn't tell him it wouldn't work out, I warned him I was dealing with X Y and Z and if he wanted there was the door but I hoped he wouldn't go. He didn't.

 

Unless they tell you some variation of that everything else is just them trying to let you down easy, because they just aren't interested or interested enough. Be glad he didn't waste your time and keep looking. You deserve someone who is all in like you and anything else is a waste of time and self-sabotage of your own happiness.

[Zippy2000]

With the first guy. Guy A, he got bored maybe becuase things werent developing between you two or you didnt give him the green light to go ahead to ask for a date. There is nothing in you post to show you went on a date. People loose interst over time if nothing happens. relationships need to develop.

 

At least Guy A had the decency to give you a reason. A lot of people just fafe or ghost.

 

Guy B. Just becuase someone is glancing in your direction doesnt meanrthey like you. If you want to explore the options with guy B. I d say talk to him and see if there is anything there. Ive looked at women before as I was curious about them but i didnt fancy them.

 

With Guy B. I d probaly text a couple of times and then agree on a date, Too much Texting can also be a turn off.

[afrobeauty]

@ParisPaulette Yes, I thought the same. If he was going through hell, he would make effort into making this work. We went on ONE date and I couldn't believe he tried to get me to sleep with him! I refused because I clearly explained I'm a lady and he needs to respect that! Maybe this is where he lost interest.. You're right, I need to accept that this was nothing more than a crush, and if when he matures, he knows where to find me.

 

@Zippy2000 Guy A is probably confused. He doesn't know what he want and I can't force anything. Guy B on the other hand, I'm not sure about him. We don't speak at all. Guy A and B both talk to each other briefly. I have a feeling Guy A doesn't want me talking to Guy B... My gut from day one has told me that there's something about him.