Nearly 3 Months After Breakup - I'm Moving On - UPDATE

[Marco311]

Most of my story is here if this is old news or too long, but I thought I would update folks on some recent events, and perhaps what I went through can help you.

 

Dated for about 7 months. Been 3 months of no contact. Since the break up, I have simply surrounded myself with friends, family, and tons of exercise. Running, gym, etc. I joined a new gym, with frequent classes that has introduced me to new people, coaches, etc. I enjoy the social aspect of these workouts, since it consists of a dozen or so like-minded people who are all there to support you, cheer you on, and encourage you.

 

I took a ton of time to self-reflect and journal about my last relationship. I wrote in my journal almost every day for 2 months straight. I even began seeing my old therapist from time to time and really tried to reestablish that relationship with the most important person I know: myself. To get down to the nuts & bolts of it all: I clearly was not in a happy place, even prior to getting in to this relationship. I mostly used it as an escape. Mainly because the sex was amazing, and I can use sex to mask or hide how I'm really feeling. (Common sex-addict behavior). And even though I did love her and was definitely broken up about the end of our relationship, I realize she wasn't just part of my life; for 6 months SHE WAS MY LIFE. It takes two to tango, and she definitely was far from perfect. She hardly opened up to me, but that was how co-dependent our relationship was with each other. It was then so very clear on why, after we had no more TV shows or movies to binge watch, the relationship ended. There just wasn't a ton of substance there. For one reason or another.

 

That good news is I'm truly starting to love who I am, I know I am worthy of love, and even though I still miss my ex from time to time, I think about her less & less, and realize I am not the one to blame for its failure. I tried. I did my best. Time to move on.

 

On top of all this, I'm feeling good, just got an amazing new job that will have me moving back east, and I couldn't be happier and more confident about the decision. At first I was worried (as well as my friends out here in CO) that I was running away from a failed relationship, but I can confidently say now, that is not the case. This is clearly the right move, I feel amazing about it, and It's funny how life can work. I don't tend to believe in fate, but sometimes, things really do happen for a reason.

 

I am coming out of this a much more stronger,more grounded person, and I can't stress this enough; breakups really can be a time for anyone to look inside themselves and really discover who they are, what they want, and how to rise from the ashes a better person. Still plenty of work to do, but I know I will be OK. Cheers to those who helped me through this ordeal, and best of luck to anyone experiencing similar troubles.

 

You are lovable just the way you are, trust me. You will make it.

 

-M

[reinventmyself]

Such a great update and perfect timing Marco.

Here now in the throws of a break up.

I have been here before though and I do know what it's like on the other side, much like you describe.

It's hard to be patient. It's hard to push through and do the hard work. The relief never, ever comes fast enough.

Cheers to you and your new job.

Thanks for the post. It made me smile!

[gypsybird87]

What an awesome post! Thank you for sharing!

[Lightjocj]

An upbeat postive post..gave me and im sure alot more people on here hope, hope that time and work will ease the pain. I like what you said...SHE WAS MY LIFE.. I think alot of us felt that way about are exes...thanks for sharing