How to deal with this behavior?

[theanongirl89]

i guys! You always give me great advice.

 

It's been more than 6 months that my ex left me after 5 years for someone else, and I'm getting better each day! (I don't go to their social media in more than one month and a half, NC with him since May...)

 

I'm doing all the right things to get over this as soon as I can. I recieved a call from a private phone number and I picked my phone up because I was waiting for a call from my phone company (which calls usually come as "private number"). When I said "Yes?" the other person, a woman, told me "You're a ". And then hung up. I KNOW she was the one who called me. I went to her social media to do some research after that call, and she was posting things like "I'm not your enemy, but don't make me one" or "A tiger never loses sleep over the sheeps opinions", or "your eyes maybe green, but they're ugly af, as you're sad, and lonely". . I didn't cyber stalked them, I stopped ALL the contact and he was the one who contacted me the last time we talked. I blocked him from everywhere since then, and I had her block like... before he dumped me for her.

 

So I don't know. How do I deal with this? I won't go to her social media again, but I wanted to make sure that she was the one who called me. Why is she acting this way??? Why does she want to cause drama even after six months?? she's posting about me and them all the time. She can't let go of me, it seems. I don't really mind that she posts about me, but she CALLED me, and that's taking harassment a step forward.

 

Why is she acting like this??? I don't want to know anything about my ex, I haven't contacted him, we don't talk anymore. I mean, I did nothing to her or to him. You can read all my social media and I only talk about Star Wars or new books I'm reading! I never post sad quotes or songs... Why do you want to keep ruining a life? She already did enough. Is she insecure or something???

 

How do you deal with this kind of people? Consider that I never talked to her, I don't stalk her anymore, I don't even think about her anymore... She's a stranger to me but she only talks about me and how ugly I am, how my blonde her must be bleach for sure... She only talks about my appereance. I don't let her get under my skin, but I admit that she made me doubt about myself, wondering if I'm really that ugly. She only wants to bring me down. She only posts about that, and how much she doesn't care about me and my opinions (I never said nothing about her... I don't know how many lies is he telling her. I did tell him she was only seeing him as a trophy, but that's it).

 

Any advice on this??

 

Thanks in advance, good people.

 

 

PS: BELIEVE ME, IT GETS BETTER.

[jujusamples]

I really feel bad for you! His new girlfriend is obviously jealous of you. Since you dated him for 5 years, she's intimidated that she can't live up to that. You and your ex has so much history compare to what she has with him. As I could see, he broke up with you for her? They are the ones in the wrong here. You are not doing anything wrong. Ignore her. She's insecure not you! The more you don't react, the better. She just wants a reaction from you. Then she will pick at it if you do react. These people are not worth your time and energy. Yes, it is consider harassment, if you know for sure if she's the one that called. A tad on the cyber bulling side as well, if she's calling you ugly and all that mean stuff. Not cool!

[greta96]

Maybe it wasn't her. I doubt she is jealous of you in any way, since you were the one her current boyfriend dumped in order to be with her. Maybe the quotes you're seeing on her FB are meant for someone else. I mean, if he cheated on you with her and eventually dumped you for her, who's to say he is not doing the same to her with someone else? Plus she knows how she got him, so obviously she is suspicious and paranoid, you know what they say - you lose them the same way you get them.

 

I don't know, these are speculations. Bottom line is, you do nothing, that's what you do. Ignore any potential attempts at contact they may make. Keep your no contact and refrain from looking at his or her FB. Be glad this drama is no longer yours, and enjoy your newly acquired chance to meet a great guy, one who won't dump you for anyone else.

[Wiseman2]

What a psycho. Obviously they are not too happy. Great you blocked them. It may be a good idea to check all your privacy settings on social media.

When I said "Yes?" the other person, a woman, told me "You're a ". And then hung up.

[Iggy5129]

I know you're in NC but I honestly would just send a brief message or something to her saying "Look, I have no problem with you. It's been 6 months and I am over the situation. Focus on your relationship and leave me out of it. If I receive anymore phone calls or online harassment I am going straight to the police. I have no beef with you and would appreciate if you would allow me to live my life. Have a nice day."

 

Or something like that. Then block them as much as you can. If she continues to harass record all incidents and go to the police for a restraining order or no contact order. That should scare her into shutting up.

 

Don't be a doormat. Continue healing and remember you've done nothing wrong.

[SheGoneMan]

Funny, my ex (and her friends) did almost the same thing and I also posted a thread about it. Put the number as private and tried to prank call me. Lol. The first time they did it only a month after the breakup I just went along with their game. But the second time, as soon as I heard the giggles and the same fake name come up again I was like "pffffff" and hung up. Called again and I said I knew who they were and hung up. They called 13 more times that night before they gave up finally.

 

My advice, just ignore it. Really try your hardest to not let it get under your skin and laugh at the fact that you're still on their mind in a way.

[theanongirl89]

I know for a fact those words are meant for me, but as you all already said, I'm not doing anything wrong, actually I'm doing what I can do to get over this as fast as I can. As much as I would like to address this issue so they stop bothering me, I won't. I will keep strictly NC at all, because she's looking for a reaction from my part. She loves feuding and trash talk. I haven't said a single word, her behaviour is already doing my job, I guess.

 

I feel like I'm the adult here and they're two children laughing at me. I don't know, I never tought he could allow this.

 

And about my Instagram account, I don't know man, maybe a weird part of me wants for them to sit and watch how much I ignore them (seriously, I only post about Star Wars and books I'm currently reading...). And sometimes I post a selfie without any caption. But this is so wrong, I wish I wouldn't have this feeling that I'm being strong to show him I don't care. Believe me, I haven't said a SINGLE word to him in three months (or so, I'm not counting...), and I intend to keep NC. It's just hard knowing that I was sleeping with him and the monster inside of him. I never thought he would be capable of any of this, but he is. It's hard, really hard, but each day is a won battle. Soon I will conquer the world by winning this war inside of me.

 

Thanks for your replies and insights, they are much appreciated.

[theanongirl89]

Hi guys!

 

How's everything going for you??? I will write answers on the threads where I see I can help.

 

It's been almost a YEAR! YAY!!!

 

But first I needed to vent a little bit on the same topic.

 

I'm doing pretty great. I've been NC since May 1st! And I haven't even seen his social media!

 

It's because I truly feel I don't love him anymore. Of course I miss him sometimes and blablabla, but I'm doing pretty great (who knew. 6 months ago I thought I was going to die from this.)

 

The thing is that I was on Twitter (my favorite social media!) and I write a lot of silly stuff there. It's mostly about Harry Potter, Star Wars, and new movies or news or books that I'm currently reading. So I never write ANYTHING about my private life there. ANYTHING. I write a lot about Taylor Swift too (I love this girl since 2006). I could tell you my Twitter account but mostly I write in Spanish soooo I guess it won't be useful in this case.

 

But last week I recieved a new follower, a girl. As I don't have many followers, I clicked on her profile, as usual when someone follows me and see if they post something worthy of following. Guess what!? It was the best friend of my ex's new gf. They had pictures together, that's how I figured it out. I started laughing. They were stalking me and they hit the follow button accidentally. So I couldn't resist and went to her TW account, and it was all trash talking about me. Pathetic, I know. "Go home you stupid b*tch", "OMG Taylor Swift sucks, she's terrible" (obviously, she's writing these stuff because of me. My ex loved TS and she knows I love her too). She only tweets about me, even NOW. I mean, come one! It's been almost a YEAR dude. I don't talk to him, and I for SURE don't write ANYTHING about them. Not sad quotes, nothing personal, nada. And I never even wrote anything about her. Why would I??? It only shows lack of class and maturity. Anyway, right now I'm just curious. Why if they are so so happy as they are, she's still so angry with me? Why would she talk trash about me if she's super happy??!?!? It makes no sense. If she was the one to get hurt, I woud understand that she writes about me on her social media but being her the one that is with him, I just don't get it. She's a pretty girl, she doesn't have to be jealous of me. I truly don't see the reason why, honestly. Every tweet, and I mean, EVERY tweet, it's directed to me: the music I like, the things I do or how I dress, even my hair colour. She writes pretty mean things, but those things don't get to me. Yeah before they hurt, but right now they don't. I'm just curious why her life revolves around mine (which it's impossible that she knows something about... I had to change my FB and make my Instagram private because of her and her friends, remember?).

 

Any ideas?

 

Thank you and remember, TIME DOES HEAL.

[theanongirl89]

Hi guys!

 

How's everything going for you??? I will write answers on the threads where I see I can help.

 

It's been almost a YEAR! YAY!!!

 

But first I needed to vent a little bit on the same topic.

 

I'm doing pretty great. I've been NC since May 1st! And I haven't even seen his social media!

 

It's because I truly feel I don't love him anymore. Of course I miss him sometimes and blablabla, but I'm doing pretty great (who knew. 6 months ago I thought I was going to die from this.)

 

The thing is that I was on Twitter (my favorite social media!) and I write a lot of silly stuff there. It's mostly about Harry Potter, Star Wars, and new movies or news or books that I'm currently reading. So I never write ANYTHING about my private life there. ANYTHING. I write a lot about Taylor Swift too (I love this girl since 2006). I could tell you my Twitter account but mostly I write in Spanish soooo I guess it won't be useful in this case.

 

But last week I recieved a new follower, a girl. As I don't have many followers, I clicked on her profile, as usual when someone follows me and see if they post something worthy of following. Guess what!? It was the best friend of my ex's new gf. They had pictures together, that's how I figured it out. I started laughing. They were stalking me and they hit the follow button accidentally. So I couldn't resist and went to her TW account, and it was all trash talking about me. Pathetic, I know. "Go home you stupid b*tch", "OMG Taylor Swift sucks, she's terrible" (obviously, she's writing these stuff because of me. My ex loved TS and she knows I love her too). She only tweets about me, even NOW. I mean, come one! It's been almost a YEAR dude. I don't talk to him, and I for SURE don't write ANYTHING about them. Not sad quotes, nothing personal, nada. And I never even wrote anything about her. Why would I??? It only shows lack of class and maturity. Anyway, right now I'm just curious. Why if they are so so happy as they are, she's still so angry with me? Why would she talk trash about me if she's super happy??!?!? It makes no sense. If she was the one to get hurt, I woud understand that she writes about me on her social media but being her the one that is with him, I just don't get it. She's a pretty girl, she doesn't have to be jealous of me. I truly don't see the reason why, honestly. Every tweet, and I mean, EVERY tweet, it's directed to me: the music I like, the things I do or how I dress, even my hair colour. She writes pretty mean things, but those things don't get to me. Yeah before they hurt, but right now they don't. I'm just curious why her life revolves around mine (which it's impossible that she knows something about... I had to change my FB and make my Instagram private because of her and her friends, remember?).

 

Any ideas?

 

Thank you and remember, TIME DOES HEAL.

 

Any feedback? This morning I woke up to someone trying to follow me on my Instagram account. Someone I had dismissed before. I dismissed again.

[browser]

Ignore and block.

 

Rinse and repeat.

 

Eventually they'll move on with their lives.

[theanongirl89]

Ignore and block.

 

Rinse and repeat.

 

Eventually they'll move on with their lives.

 

I hope that's the case, but it's been almost a year... And the harassment it's almost daily. I block everyone and anything. I just really hope they move on.

 

Thank you for your advice!

[katara42]

I wonder if he's using you to cover for other activity... "oh it's just my ex texting" or "my ex wants to get back together" or other nonsense. Like maybe she is led to believe you are in the picture. Was he a good guy when with you or was he shady? Could be she is just very very immature. What a lousy thing to deal with, being dragged back into something you are trying to leave behind.

[theanongirl89]

I wonder if he's using you to cover for other activity... "oh it's just my ex texting" or "my ex wants to get back together" or other nonsense. Like maybe she is led to believe you are in the picture. Was he a good guy when with you or was he shady? Could be she is just very very immature. What a lousy thing to deal with, being dragged back into something you are trying to leave behind.

 

Hi Katara! Thank your for replying. I never thought about him dragging me into their thing. Nope, he wasn't shady at all, really. He was a good guy until the last month he turned into a monster. I made mistakes while being together, but the relationship was truly awesome until it wasn't.

 

He's probably treating her like a queen, I don't know why she is even trying to tear me down again. The guy it's hers. I don't want him, we have zero contact. I think she's just being immature, even though she's 25 or so.

 

Believe me, it's disgusting being dragged back. I've been fighting since the day he left me to get back on my feet, and I'm still hurting on the inside but I'm really really trying to move on. Why would anyone try to hurt someone who is already a memory, and not even that. It's beyond me, I would never do such thing.

 

Thank you so so much for your answer

[boltnrun]

Well, your ex is a cheater.

 

Perhaps he's cheating on her but blaming the texts, etc., on you, claiming you're stalking him or something.

 

It would be ironic if he was doing to her what he did to you, with someone else.

 

In my case, my ex cheated on me and then left me for the one he was cheating on me with. He TRIED to cheat on her with me. Multiple times. She, however, fixated on another one of his exes and mainly harassed her and only harassed me a couple of times. Of course, he was cheating on her with that other ex.

 

So, my guess is your ex is cheating again.

 

But, luckily, it's not your problem anymore!

[theanongirl89]

Well, your ex is a cheater.

 

Perhaps he's cheating on her but blaming the texts, etc., on you, claiming you're stalking him or something.

 

It would be ironic if he was doing to her what he did to you, with someone else.

 

In my case, my ex cheated on me and then left me for the one he was cheating on me with. He TRIED to cheat on her with me. Multiple times. She, however, fixated on another one of his exes and mainly harassed her and only harassed me a couple of times. Of course, he was cheating on her with that other ex.

 

So, my guess is your ex is cheating again.

 

But, luckily, it's not your problem anymore!

 

I truly don't think that's the case. I truly believe they are genuinely happy and they truly love each other. I know what they say, once a cheater, always a cheater (he cheated on his ex before me). But I think he met The One and he wouldn't do that to her. So that's about it... I don't know why all this harassment when I'm just living my life.

[boltnrun]

I truly don't think that's the case. I truly believe they are genuinely happy and they truly love each other. I know what they say, once a cheater, always a cheater (he cheated on his ex before me). But I think he met The One and he wouldn't do that to her. So that's about it... I don't know why all this harassment when I'm just living my life.

 

So he cheated on two exes but won't cheat on her? Nope, don't buy it.

 

And if she knows his history I can guarantee she's just waiting for the shoe to drop. She's trying to harass you just in case he tries to cheat on her with you.

 

History will repeat itself.

[browser]

I hope that's the case, but it's been almost a year... And the harassment it's almost daily. I block everyone and anything. I just really hope they move on.

 

Thank you for your advice!

 

A year is a long time for daily harassment with no payoff.

 

You sure you aren't responding in some way?

[theanongirl89]

A year is a long time for daily harassment with no payoff

 

You sure you aren't responding in some way?

 

More than sure. I don't ever EVER post anything in any shape or form about my personal life

 

No sad quotes, not even songs. My TW account it's more like a Star Wars and Harry Potter fan account.

 

Hell, I don't even post anything personal on my Facebook or Instagram, which I had to change due to harassment. They are very private, only for close family and friends. And even then I don't post anything about them. Or anything sad. Or angry.

 

That's why I was asking. I'm just a ghost for them, I guess. Because when it comes to contact, he haven't heard a single word from me, since May 1st.

[katara42]

More than sure. I don't ever EVER post anything in any shape or form about my personal life

 

No sad quotes, not even songs. My TW account it's more like a Star Wars and Harry Potter fan account.

 

Hell, I don't even post anything personal on my Facebook or Instagram, which I had to change due to harassment. They are very private, only for close family and friends. And even then I don't post anything about them. Or anything sad. Or angry.

 

That's why I was asking. I'm just a ghost for them, I guess. Because when it comes to contact, he haven't heard a single word from me, since May 1st.

 

Huh. Daily harassment for a year? Did I read that right? I'd be tempted to call the non emergency police line to see what they suggest. I wouldn't want to make things worse or anything, but maybe they have some ideas. You don't have to act on anything. For sure I'd document it all. I'd be sick of it.

[boltnrun]

So, if I read this correctly, the only way you're exposed to this so-called "harassment" is when YOU look at HER social media.

 

So, how about you...just don't look??

[theanongirl89]

Katara, thank you so much for your insight. But I think that's what she wants, a reaction from me. Which she won't get. Giving time or thought to whatever she's trying to accomplish, it's not worth it. At first it hurt, but now I keep moving on and the only thing that bothered me was why was she doing this.

 

Boltnrun, thank you so much for your time and comments. I think it's harassment because it's not only when I look (which is when one of this egg accounts or her friends stalks my Twitter. Which must be pretty boring, because I'm not that interesting), but she called (we never talked, she said an insult and then disappeared) me like I told before in one of my threads. But yes, you're right. If something happens again this week, without a second thought I will either block or just ignore it.

 

Thank you so so much for your time. I really appreciate it.