raqueljones Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Ill try sum this up ..would appreciate any* advice I have been seeing a guy 3 yrs. First 3 months he said its nothing serious..being shy & poor self esteem i continued on. Then he got promoted left area..i was hurt..considered it over..he was like my first ever bf. I dated someone else. This original guy came back wanting to see me..& on it continued..i coundnt lose my feelings for him. 3 yrs still we see eachother weekly or so.i see no one else ..he travels on & off for work. He seems reluctant to call me a gf & i m hidden from his family. He is 4 yrs younger 30 yrs now. But everytime i go to leave ..he will carry on & get upset & i go back. I do not feel respected by him. He wont go..but will not title me as anything in his life. Id like to have kids & be sure of who iam with. Do i need to toughen up here ?? Any advice from ladies appreciated. Ps he is a nerd & always flippant..his brain is 90% math Link to comment
limichelle Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Yes you do need to toughen up and cut ties with this guy. If he hides you and won't label things after three years I hate to say but he is leading you on. I would find somebody who wants the same things as you and won't be complicated about it. Lisa Link to comment
Jinsky Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Yes, you got to toughen up. You need to find out what is important for each of you. If it's incompatible and no one will give in or make long term compromise, then it has to end. It's hard to make that step and stick with it. If you keep giving in and does not stick to your words, he will learn that you don't mean it. Which means he can do whatever since you always give in. Why would he change? (Oh btw, you won't change people. You can help them change, but they won't unless they make decision to commit to it) Link to comment
raqueljones Posted July 20, 2016 Author Share Posted July 20, 2016 Yes you do need to toughen up and cut ties with this guy. If he hides you and won't label things after three years I hate to say but he is leading you on. I would find somebody who wants the same things as you and won't be complicated about it. Lisa Thank you despite this going on so long i was sure if someone had genuine feelings they would want to at least do basic things, like make it known they are in relationship Link to comment
raqueljones Posted July 20, 2016 Author Share Posted July 20, 2016 Thank you...... .. Link to comment
raqueljones Posted July 20, 2016 Author Share Posted July 20, 2016 One other thing if i may i continually ask myself why iam not perceived as good enough by this 3 yr dating guy. I work hard, i keep fit ..im busy , i live my life. Im genuine. I wish i could understand things. I never get why guys hang on when they feel they can do better. If they think they can do better i would encourage them to do so. Link to comment
arjumand Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 He doesn't consider you good enough now because you have made it clear that you are willing to be treated in such a shabby fashion -- remember we teach people how to treat us. Why he didn't mention you at the beginning is now irrelevant. Don't sell yourself short. Link to comment
Gimpyrks Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 It's not that YOU aren't good enough. You are good enough it is clear that it's him that is t good enough. Commitment issues never change in people, and I know that's hard to hear. You will leave when you are ready but I guarantee these behaviors from him will not change. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Ill try sum this up ..would appreciate any* advice I have been seeing a guy 3 yrs. First 3 months he said its nothing serious..being shy & poor self esteem i continued on. Then he got promoted left area..i was hurt..considered it over..he was like my first ever bf. I dated someone else. This original guy came back wanting to see me..& on it continued..i coundnt lose my feelings for him. 3 yrs still we see eachother weekly or so.i see no one else ..he travels on & off for work. He seems reluctant to call me a gf & i m hidden from his family. He is 4 yrs younger 30 yrs now. But everytime i go to leave ..he will carry on & get upset & i go back. I do not feel respected by him. He wont go..but will not title me as anything in his life. Id like to have kids & be sure of who iam with. Do i need to toughen up here ?? Any advice from ladies appreciated. Ps he is a nerd & always flippant..his brain is 90% math Nothing will change. Decide if you can tolerate it, or not. That is your only option. Link to comment
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