She had access to all my tech. I know she would find the website,it was to vent.

[LysanderR]

The woman I loved for 5 years breaks it off with me, 5 years I lived with her,raised her 3 kids that were not mine,always be there for her. I told her my heart and soul. In return all I wanted for her was to compromise in giving me some love and affection and a little spice in our bed and give and take. I would talk to her and tell her how I like to be comforted a nice warm hug when where in bed and kiss on occasion and look at each other eye to eye when making love. I am not being clinging It is nice to have a woman touch and words on comfort. I mention this to her for years, she would try for a week or so and then nothing. Sex was one way most of the time and I would start it. Oral was not a big thing for her either she would never look at me or face my way,even when I was willing to close my eyes. She would never wear anything sexy for me or try to seduce me, not even once in the 5 years we been together. When I ask her at least to try seduce me she would say "YOU CAN NOT CHANGE ME" she always closed her eyes during sex and would always ended turn on her side. barely gets on top and she does her eyes are close and mostly no kissing is involved, she did allow me to watch porn from time to time. But in the end I just ended up watching porn while having sex as she would always go back to the same position and close her eyes again. I love her so much and I tell her this. I never ask her for anything I would go out my way to make sure the kids are happy and her happy. Make her birthday special and her kids, I never asked her for doing whatever she wants,never asked her to change her clothes or appearance,or see who ever she wants or go where ever she wants.I compromised with her in every level, communicated with her all the time. I made life easier for her, even all this time all I wanted for her was a single compromise and just give me her time when where together at home. To know I am wanted and needed just showing some love and affection was enough for me. But again in all the years we have been together I would tell her and she would do it for a couple of times in a week and the slowly it would disappear again. So out of frustration and starting to feel resentment, I opened a dumb adult dating sight to vent out. to anybody, but mostly this sites are full of computer generated people to lure you in. I copied and made probably 4 at once as they are all free. I made sure she would see this pop up on the laptop. as she uses my laptop to see her shows, She found it in 2 days. Knowing when she find it, I was already shutting it down as soon as she does, I know this was dumb Idea but I also wanted to know how she really felt about me and was I worth anything to her.

She called me and after explaining everything to her what the reason behind it. And maybe now she would listen to me on how I felt about the relationship we had. She judge me and deemed the action as CHEATING ON HER,AND BROKE HER TRUST. SHE SAID TO ME LOVE EQUALS TRUST. And because I broke her Trust its over. In my years with her I guess all I was to her was trustworthy. Since when did love became equal to Trust only. I am 43 and I've been divorce twice and she has too. I opened my heart to her and made every actions in the last years to made of devotion to her and her children,cook,take them to beach,theme parks and more, whilst she work,i dedicated. in return i really meant nothing. I showed her my love i thought all this would mean anything to her. A benefit of the doubt. That love meant in more than one word,Devotion,understanding,affection,understand,listen and most of all compromise because we are all different and we all have different needs. Relationship means to compromise also. Only wanted for was to listen and learn to compromise to each other to grow as a couple a friend and learn each others needs to keep each other happy. But even explaining all this to her, I just made it worse,she said if your happy NOT HAPPY then leave,find yourself another,because i will not change for you. She said she loved me but i throw that all away in 2 days by. PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE. THE FACT I CREATED A PROFILE AND PUT MYSELF OUT THERE. I know I hurt her and apologize and honestly told her the intent was not to find another. I never meet anyone,talked to anyone,or even made the an effort to do so. She was the only one I want and all I wanted was to get her attention listen to me because, after 5 years did I matter at all. And I guess not because It is still over and I cheated on her. Even when I didn't.

[LadyRayne]

I'm sorry it's come to this. Along the way did you guys ever try counselling/couple therapy? If she refused to then you probably have an answer in that itself.

 

The adult sites were a really a silly thing to do but I understand your frustration. However if everything you're saying is true it sounds like she was just looking for a reason to end it. And you gave her a whooper of an excuse. Perhaps she's been hanging on for years because it was convenient. I know endings are never good when you love someone but she obviously is not in love with you anymore by her actions. Go and find someone who will appreciate your devotion.

[Knot2loud]

Sorry for your situation. It's unfortunate your relationship with her ended since you thought the world of her. However, it appears to have been a one-sided relationship with you being the one to dish out the affection and love. This is not a good thing in any relationship. It takes two to make it work.

 

Your life's not even over at 43. You're what they call: "eligible." Just thought I'd mention this in closing... There are seven billion people on this planet. Half of them are women. Can you even guess how many lonely women there are out there looking for a man who will love them, care for them, share their lives with them? No, I doubt you can. Sure, this dilemma you're going through may hurt, but in the end... I see a lot of light at the end of this tunnel. So don't give up, put this lady behind you and move on. As far as I see it... This is her loss, not yours.

[Clinton]

"So out of frustration and starting to feel resentment, I opened a dumb adult dating sight to vent out. to anybody"

 

I call BS. You got caught with your hand in the cookie jar and are paying the price. Take it as a lesson for your next relationship.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately this is not a method to get better bjs. You are sexually incompatible and using this passive-aggressive measure to make her feel betrayed and/or inferior backfired.

out of frustration and starting to feel resentment, I opened a dumb adult dating sight to vent out. to anybody, but mostly this sites are full of computer generated people to lure you in. I copied and made probably 4 at once as they are all free

[Hollyj]

You were never compatible. I'm sorry, but this relationship should have been over years ago. You should not expect people to change.

 

The website do equate to cheating. I don't believe your story, either.

 

Look for someone who is on the same page, sexually

[Hollyj]

Sorry for your situation. It's unfortunate your relationship with her ended since you thought the world of her. However, it appears to have been a one-sided relationship with you being the one to dish out the affection and love. This is not a good thing in any relationship. It takes two to make it work.

my

Your life's not even over at 43. You're what they call: "eligible." Just thought I'd mention this in closing... There are seven billion people on this planet. Half of them are women. Can you even guess how many lonely women there are out there looking for a man who will love them, care for them, share their lives with them? No, I doubt you can. Sure, this dilemma you're going through may hurt, but in the end... I see a lot of light at the end of this tunnel. So don't give up, put this lady behind you and move on. As far as I see it... This is her loss, not yours.

 

Why do we have to be "lonely" to want to incorporate someone into our lives? I have a very full life, but see a partner as a compliment, not someone to fulfill my empty days

[LysanderR]

I made sure she saw it. I never changed any security on my laptop, phones and emails and know she watched her drama in my laptop. That was the reason and see what she really do. Either talked and find out what's happening or simply end it.

[LysanderR]

Thank you for your kind words as you know right now I'm still numb. But I won't leave the house until I finish securing the place at least that way I won't have to worry about the children and her.

[LysanderR]

Thank you all of you for your feedback I can see a better perspective of it all. I think I should just move on.

[HeartGoesOn]

There are other ways to get her attention, other than joining a dating site while knowing you're already in a relationship. I'm sorry, but your story doesn't hold water.

[LysanderR]

I offered counselling so another could see the perspective of it all, she said no. And I stop at that.

[LysanderR]

I tried I take her out to dinner, make her dedicated songs,massages,I made crafts for her and her kids,I tried talking to her all the time,I know what i did was not right. Knowing that also meant I needed to see if I really amount to anything to her.