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What should I do?


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Hi guys,

OK so here's the thing I have a few issues which I could do with some advice ..

I have a Spanish boyfriend. We met when he stayed here then he moved back to Barcelona for 6 months. I flew out to visit him and he decided to move back to Scotland as he got a job here. I bought a house and he moved in. I it's half way in between Edinburgh and Glasgow but not in a busy city. He moved here the end of last year and I thought we were happy up until recently. He has been very distant and wants us to move to a city where it's busier. We used to have sex regularly but now..... Not so much... At all..... Maybe once every two / three months. Im 26 and he's 28!ive tried talking about us falling apart but he blames not staying on the city making him unhappy therefore not wanting sex. I've tried coming onto him.... Doesn't work.... He doesn't even want me to touch him anymore and it really upsets me. I've agreed to sell my house and move... Which he firstly agreed to then a while after wants to keep the house as 'it's ours.... And we've made it lovely'. I'm stuck and don't know what to do..... Please help me!

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Do you guys do anything at all to make your relationship outside of the bedroom fun and exciting? What can you do where you live that you could do in the "big city?" Sexual attraction and libido starts outside of the bedroom and if you guys just sit around and watch t.v. or Netflix then I suppose things are going to get stale. You're too young to be only having sex once every other month so start thinking of ways to stimulate yourselves while together that doesn't have anything to do with sex and then hopefully his libido will improve to match your own.

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He won't entertain the whole outside the bedroom sex, we have a house and i think we've only had sex twice outside the bed!! (And it's so predictable) but that's the only way he wants it.


We do things... When his mood is OK... Go walks, cinema things like that. The thing is we have to drive there.... I know... That's not hard. But... For him it's a hassle and would Rather just not go. I

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He sounds unmotivated and depressed. Have you asked him how he thinks living in the city would make him more motivated and generally with more joy? Is he home sick?


I think You have to find a way to make it clear to him that your relationship is on the rocks unless he snaps out of it or at least levels with you as to what his issues are. Certainly you don't want to spend the rest of your life like this (?) so I'll assume that you would be willing to leave him if he's not willing to buck up. Offer to accompany him to the doctor for a complete checkup just to make sure he's not deficient in any nutrients. I know that having a vitamin D deficiency will cause him to be generally blah.


Your life together in general sounds mundane. Do you think it is?

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I'd be pretty miserable if I moved from Barcelona to Bum****, Scotland, too. Not absolving him of having made the conscious decision to do so, but still.


To me, it sounds like incompatibility. I actually do buy his excuse that he's stressed from his social life having gone down the crapper. My family's from Spain, though they're not Catalan. Even going from Almeria in the south to a smaller town in Scotland would be a big deal.


Thing is, you bought the property. It's a little more complicated than just ending a lease and moving to Glasgow. If he's so unhappy there, it's time for him to get his own place in the city. If you two can't work as a couple with him there and you here, it may be time to part ways.

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He hadn't stayed in Spain for 6 years outwith that 6months in Barcelona. It was his decision to move back here. I understand that it's different that staying in somewhere like Barcelona but there are still things to do. We've spoke about social things that interest him and I've looked into them so it's just a matter of going....... Again if his mood allows.

I know that it's mire complicated than ending a lease but it was an investment for what I thought would be a future. Whether that be renting it out or selling it. I've already had Estate agents round to give me an evaluation.. Which he was happy about the price but again changed his mind about wanting to sell.

We've spoke about our relationship, apart from the house/location and the sex. He says he loves me and wants a future with me. I just don't know how to help him feel better. In my eyes I'm trying everything I can do.

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