Hpv

[romantic87]

Is it overkill to break up with someone you're having a great time with because of this diagnosis... It's not a wart strain... There's no way to tell who gave it to who because guys can't get tested and then there's a latentcy clause... I worked up a bunch of courage to tell this guy even after giving him a pre warning the day before I found out exactly what it was and he still hung out with me.... The only responses I got were "wonderful..." And " I appreciate you telling me, I don't really know what else to say." Then he stopped responding to me even when I was asking for clarification on our relationship because I'm not him so I don't know how to interpret those responses and he didn't really give me clarity...

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately he was put off and ran. I would not bother giving him a medical lecture. He's not interested in being informed nor continuing to date. Insist on condoms next time.

I worked up a bunch of courage to tell this guy.The only responses I got were "wonderful..." And " I appreciate you telling me, I don't really know what else to say." Then he stopped responding to me

Same guy?

[Seraphim]

He is going to be pretty upset as most people have HPV at some point in their life. So he has had sex with people with HPV and he probably has it too. He is just thinking he doesn't.

[romantic87]

Yes just posting under different category... Just want some more guidance.. Just to help me process the cluster

[j.man]

Only time I'd care is if it were a strain that caused genital warts. Otherwise, HPV is almost exclusively a women's issue. HPV is transmitted skin-skin and can do so outside the area of condom coverage, so I wouldn't immediately assume the woman engaged/engages in unsafe sexual practices. Unfortunately, most men don't really know what HPV is beyond it being an STD.

 

A lot also depends on how long you've been seeing each other and how much he really liked you. You say "break up," but the tone of your post makes it sound like you two are relatively early into dating.

[tiredofvampires]

Only time I'd care is if it were a strain that caused genital warts. Otherwise, HPV is almost exclusively a women's issue.

 

Not really, not anymore. More and more men are getting it from oral sex on women, and it affects their throats the way it affects a woman's cervix: pre-cancer and cancerous changes (if the body doesn't fight it off).

 

The warts type is much more benign.

 

OP, I would try to reach out to ask him. Posts that ask, "What did he/she mean by that?" are almost always best handled by the OP actually asking the person themselves. We are not in his head, he is.

[conwy]

I would say that if he can't accept you for you, HPV, warts and all, he doesn't deserve you. People need to get more educated on the subject of HPV. It's incredibly common and many people have it and don't know. This hits close to home, because I just ended my relationship and I have HPV. So, this doesn't look good for me on the dating front.

[romantic87]

Not really, not anymore. More and more men are getting it from oral sex on women, and it affects their throats the way it affects a woman's cervix: pre-cancer and cancerous changes (if the body doesn't fight it off).

 

The warts type is much more benign.

 

OP, I would try to reach out to ask him. Posts that ask, "What did he/she mean by that?" are almost always best handled by the OP actually asking the person themselves. We are not in his head, he is.

 

I did ask and he never responded

[tiredofvampires]

Well then, you did all you could, right? I don't think you'll ever know for sure, so we are speculating here.

 

But you told the truth, it needed to be done, and so now you are free to move on. That's really all you need to know.

 

Are you being treated for the HPV? Because that would be an important piece to tell a partner. Lots of people are ignorant out there and simply need to be properly informed about what their risks are, and are not.

[romantic87]

I have a high risk strain not the low risk wart strain... So no warts... Both strains for most people tend to go away by the body's own immunity killing it.. It can take two years but still most people get rid of it.. It rarely becomes cancerous unless predisposing factors are also present..smoking, bad diet, weak immunity .. I'm not taking it lightly though .. I'm getting a colposcopy in a couple weeks to double check... My pap came back abnormal but it was a category called ASCUS.. Cells look somewhat abnormal but not definitive enough to suggest precancerous ... It's just frustrating because based on his response it feels like he thinks this was my doing which it could very well be but the fact that he can't possible accept that it could have been him is what angers me... HPV doesn't anger me.. I wouldn't even be mad if it came from him because he has no way of knowing and it's not his fault science hasn't made an acceptable test... It's like I would have to put faith in his faith in his other partners... It's just dumb that he'd run... I mean there's a good chance the next girl he runs into could have it... It's like distancing yourself from me isn't going to save you you know...but I think either he really is uneducated and ignorant or maybe he doesn't care and just needed a reason to bail... But it didn't seem that way... I prepared him... I told him I got a call and that normally it's not a good sign and somethings up.. I didn't know at the time what it was and I expressed that to him.. I told him it could be an abnormal pap, they could need a retest because my sample wasn't good enough.. I even told him it could be an std and he came over anyway and hung with me.. When I told him over text he was sending little supportive kiss texts and told me how sexy he thought I was.. Like reassuring me and then when I told him what it was.. Complete 180 Like I gave him HIV or something.. No comfort or reassurance then... Like it wasn't real until it was real I guess... But because I've researched it a lot.. It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me... I mean chances are half the guys I run into in my life will have it and I have to choose if it's worth it to get involved because there really is no 100% protection.. Even condoms... If you're going to stigmatize it then what's your option.. No sex ever, full body condom or take all the pleasure out of sex with intercourse condoms and condoms/dental dams during oral sex, like you can't even naked dry hump! that's how contagious and easily spread this thing is... As a girl choosing are partners carries more weight than a guy because we have the luxury of telling them if we have it or not but with them it's completely all on chance

[romantic87]

There is no treatment for HPV.. Only if after a colposcopy the doctor thinks more action needs to be taken based on the severity of the abnormal cell growth...but I won't know that till I get it.. If it's moderate to severe they are going to recommend the LEEP procedure which is a electrocautery wire loop that removes the abnormal cells from the surface of the cervix... if it's mild they generally just recommend a follow up pap in 6mo to a year and will determine if things look worse, better or the same.. If it better or even maybe the same then it usually it's a sign that your body is taking care of it and they will just continue to recommend annual paps until you come back with a normal result.. Only then can it be assumed that you're clear

[romantic87]

Well then, you did all you could, right? I don't think you'll ever know for sure, so we are speculating here.

 

But you told the truth, it needed to be done, and so now you are free to move on. That's really all you need to know.

 

Are you being treated for the HPV? Because that would be an important piece to tell a partner. Lots of people are ignorant out there and simply need to be properly informed about what their risks are, and are not.

 

There is no treatment for HPV.. Only if after a colposcopy the doctor thinks more action needs to be taken based on the severity of the abnormal cell growth...but I won't know that till I get it.. If it's moderate to severe they are going to recommend the LEEP procedure which is a electrocautery wire loop that removes the abnormal cells from the surface of the cervix... if it's mild they generally just recommend a follow up pap in 6mo to a year and will determine if things look worse, better or the same.. If it better or even maybe the same then it usually it's a sign that your body is taking care of it and they will just continue to recommend annual paps until you come back with a normal result.. Only then can it be assumed that you're clear

[catfeeder]

Then he stopped responding to me even when I was asking for clarification on our relationship because I'm not him so I don't know how to interpret those responses and he didn't really give me clarity...

 

Yes, he did give you clarity when he stopped responding.

[tiredofvampires]

There is no treatment for HPV.. Only if after a colposcopy the doctor thinks more action needs to be taken based on the severity of the abnormal cell growth...but I won't know that till I get it.. If it's moderate to severe they are going to recommend the LEEP procedure which is a electrocautery wire loop that removes the abnormal cells from the surface of the cervix... if it's mild they generally just recommend a follow up pap in 6mo to a year and will determine if things look worse, better or the same.. If it better or even maybe the same then it usually it's a sign that your body is taking care of it and they will just continue to recommend annual paps until you come back with a normal result.. Only then can it be assumed that you're clear

 

That's what I meant by treatment.

 

I was asking because I don't know how well you know this guy...it seems the relationship is still very fresh, and you may not have built up the serious trust needed to be in a LTR yet, but if you were being treated or were prospectively looking at being treated, you might have said that to him, so that it would seem less daunting to him. Many, many people run screaming if they don't know what's involved, and so he probably just freaked out. He hasn't done all the research you have.

 

You didn't do anything wrong, and if he's going to leave without inquiring further what his risks are and how to protect against it, he clearly was not in this for the long haul. But in the future, you might consider, if the trust over other difficult issues hasn't been built, relay the information in a way that educates them about what will be done and can be done to continue having a relatively safe sex life. For all you know, he doesn't even know HSV from HPV and thinks this is a life sentence for him.