Jazman Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 I've been with this girl for 8 years now and we have been married for 3 years. Over the last year we have been on and off. She has a few issues which I've always supported her with. She has bipolar and a eating disorder. She keeps saying it isn't working and it's for the best we are not together. It was always good between us and when she decides to end it, it's always out of the blue. The day before she is happy, making plans for the future with me and saying she loves me. Then the next day she wants to end it. We have broken up at one time and still spent time together and slept together. This recent time she is giving mix messages again just like the times before. She told me this should be the end and I should be stronge and it hasn't been working way before we got married and she wants to be friends if possible. Then straight after that message she said by end I mean some space apart as she needs to get herself back together. Anything I message her with trying to sort things or expressing how I feel about her gets ignored. We have 2 children in the middle of this and she told the oldest that she needs some quality time alone. I've gone straight to the point and asked if she wanted to be with me or not and the reply I got was I don't know. I'm fine if she wants time to pick herself back up but why can't she just tell me that so I know what is happening. Advice please, my heads a mess and can't think straight Link to comment
bebopower793 Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 I can understand your emotions. My first advice to you is that you need to garner all the patience you can and stay composed. I also have a question for you. Is she on medication or has she discontinued them. I was once with a girl who was bipolar. It was hard. Her emotions oscillated between intense anger and love. From what I gather she desperately needs space and you need to give that to her. I would also recommend couple therapy. In all this emotional turmoil you need to find a way to build a constructive environment for your children. Do you or her have any family in the vicinity? Link to comment
Jazman Posted July 16, 2016 Author Share Posted July 16, 2016 It is very difficult, I love and care for her greatly. I've been by her side helping her with these situations and now she has cut me off completely. I really want to give her some space and all I ask is to know if it is over or if she needs some time. She won't give me that answer. She has family very close by but she is planning on moving away soon closer to close friends, which at one point was the plan for us both before we broke up. She gets help with her eating disorder and she has been doing really well since the break up and I'm happy she is doing great. I just don't know where I'm coming or going. She seems to think I'd be happier with someone else and I have reassured her that I'm happy with her and I want no one else but her. I've asked if she is seeing anyone else and she ain't so she said but I don't know what to do with my life now. Do I give her space and stand by and wait for something that potentially may not happen or do I start moving on? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 She probably stopped her meds and therapy. You can not stop a norepinephrine and dopamine tsunami by yourself or with love. She must get her therapy and meds and manic episodes under control. we have been on and off. She has bipolar and a eating disorder. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 I'd leave her alone and stop pressuring her. I'd see an attorney to learn your rights and obligations, and to set up visitation with your kids. She needs to work her stuff out on her own, and the more pressure you apply for her to be accountable to you, the more you'll push her away and the more resentment toward you you'll build. You say you've been 'on and off,' so at what point do you learn learn that 'off' means to leave her alone? That's not just about allowing her the space, it's about allowing enough space for YOU to pipe down and stop making your concern for her into a distraction that prevents you from figuring out your own stuff. She needs for you to stop making everything all about her. Link to comment
chitown9 Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 Where are your children in all of this? Are they with you or are they with her? Link to comment
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