Perhaps someone in a similar vortex of crazy has some pointers for me....

[farfrompukin]

I moved with my husband back to his home country of Sweden (so I know no one and have no support). I also don't currently have a job. We were having troubles of this sort previously, but it's taken a serious turn for the extra, extra crazy.

 

This happened *today*:

10am, I step into bedroom door to see if he is awake and wants breakfast. Without glasses can’t determine awake or asleep. As I am squinting, he yells, “What!!??” I disperse.

Later he complains that I was rude and unreasonable expecting him to be nice to me that early in the morning. 10? Really? Not like he works late shift and I was shaking him awake at 7am.

For the next 3 hours he moves a chair to the farthest corner of our apartment and sits with his back to me while texting on his phone.

I put a fresh roast in the oven at a truly early time in the morning for dinner (being quiet so as not to wake him for the love of dog) -- told him I would be doing that last night.

I pull the roast out, broil some potatoes in herbs and butter, and make homemade gravy. I get myself a plate and let him know dinner (lunch actually) was on the stove. He immediately goes into the kitchen and starts frying up ring bologna for sandwiches. I start crying. He says, “Well what the hell did I do now?”

Really?? I have to explain the hurt and insult to you when you eschew (on purpose) homemade food that is one of your favorites for...ugh...bologna.

 

So then I was scheduled for back to back video interviews, and during the first one I hear him rattling around in the kitchen sounding like he was opening every noisy, plastic bag in there, and then there was a bunch of crunching. My interview ends and I go to the kitchen to see him cooking....again. I asked what he was making. He says, "Two packs of ramen noodles (yes, the 25 cent variety - I don't even know where they came from), but I promise to be quiet. Me: “Well, that hasn’t worked out, and the Boeuf Bourguignon and homemade noodles that I portioned for meals which are currently in the fridge would have been significantly quieter, AND have been less insulting. Him: “How the f*ck am I insulting you now??!!”

Please bear in mind that these are two of his all time favorite dishes. I’m not just over here trying new recipes without any cooking skills. I have made these things for him upon his request many, many times.

 

So yesterday I met up with some expat friends, who were going to (very kindly) sort through their overfull attic, overfull garage and overfull storage shed to see if they had any items (for a price, of course), to get to us since we just moved into a new place. Hubby said he was off work Saturday, so I told said friends, lets try for Saturday, I’ll bring dinner (as an extra thank you), and we can look at what you have, or I can even help sort, if you like. I will have to confirm with dear husband, so will text you later.

I relayed this to dear husband yesterday, and today he says he should have spoken up yesterday, but that he wasn’t going to put up with me “making unilateral decisions that affect us both” (a line stolen from me because HE is constantly promising us, me, MY TIME, or breaking plans that we agreed upon previously because his word, our agreements and our relationship don’t matter in his life). I repeated the part about confirming with him, and when I requested confirmation or input, the exact words he used was: “OK”.

 

So, he just moments ago accepted an on call shift at work for the date of this “garage sale”/dinner, and just came in and announced to me his “unilateral decision that affects both of us”, although he is exempt from any wrongdoing in these situations because it was HIM making the decision....oh, and he’s not gonna take my about this subject any more. I have no idea what he means with that last statement in the least.

I don’t know specifically what kind of bat sh*t crazy diagnosis he would have, because he is above going to therapy (even though he does occasionally slip and wonders out loud why he is so angry all the time).

 

There is no way to reason with this person. He will literally, *literally*, go “lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala” when I point out some nasty or hateful thing he’s just done or have caught him in a lie.

He is also the type of sociopath that treats me like behind closed doors, but anyone who would see us out in public would think that he is the most caring, loving and nice person a partner could ever want. And I.....I am caught in his crazy vortex, and escape is truly impossible at this moment in time.

 

Suggestions?

 

Thanks in advance,

 

Maybe closer to puking than my username suggests....

[Wiseman2]

It there a large cultural difference? Where are you from? Do you think that contributes to this poor communication?

[Jibralta]

It sounds like you two don't like each other. It also sounds like there is no communication in your relationship. Are you sure you want to be in this situation?

[overthemoon86]

He sounds very controlling, condescending and frankly rude... definitely not someone I would want to be with.

 

Have you considered marriage counseling? You mentioned this has happened before, how have you tried to resolve it? If you have taken those steps already, I would seriously be considering divorce.

[j.man]

How much of your free time is spent with him? Not that he's expressing it in the healthiest of ways, but even I felt a bit smothered just reading this.

[DancingFool]

He is rude and insensitive and you are hyper sensitive and kind of controlling yourself.....soooo yeah keg of dynamite waiting for a spark.

 

Look, it doesn't matter if it's 5am or 11am, if he is not a morning person, then leave him alone in the morning and stop mothering him. He can roll out of bed when he is ready and make his own breakfast if he wants it.

 

As for the cooking thing. Again, he is a grown adult and if you cook, don't create some obligation on the other person to eat it or else it's some kind of an insult to you. It's not. If he wants a sandwich instead of a heavy roast he can eat a sandwich and he is not asking you to make something else for him either. He is helping himself to what he wants.

 

Basically, stop mothering, learn how to give each other some space. Learn how to communicate better. Try maybe actually being supportive when the guy is going to work to pick up additional hours and pay when he is the only one supporting the two of you. Go to your friends yourself and do what you want. You don't need to be attached at the hip. If he can't go, talk to him about items you two might need and whether he even cares about them or would rather you just take care of it. Learn how to communicate in a more practical way, learn how to give each other space. You might be amazed how much better your marriage becomes.

[farfrompukin]

It there a large cultural difference? Where are you from? Do you think that contributes to this poor communication?

 

I'm American and he's European (Swedish, as mentioned), so there's not a significant cultural difference -- we both totally agree on the big stuff: religion, children, politics, etc. Also, It's not really possible to relate the "whole story", so to speak, in a couple paragraphs.

 

Jibralta: I am resentful how he treats me with the lies, deceptions, breaking of his word, lack of respect, lack of communication, but I've been trying to let it go and treat the move to Sweden as a "fresh start" so to speak, and each day, I try to inject some positivity into our relationship.

 

overthemoon86: Did previously try counseling and it turned out like the directions on a shampoo bottle - lather, rinse, repeat. Typical counseling "homework" is to assign each person one action to take over the next week that is intended to improve the relationship. The following week, the counselor asks: So tell me what actions you took this week on X and Y. I had a response of numerous actions, as I had promised in the previous session. My husband: Uh, no I don't have any specific answers, but I tried my best. Assignment for next week, try actions A and B and let me know what they were when you come back. Next session: Me - list of actions, Husband - I don't have anything specific, but I tried my best. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. That's in addition to the fact that he lied to the counselor. Ok, that's enough money out the window.

 

j.man: If you feel smothered because your partner actually had some time off work (highly unusual) to (at least offer) make both of you a nice breakfast, and make a couple of your favorite meals during the week, then wow....that was wayyyyy too easy. We spend very little time together, and it was his first day off in more than a week -- and as I said, I moved to another continent that is his home where I have no family, friends or support, so it's kinda nice to talk to another human once in a while.

 

Dancing Fool: Yeah, I may be a bit oversensitive, mostly because this has been going on for some time. I am most assuredly not mothering him. I have been very sympathetic to him over the past couple weeks, as he has 5 compressed vertebrae and "threw out" his back about 10 days ago -- will not go to dr, chiro, etc., -- so I have tried to be sensitive I have typically been the one to work long hours; it's just his time now, so even though I was working 70 hour weeks and him 15 hour weeks, if I wanted a meal that didn't consist of frozen pizza, or frozen burgers, or frozen hot dogs, I had to make it -- even though he was the one who attended culinary school in Europe. I also had to do the laundry (at least mine), vacuum, sweep, mop, clean the bathrooms, go to the drycleaners, do the grocery shopping, do the other department store and household shopping, make sure all the bills were paid, see to car maintenance, home maintenance, and a partridge in a pear tree. When I finally asked him to contribute more to our household/errand/administrative needs for our life and relationship, his answer was: "I'm not the f*cking butler." So you pulling the "he's paying for stuff" is not only the fact that it shouldn't matter, as I still deserve common courtesy and respect, but I am the one who footed the bill for all "our" expenses, including his student loan for 7 years before agreeing to give up my career and go with him to Sweden -- oh, and by the way, "I (he) didn't tell you (me), but you (I) also have to be at the beck and call of my (his) aging parents: one with cancer, and the other with early onset Alzheimer's. And yeah, you didn't know these particular details, but telling me I should be supportive and grateful because "he's the man earning the bacon" was never cool, and quite misogynistic (women can be misogynists, too).

 

Here is a prime example of the kind of deceptive liar I'm dealing with: He was driving MY car (I paid for him to have his own car), and drove over some brightly painted, decorative rocks on the edge of the community where we lived. Not only drove over them, drove over them in some way as to rip the running board off my Jeep, and "realign" the passenger side so that neither of the doors would open. He hid the running board in our Extra Storage locker, then him and his buddy used MY crowbar (he had no tools, he bought no tools, he still owns no tools) to pull the hinges on both doors forward enough to open the doors (the windows won't go up and down), in an attempt to hide him wrecking my car from me -- NEVER told me. So when I realized the running board was missing, I finally got the story about the painted rocks. In Spring, when I tried to use the windows, I got the story about the decorative rocks. When I fully inspected the damage (to the tune of $5.3K), I didn't even get a sorry.

 

Further, he insisted that we had to travel from San Francisco to Washington DC for me to go to the Swedish Embassy and obtain my new Permanent Resident ID. He said the ID was for forever, and the sooner we got it, the better off we would be if we ever needed to move to Sweden, or for my to apply for a job in the EU, and that there was a "timer" on getting this said ID. Oh...and as a sidenote he needed to renew his Passport. The trusting fool I am believed him without any research, and spent $2500 for a trip to DC to accomplish these tasks. While in the Embassy to get these things done, I was told that Sweden actually issued the ID, and that it would be finalized and sent to our permanent residence in Sweden. What??!! Then how can I use it to get into Sweden AND get a job in the EU, etc. So hubby then handed over his passport for renewal, and the Embassy worker responded: "Oh, this is expired, so we will have to send your information to Sweden to see if they will approve issuing you a new Passport". WHAT?? Come to find that his passport had already expired months ago and that he didn't want to stand in line at the Swedish Consulate in San Francisco, because their wait time was 2 months. Well how TF long do you think it will take for Sweden to approve it and send it back??!! And even further, we received a letter confirming my ID had been sent to our permanent Swedish address by the Swedish Migration Board, it also said that my ID would be valid for 4 years from the date stamped on it by Sweden immigration. Sooooooo......NOT a forever ID, the bas*ard just didn't want to stand in line for his passport (as noted), and since he had no money or skin in the game, he lied to me enough to convince me the $2500 trip was necessary.

[Ms Darcy]

I think you need to decide what your objective is here. It doesn't even sound like you want to stay married (calling dude a sociopath and compulsive liar). If so, then take steps to divorce. If you want to stay married, decide to get help together (such as counselling with a third party).

 

The communication is so far gone I don't think you two can salvage this on your own.

[Wiseman2]

It's sounds like you are quite isolated. Can you get a job there or something to get you out of the the house and out of hemmafru and Martha Stewart mode? It sounds like you resent moving and hold him responsible for your happiness and think that food and cooking will solve all your problems.

 

You need a life outside the house and outside of him to stop this martyrdom and resentment. Do you speak Swedish? What about taking some courses there?

[DancingFool]

Dancing Fool: Yeah, I may be a bit oversensitive, mostly because this has been going on for some time. I am most assuredly not mothering him. I have been very sympathetic to him over the past couple weeks, as he has 5 compressed vertebrae and "threw out" his back about 10 days ago -- will not go to dr, chiro, etc., -- so I have tried to be sensitive I have typically been the one to work long hours; it's just his time now, so even though I was working 70 hour weeks and him 15 hour weeks, if I wanted a meal that didn't consist of frozen pizza, or frozen burgers, or frozen hot dogs, I had to make it -- even though he was the one who attended culinary school in Europe. I also had to do the laundry (at least mine), vacuum, sweep, mop, clean the bathrooms, go to the drycleaners, do the grocery shopping, do the other department store and household shopping, make sure all the bills were paid, see to car maintenance, home maintenance, and a partridge in a pear tree. When I finally asked him to contribute more to our household/errand/administrative needs for our life and relationship, his answer was: "I'm not the f*cking butler." So you pulling the "he's paying for stuff" is not only the fact that it shouldn't matter, as I still deserve common courtesy and respect, but I am the one who footed the bill for all "our" expenses, including his student loan for 7 years before agreeing to give up my career and go with him to Sweden -- oh, and by the way, "I (he) didn't tell you (me), but you (I) also have to be at the beck and call of my (his) aging parents: one with cancer, and the other with early onset Alzheimer's. And yeah, you didn't know these particular details, but telling me I should be supportive and grateful because "he's the man earning the bacon" was never cool, and quite misogynistic (women can be misogynists, too).

 

Here is a prime example of the kind of deceptive liar I'm dealing with: He was driving MY car (I paid for him to have his own car), and drove over some brightly painted, decorative rocks on the edge of the community where we lived. Not only drove over them, drove over them in some way as to rip the running board off my Jeep, and "realign" the passenger side so that neither of the doors would open. He hid the running board in our Extra Storage locker, then him and his buddy used MY crowbar (he had no tools, he bought no tools, he still owns no tools) to pull the hinges on both doors forward enough to open the doors (the windows won't go up and down), in an attempt to hide him wrecking my car from me -- NEVER told me. So when I realized the running board was missing, I finally got the story about the painted rocks. In Spring, when I tried to use the windows, I got the story about the decorative rocks. When I fully inspected the damage (to the tune of $5.3K), I didn't even get a sorry.

 

Further, he insisted that we had to travel from San Francisco to Washington DC for me to go to the Swedish Embassy and obtain my new Permanent Resident ID. He said the ID was for forever, and the sooner we got it, the better off we would be if we ever needed to move to Sweden, or for my to apply for a job in the EU, and that there was a "timer" on getting this said ID. Oh...and as a sidenote he needed to renew his Passport. The trusting fool I am believed him without any research, and spent $2500 for a trip to DC to accomplish these tasks. While in the Embassy to get these things done, I was told that Sweden actually issued the ID, and that it would be finalized and sent to our permanent residence in Sweden. What??!! Then how can I use it to get into Sweden AND get a job in the EU, etc. So hubby then handed over his passport for renewal, and the Embassy worker responded: "Oh, this is expired, so we will have to send your information to Sweden to see if they will approve issuing you a new Passport". WHAT?? Come to find that his passport had already expired months ago and that he didn't want to stand in line at the Swedish Consulate in San Francisco, because their wait time was 2 months. Well how TF long do you think it will take for Sweden to approve it and send it back??!! And even further, we received a letter confirming my ID had been sent to our permanent Swedish address by the Swedish Migration Board, it also said that my ID would be valid for 4 years from the date stamped on it by Sweden immigration. Sooooooo......NOT a forever ID, the bas*ard just didn't want to stand in line for his passport (as noted), and since he had no money or skin in the game, he lied to me enough to convince me the $2500 trip was necessary.

 

 

So you say that you are not mothering him. Please read everything in bold, plus the cooking and whatnot you are doing now and tell me again you are not mothering a grown azz man.....

 

This isn't a marriage you sound like a tired single mother with a teenage son she is putting through college, paying all his bills, cleaning his house, darning his socks and then he wrecked the car and can't even tell her what happened not to mention he weaseled a spring break trip out of her.

 

What possessed you to do all this stuff and marry him is the question you need to answer honestly to yourself. It's not like this is all a sudden surprise. Also, what exactly do you expect from him now? How do you figure this is ever going to work out for you? What do you want your marriage to actually look like and is that even possible?

[farfrompukin]

Dancing Fool -- my whole point was that it hasn't been a very good partnership. I married him because he previously behaved like an adult azz man. Had his own flat without roommates, held down a good job that paid fairly well (traveled to Australia to visit his sister) -- one time I called him and he had to call me back because he was in the middle of cleaning his oven. On that cleaning spree he even went as far as to pull the range out and clean behind it. Had a washer in his flat and did his own laundry. Responsible stuff. After we got married and moved in together, he seems to have a sudden and irreversible lapse in memory of how to maintain a home. Or run errands. Or cook. First year in a relationship is tough (this isn't my first one) and a lot of adjustment since he was new to the USA, so I didn't make a big deal about it initially. About 6 months in, I said, hey can you help us out and pick up some household and errand stuff since you're the one with the most free time? His answer was that he did not know what to do and was afraid he'd do it wrong. Me: Uh, bad answer. You do the same things here to maintain the household that you did at your flat and the washing machine works the same way (I introduced him to the dryer). In two weeks, 2 of my linen blouses and a pair of lined dress pants died horrible deaths. So, teach him about delicates and that any clothing in, or on top of the dry cleaning bag should not be washed. On the next episode he washed my short sleeve cardigan sweater with his jeans -- sweater came out looking like it had been in a bad farming accident. So here's me, narrowing my eyes Frye style thinking: Is he doing this on purpose to get out of doing laundry, or is he just that inept? So I had to pick up doing it, because I couldn't afford to lose more clothes. So then the question was do we each do our own laundry? Seems wasteful -- double the water and electrical usage -- not to mention the extra costs, so I ultimately picked up doing all the laundry again.

 

Food. In the midst of a tornado, a Swede would use almost every pot and pan in the house to prep a meal (protein/starch/sauce), or alternately, reheat such a meal previously stored in a rubbermaid container, then sit down to a full place setting with the foods (even leftovers) on the dishware just so, and enjoy their meal. My Swede will use every pan in the house to make an open face sandwich, then put it on a good plate and sit down and eat it with a knife and fork. Me: Look, Swedes have this great dinner tradition and I'd like to respect that and keep it going. Just because we're in the US, doesn't mean we can't sit down and have a nice dinner together, and of course keep other Swedish traditions going here. I know you ultimately decided not to be a chef as a career, but could you not put together a few nice dinners during the week so we can sit down together and enjoy the company? The other nights we can have maka (open face sandwich), order a pizza, leftovers, whatever...maybe even sit on the sofa with the pizza and catch up on Grey's Anatomy (his favorite show - the pizza in front of the tv, of course, being a time honored American tradition). I also think it would be good for us as a couple. Him: I guess I could. I don't know what to make. Me: Well, there are several recipe books in the kitchen, if you don't like any of those, maybe a favorite recipe you know or can look up from before, since they're probably online. He made fried ring bologna and macaroni boiled in skim milk w/sugar and nutmeg. Me: I told you when you introduced me to this dish that I couldn't eat it. I know what's in bologna, and knowing that, I cannot in good conscience consume it. It even says on the front of the package in Sweden that is it 46% fat. I can't just stuff food in my body when I know half of it is pure fat. And besides, it's not like it's a delicious food. Him: I told you I didn't know what to make. Me: How about anything else that isn't half pure fat?

Next episode was ground beef with onion and garlic, tomato sauce, potatoes (all casserole style), spiced with cinnamon and cardamom. Me, in my head: He is totally doing this on purpose. So out the window went the nice sit own Swedish style meal plan. The nature of my former job kinda had me cornered to sandwiches or salads, so i wanted a real meal every so often, so I'd cook or put something in the crock pot, and that when he started naming favorites. Even at the times I'd cook a full meal or do a crock pot meal, he would still use more dishes/utensils/flatware than me on those days. We ultimately agreed that he would do all the dishes no matter who used them since the ratio was for every 1 I used, he would use 3-4 -- on any given day.

 

Then he wanted to become a massage therapist, so one day he went and signed up for school, signed loan papers and off he went. Then 15 hours of work weekly at a spa, then he wanted his own private practice. I paid for all the equipment and office space for his private practice, did all the legal paperwork for it, was paying his student loans, and he had zero (0) clients, so he sat in front of an Excel spreadsheet every day imagining what his costs and income would be if he had x, y, z number of clients. Me: If you made some fliers and DIY business cards and got out there and marketed yourself, maybe you'll get some real clients instead of planning around imaginary ones. Him: Oh Yeah. 300 texts from him while I'm at work later......Me: Ok, I can't do my real work and do your business work at the same time. I need to do the paid work while I'm here and I'm happy to help you when I'm at home.

 

2 days later, I text him from the Emergency Room. He does not answer. I call his phone, no answer. I had to call the neighbor to physically go to our home and tell him to pick up his phone. He calls me back, still from home. Me: I'm in the ER. It's my heart. Why weren't you answering your phone and texts? Him: Oh, I was busy working on my spreadsheet so I thought I'd just chat with you when you got home. Me: How very passive aggressive. How often do I text you from work? Him: Not very often. Me: Usually with important stuff, right? Him: Yeah, I guess. Me: So why didn't you pick up since you already knew it would be of some importance. Him: I told you I was busy and I'm not gonna take any sh*t from you over this.

 

What kind of person says that to the person they claim to love most in the world...during a medical emergency to boot?

 

Maybe you're right and he has seized an opportunity for all the power and none of the responsibility. He is acting like a nasty, manipulative teenager, but unlike a mother, I am powerless to use recrimination to encourage appropriate behavior. I can't send him to his room, ground him for a week, take away his phone or his game console, tv, nights out with friends, etc., until he displays the appropriate adult behaviors. My only option is to remove myself from the bad situation, which somehow also seems kinda like "well, I'm gonna take my ball and leave then". I dunno. He had never had a serious relationship before us, so I think I just keep hoping that a few "aha" moments come about for him on behaviors for a healthy, adult relationship, which will naturally evolve to improve our relationship. Now, though, I think I have realized through the catharsis of actually typing out the highlights, that he has no interest or incentive to modify his behavior in a positive way for us. I could pick up a job in my field if I came back to the States in a heartbeat. Maybe I should do that, leaving him to his own devices and see how well he gets on with them without me here as the metaphorical punching bag.

 

Wiseman2: I find it interesting how some people just take away one item from a cornucopia and beat it and squeeze it until it is beyond dead. Let me break this down in short sentences, with small words, once and for all style: I'm not a housewife. I've never been a housewife. I am currently unemployed. I am actively seeking employment. I do speak Swedish, and 4 other languages. My husband has degenerative disc disease. He tweaked his back last week. He refused to get medical help. His stated that his back gave him the worst pain if he stood for more than a few minutes. I know that making a sandwich, let alone preparing a meal, takes more than a few minutes. I had some time on my hands. I know that doing for the people you love is a nice gesture, and an action showing love instead of or in support of words. I prepared a few of my husband's self-stated, favorite foods so he wouldn't have to put additional strain on his injured back. I told my husband I was making these dishes for him, for the stated reason. He said, "Thanks". When my husband was hungry, however, he did not partake of the dishes I made for him. He instead took the time, standing, to prepare different meals -- even though he had also stated standing was the largest pain trigger for his back. It was/is not about food. It was/is about the caring gesture I made, in the spirit of being a good and loving partner, that he pi*sed all over. I do not know if you are channeling some Southern Grandma or other 'wives' tale' going on about food solving problems, creating happiness, and whatnot, but you shouldn't project your own beliefs onto others.

[Wiseman2]

Perhaps work on your resentful condescension toward him and in general? Hope you find a solution in the meantime.

Let me break this down in short sentences, with small words, once and for all style

[catfeeder]

I think you need to decide what your objective is here. It doesn't even sound like you want to stay married (calling dude a sociopath and compulsive liar). If so, then take steps to divorce. If you want to stay married, decide to get help together (such as counselling with a third party).

 

The communication is so far gone I don't think you two can salvage this on your own.

 

I agree with MD. Decide your objective. If it's to stick around and complain about husband, then here you are.

 

You won't change husband, and you know this. He resents you and views you as an adversary. So decide how YOU want to live, and see an attorney for the best practical legal advice on how to get there.

 

You can waste as much of your time as you wish trying to manipulate this man, but he's not interested, and you'll never get any of that time back again for do-overs. I'd take husband's disdain at face value along with your prior attempts at counseling, and I'd focus instead on what kind of life I envision for MY SELF. I'd skip the drama and the tears, and I'd go and live wherever I need to in order to attain that vision for myself. If it's back home with family and friends, so be it.

 

Husband is checked out and won't participate. Focus on YOU, and quit wasting your time on him.

 

Head high.

[ThatwasThen]

I'm sorry that you've put up with this for so long.

 

You don't have a job nor do you have a husband worth having. I'd move back home and leave this immature, resentful and petulant twit to his bologna. At the very least, I'd fashion a plan to leave with all the assets since it seems you've floated him for far too long. As you formulate your plan, seriously consider seeing someone to help you out of your codependent and unhealthy habit of him. It sure doesn't sound like love of him.

 

See your lawyer and then see your banker and then see your computer for a link to book a one way ticket out of Resentmentville. You can do much better but not until you believe that you deserve much better.

[farfrompukin]

Perhaps work on your resentful condescension toward him and in general? Hope you find a solution in the meantime.

 

Wiseman2: The condescension in that post, which also named you (that I see you edited out of the quoted text), was solely for you, because you were acting like a presumptuous, pretentious, svamp fitta. At least it seems you are consistent about it.