Bumped into ex

[Astrogirllibra]

A few days ago I was heading to work and I saw my ex. I pretended like I was preoccupied and didn't see him. We broke up about 7 months ago and weren't even together for very long but I guess seeing him triggered something and I'm having a pretty hard time. I hadn't cried since we broke up so it's strange to me that I've broken down in tears every day since I saw him. Granted I have a lot of other outside stress but any advice or insight would be very appreciated. I'm not in contact with him in any form and I really hate that I'm still feeling like this after so much time. I thought it'd be good for me to focus on myself instead of jumping into another relationship but now I just really want to move on. This sucks I thought I was okay.

[JustinPonders]

Well, really don't know much about your backstory but from what I gathered I think you're either still emotionally attached to him or you're very lonely and you seeing him triggered happy memories of you being with someone that made you feel safe. So you need to determine if it's the loneliness or actually missing him that's making you cry. But if it's him then you should reach out to him and just take it slow. Don't rush it. Once things start getting serious then you guys need to have a serious talk about what you want and don't want to have from the other person in order to make the relationship work. You can do this. Make it happen. If you love him then go for it. Don't go through life regretting. Life is too short. You need to be happy. But if you think he was more bad than good then it's the fact that you're just lonely and that you really don't love him but are in love with the fact that you weren't alone at one point with him. So figure that out young lady. You can do it!

[nuttybuddy]

he's an ex. it's been 7 mos. don't reach out to him. that's just rewinding yourself back to where you've moved on from.

 

a friend of mine also felt like you even after a year because she would see him from time to time. but i think it was a good litmus test to see how far she had moved on. as more time passes, the hurt gets less.

 

it's ok to remember fond memories. someday you'll be able to remember them without crying and just a calm smile. you will also likely meet someone else. life is not the end all after this guy. there's plenty of fish in the sea.

[kathy679]

It is normal to still feel sad after 7 months. Especially because you didn't cry you have held it all in and seeing him has triggered it.

It's always emotional seeing an ex for the first time. Maybe it was good you bumped into him, as you are now getting those feelings out and crying....which will help you get over him believe it or not.

Don't what ever you do reach out though, just carry on and accept that there's nothing wrong in feeling sad after 7 months. God it takes years some times to come to terms with things. There is no real time scale

[Wiseman2]

It you were seeing someone, seeing him would be irrelevant. It's been too long not to start dating. Get on some dating apps and start at least looking around. Leaving this void sets you up for all sorts of issues. You don't have to marry the next guy you have coffee with but you can't hide from the world and expect to get better.

AWe broke up about 7 months ago and weren't even together for very long but I guess seeing him triggered something

[Astrogirllibra]

It you were seeing someone, seeing him would be irrelevant. It's been too long not to start dating. Get on some dating apps and start at least looking around. Leaving this void sets you up for all sorts of issues. You don't have to marry the next guy you have coffee with but you can't hide from the world and expect to get better.

 

I've went on dates in these past 7 months but been uninterested. I generally go a long time single regardless because I am very selective. "If you were seeing someone seeing him would be irrelevant" that's not necessarily true unless I was healed from it, which I'm not so even if I was seeing someone else it would still be relevant for me. I'm not hiding from the world, I am focusing on MYSELF. I don't think dating apps are the best places to find someone compatible for me. Keep in mind that everyone is different. I want to move on but we all know that frantically looking for a replacement isn't the answer to my problem.

[Astrogirllibra]

I think you're right about seeing him triggering a time where I felt happy and safe. For a little background, this isn't the first time I've bumped into him. I've suspected him of showing up to places he knew I'd be purposely because there was a point he was being petty and lashing out at me (I initiated the break up). I'm too discouraged to reach out because I did a lot of the reconciliation towards the end and fought really hard to try to keep him in my life but it wasn't enough. I don't think his feelings are mutual and I don't want to take steps backwards. Everything in me wants to reconcile but I don't want to risk the pain that would come with rejection.