confused198828 Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 My boyfriend and I have been together 4 months so its fairly new. We got along the first almost 3 months but things really went downhill when he came home from "fishing" one day. He went to a lake about a half hour away. It was weird. He came home mad. All because his ex had used points he earned from speedway gas station(when they add up, you can get free food or drinks). I told him its not a big deal. That they're just points. He said but they're points that he earned. He said he was going to get me a drink but his ex used up all his 7,000 something points. I never understood why he got mad over something like that. And he also had no sign that he fished. You know how there's a fish smell after you've fished all afternoon? He smelled like nothing. Had same clothes on he left in. I asked how it went after the argument about his points. He said he caught a little one. That's all that was said. We got into another argument almost over nothing and he took his stuff and moved out. I only saw him twice the week he moved. He hardly talked to me that week. And completely ignored me the entire weekend. He eventually told me he was at his brothers house(about an hour away) so he can't get his shaving cream he forgot atm. He ignored me the whole time til I mentioned him forgetting something. I tried texting him more, but nothing. Monday evening rolls around and he finally texts me. Told me he was sorry he took things out on me the night he moved out and that he's frustrated with himself(personal issues he's having) and that he just needed to be alone. He says he still wants to be with me but I don't know what's happening. Strangely, we had no contact yesterday at all. He randomly sent me an image last night of him shaving off his beard and mustache(sometimes it would get in the way and annoy him). And I told him it looked good. He thanked me and that was that. I didnt hear a thing from him today. Nothing at all. Except he liked my profile pic on Facebook and I think its odd he has our picture as his profile pic and still status is set to "in a relationship." And it throws me off because I haven't seen him since last Friday. He tells me I'm pushing him away, but then he changes it to.."I'm frustrated with myself." Then one day last week he told me he's a bad boyfriend because he doesn't give me the attention I deserve and that I deserve better. Yet he claims he wants to be with me. He's flip flopping and its frustrating. Someone please help? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 I suggest you reread your old thread. You were having a problem with this guy 1.5 months in. Do you really think this is great for your child? Shouldn't you find someone a little more stable. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Well, the honeymoon is over and he no longer feels the need to pretend to be Mr. Wonderful. And you are finding out all the cracks in the relationship. Personally I'd be gone, four months in this is too much drama and if you already have to worry that he's cheating there is something seriously wrong and it doesn't matter who or what, it's just all wrong. Also yeah, this type of person is just not good to have around your child. Four months in he shouldn't even be at your house yet, let alone playing house. I hope he is done with you, because this is only going to get worse if it's already this bad at four months. Sorry to not be more positive, but it's ridiculous that you're putting up with him acting like a bigger child than your child. And neither of you deserve this. I won't even get into lecturing about the risk you expose your kid to by bringing men around you haven't known for at least six months and had them prove they're stable and trustworthy. But yeah, as a single mom when I was dating I wouldn't let any guy into my house let alone near my kids for six months. You maybe need to take a step back and ask yourself why you're rushing things and just already trying to relegate this guy to full-scale relationship level when he hasn't even proven to you he can be trusted with either you or your child. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Well, the honeymoon is over and he no longer feels the need to pretend to be Mr. Wonderful. And you are finding out all the cracks in the relationship. Personally I'd be gone, four months in this is too much drama and if you already have to worry that he's cheating there is something seriously wrong and it doesn't matter who or what, it's just all wrong. Also yeah, this type of person is just not good to have around your child. Four months in he shouldn't even be at your house yet, let alone playing house. I hope he is done with you, because this is only going to get worse if it's already this bad at four months. Sorry to not be more positive, but it's ridiculous that you're putting up with him acting like a bigger child than your child. And neither of you deserve this. I won't even get into lecturing about the risk you expose your kid to by bringing men around you haven't known for at least six months and had them prove they're stable and trustworthy. But yeah, as a single mom when I was dating I wouldn't let any guy into my house let alone near my kids for six months. You maybe need to take a step back and ask yourself why you're rushing things and just already trying to relegate this guy to full-scale relationship level when he hasn't even proven to you he can be trusted with either you or your child. I second this entire post. Nothing more to be said. Link to comment
nuttybuddy Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 he sounds confused. and therefore, he's confusing you. idk how he thinks he's in a relationship with you when you don't see or talk to him for days at a time. that's just odd to me. i think a healthy relationship keeps the communication line open and know what's going on in each other's lives. you find him to be a mystery. he tells you that you deserve better. LISTEN to that. he KNOWS he's not treating you right. move on. no need to hang on to someone who's not interested in creating a loving, caring, open communication relationship. Link to comment
ColdHardTruth Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 By the sound of your post, your boyfriend is exhibiting behaviors that are in your eyes, out of his norm. I can't tell for sure if he is cheating, but it sounds suspicious from what you describe. I can understand why you are worried. We cannot say for sure he is cheating until you have solid proof, however his behavior does suggest he is hiding something from you. You claim the following: - You pin point the day when his behavior changed after "fishing" and there were no signs that he went fishing - He had contact with his EX the same day. - He started being short tempered with you (cheaters see their partners as obstacles and try to push them away) - He moved out... - He disappeared off the radar and stopped answering your text for nearly a week - He is hardly talking to you and not interested in you lately - He shaved his mustache and beard off for a new look, for who? for himself? for his brothers? certainly not for you - He is "frustrated with himself" and he thinks he is a bad boyfriend ... Honestly, the above would be enough for me to consider breaking up... a lot of red flags, I would just assume my partner is either cheating or she just does not give a crap about me. Who moves out over a small argument and disappears off the radar... not even the decency to answer your calls or text. I think you know the answer but you can't bring yourself to admit it without further confirmation. But in all honesty, his display of neglect shows that he does not respect you and you better run. It has only been 4 months... there isn't much invested. just NEXT him. BUT if you can't bring yourself to do that, you have the following 3 choices... 1. Take him for his word and go insane because deep down inside you know that something is wrong. 2. Accuse him of cheating and he will just turn it around on you because you have no proof... and if he actually isn't cheating then you will be on the wrong for not trusting him enough 3. Stay quiet and try to gather more evidence that he is cheating. To me, breaking up is the easy choice BUT 3 is the second best choice because it is gets to the truth which will let you move on. Fact #1 about cheaters.... Cheaters will lie to the grave unless you have solid proof or just enough proof to prove to yourself that he is cheating and that it's time to dump him. It makes it extremely difficult, in fact impossible, to make a cheater admit that he/she is cheating without solid evidence. The good news is Fact # 2 get sloppy ... If you can somehow catch him lying or gather enough evidence that he has been hiding his whereabouts... Check his phone or emails if you can... look in the trash folder... Once you have the facts you will be able to move on. Honestly it sounds like you're still young and very trusting. These huge red flags.... Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 He is way too involved and angry at this ex and you are in the their crossfire, not in a relationship. Get out now while it's only a few mos. It's not about award points, you know that right? Notice how he's blaming his ex for not getting you something? Run You need to dump him asap rather than deal with hot/cold while he's on/off with the ex.He came home mad. He said he was going to get me a drink but his ex used up all his 7,000 something points.? Link to comment
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