I lied about my age and fell in love. Now she's gone can I get her back?

[Lukejordanchas]

I met a beautiful girl in Toronto Canada and we hit it off right away, we went out a few times and I thought she was 24ish. The chemistry between us was like nothing Ive ever felt before. Then over messenger she told me she was 19. I am 39 and panicked and didn't want to never see her again so I said I was 29 not 39. She is unlike any girl I've met before in so many ways. So happy, fun and caring. She was a nerd in school and went to her grandparents on weekends instead of out partying and she is extremely beautiful. She goes to church once in a while with her parents and tells them everything. I'm a good looking fit healthy successful guy who was also supper happy. I have no problem getting girls at all but I really am in love with her and don't want any others. This is the girl I've dreamed of and wished so bad that I was younger and her older. We dated for over a month and always had an amazing time together. I may have also been her first boyfriend and lover. We both saw a future together! So as things got more serious and she wanted a deeper commitment and me to meet her parents we had a heart to heart and I told her the truth that I was actually 39. She said she didn't care but her parents would. That night we hung out and everything was great but then the next day I suppose after talking to her family she said they would not except me. We ended everything good but sad and I told her I understand. She only has Facebook to communicate with and after three weeks of no contact I notice I'm Unfriended so the next day I sent a message saying I noticed you Unfriended me and I was just giving you space and respecting you and It hasn't been easy and I miss you and I hope we can talk how are you? Then with no reply a week later I'm blocked. Three weeks after that a friend of mine she met wrote her saying I'm a good guy you can trust and age is just a number and I wanted to meet her family and can you talk to him. He then too got blocked. It's been 4 months now since we stopped seeing eachother and talked and I've been heart broken since. I'm left wondering if it was her who blocked me or the parents? If she feels the same way I do? I feel just getting blocked with no reply left me with no closure and I'm wondering if I should try and meet the parents or try to talk to her or write her or them? Do I wait a year or two for her to get older? Do I go to church and meet her parents that way? I believe and she did too if I met her parents and family they would have accepted me. I know it's bad but I feel I should have kept my mouth shut and I'd be with her and her family now having an amazing summer and we'd both be in love! Eventually would've told the truth with a wedding ring. Is there any good advice? Ive read many stories of successful age gap relationships and I know moving on is good but love like this may only come once in a life time

[Capricorn3]

I can't help but get the impression that she changed her mind and decided this really wasn't going to work for her and saying her "parents wouldn't approve" was just a way to let you down easy (imo). I highly doubt she'll come back and if I were you, I would take the hint (her blocking you) and move on. Learn to accept that it's over. Try finding someone in your own age group.

[Wiseman2]

Even though it all seemed amazing the confession didn't go over well and she probably told her folks. I would stay away from this completely including not sending friends to pitch for you. It sounds like she is blocking you on her own accord and on the advice of her parents.

Then with no reply a week later I'm blocked. Three weeks after that a friend of mine she met wrote her saying I'm a good guy you can trust and age is just a number and I wanted to meet her family and can you talk to him. He then too got blocked.

[Clinton]

It's over and done. Permanently. 39 and 19. That's kinda creepy.

 

There no coming back from this nor should there be.

[Lukejordanchas]

Thank you and you may be correct and I will find another girl when I know she doesn't feel the same for me. I wish she would just say so. So I'm wondering since we ended everything good and I didn't bug her after or come across as need why she would un friend me out of no where. We were so great together with everytime being amazing. I never Unfriend people I know on Fb and She's such a nice person that's why I'm confused. So by her I unfriending and blocking me with no message is it her trying to hurt me or did her family tell her too.

[Clinton]

Thank you and you may be correct and I will find another girl when I know she doesn't feel the same for me. I wish she would just say so. So I'm wondering since we ended everything good and I didn't bug her after or come across as need why she would un friend me out of no where. We were so great together with everytime being amazing. I never Unfriend people I know on Fb and She's such a nice person that's why I'm confused. So by her I unfriending and blocking me with no message is it her trying to hurt me or did her family tell her too.

 

You can't be this desperate. Don't be that stereotypical middle aged loser who robs the cradle.

 

Find someone who at least doesn't have a curfew from her parents still.

[Wiseman2]

If she wanted to contact you she would, regardless of her parents. So it may be best not to waste any more tome wishing and hoping and thinking the parents are keeping her from you. That way you can date again

I will find another girl when I know she doesn't feel the same for me

[Capricorn3]

So by her I unfriending and blocking me with no message is it her trying to hurt me or did her family tell her too.

Neither. She didn't take to you lying to her - she thought a ten year age gap was ok, but when it ended up being 20 years she headed for the hills (rightly so, imo). Who knows. Maybe she thought "if he lied about such a significant age gap, what else does he lie about?" All very reasonable.

 

I don't believe her parents have anything to do with this. She decided this for herself. Leave her be. She's moved on. You should too.

[Ms Darcy]

The break up WAS closure. 39 and 19. Yuck. Respect her wishes to not be with you anymore and move on to someone closer to your age. I cannot imagine dating a teenager.

[nihongo]

From what you wrote, it seemed like she didn't care about the lying and the age difference; her parents did and I think they told her how to act. But I still think you have to move on. She's only 19, so who knows how she'll feel or what she'll want in 1, 3 or 5 years. I feel your pain because my ex is 27, and we have a large age difference. But it never mattered. We got along extremely well, were very compatible, never fought or argued once and have a lot in common, but she ended it because it was a LDR and unfriended me on FB. That sucks so I know you feel. Good luck!

[HeartGoesOn]

Thank you and you may be correct and I will find another girl when I know she doesn't feel the same for me. I wish she would just say so. So I'm wondering since we ended everything good and I didn't bug her after or come across as need why she would un friend me out of no where. We were so great together with everytime being amazing. I never Unfriend people I know on Fb and She's such a nice person that's why I'm confused. So by her I unfriending and blocking me with no message is it her trying to hurt me or did her family tell her too.

 

The answer to that is irrelevant, however if you listen close enough, her silence tells the entire story. Although it's a tough lesson to learn...honesty is by far the best policy.

[Lukejordanchas]

Thank you! Best advice yet because you've been in my shoes. And I believe she would not have blocked me on her own but has gone with the advice of her family and I respect that, I respect her and I respect her family. If I had a daughter in this situation I'd do the same but think i would like to meet the guy who dated my daughter. The family should have given me a shot. Thank you for your time

[Lukejordanchas]

Thank you! Best advice yet because you've been in my shoes. And I believe she would not have blocked me on her own but has gone with the advice of her family and I respect that, I respect her and I respect her family. If I had a daughter in this situation I'd do the same but think i would like to meet the guy who dated my daughter. The family should have given me a shot. Thank you for your time

[Hollyj]

Thank you and you may be correct and I will find another girl when I know she doesn't feel the same for me. I wish she would just say so. So I'm wondering since we ended everything good and I didn't bug her after or come across as need why she would un friend me out of no where. We were so great together with everytime being amazing. I never Unfriend people I know on Fb and She's such a nice person that's why I'm confused. So by her I unfriending and blocking me with no message is it her trying to hurt me or did her family tell her too.

 

Good grief! Her actions are loud and clear, you are simply refusing to accept.

[Ms Darcy]

Thank you! Best advice yet because you've been in my shoes. And I believe she would not have blocked me on her own but has gone with the advice of her family and I respect that, I respect her and I respect her family. If I had a daughter in this situation I'd do the same but think i would like to meet the guy who dated my daughter. The family should have given me a shot. Thank you for your time

 

I think you would rather control her versus having her parents "control her." That may be why you "loved" her so deeply. Because you wanted to be the person who influences her. You forget that she can make her own decisions.

[Hollyj]

I think you would rather control her versus having her parents "control her." That may be why you "loved" her so deeply. Because you wanted to be the person who influences her. You forget that she can make her own decisions.

 

Exactly! That is why he continues to push contact. Complete disrespect! Does not listen!!! For most, the blocking would be enough.

[Lukejordanchas]

I do not push contact but simply asking for advice due to a broken heart and I have not been disrespectful. I wrote her once after I was Unfriended three weeks after we agreed and ended things. My friend wrote once explaining how he saw things as he saw how good we were together despite age and also my strength of Character. It's been over two months since he did that. Other than those two times there has been zero contact and we live close to each other. At this point I believe moving on is best and if she decided to come to me one day then we will see where we are both at

[Clinton]

Thank you! Best advice yet because you've been in my shoes. And I believe she would not have blocked me on her own but has gone with the advice of her family and I respect that, I respect her and I respect her family. If I had a daughter in this situation I'd do the same but think i would like to meet the guy who dated my daughter. The family should have given me a shot. Thank you for your time

 

As a father of a young daughter, the absolute last thing I'd want to do is meet someone like you. It's obvious you have no children otherwise you'd realize what a total creep you are being.

 

I can pretty much guarantee that if you met her father it would be extremely unpleasant.

[Lukejordanchas]

I totally can see that as well! You being a father can also realize that there are many guys her age or older that would lead her astray. I've seen many 19, 20 or whatever age girls get with the wrong guy and get into drugs and alcohol in debt, used and abused. This girl and I, worked out all the time then made shakes, smoothies, ate healthy, read together did active healthy things together and I was a perfect gentalman to her in every way. I would have gone to church with her if we made it that far. I was a positive influence in every way. So that being said I would choose me over someone that would lead my daughter a stray. And if I didn't confess my age I guarantee I would have been best friends with her dad.

[limichelle]

No offense but you could be her father due to the age gap. I agree with Clinton you don't want to meet her father.

 

I think you need to find somebody your own age.

 

Think about how much growing up she has to do.

 

Lisa

[shellyf62]

My ex had an affair with a girl that age, and he was 39 also.

They ended up together & married.

Apparently people thought they were father & daughter & when looking for wedding outfits everyone thought she was marrying our son, not my ex.

 

She ended up having an affair with a much younger man, telling my ex he was too old for her LOL

 

How about sticking with women your own age?

[Lukejordanchas]

My ex had an affair with a girl that age, and he was 39 also.

They ended up together & married.

Apparently people thought they were father & daughter & when looking for wedding outfits everyone thought she was marrying our son, not my ex.

 

She ended up having an affair with a much younger man, telling my ex he was too old for her LOL

 

How about sticking with women your own age?

 

I'm sorry to her that happened to you. Thank you for sharing and your advice. I do look like I'm 29 maybe even younger due to good genes and healthy life style choices and I would think her cheating g down the road would be possible if not for her high morals and beliefs for her religion

[Clinton]

You evidently, have never been mutually in love, because it's blind, powerful and if two adults, and yes we were both adults as stated by every country in the world, have feelings for eachother then there is nothing to be ashamed of and it is so far from being a predator that those aligations would have me filing a law suit on you for defamation of character! there are many couples with a large age gap that are happy and married and if you are so jealous that you will never have that then by all means name call till the cows come home

 

The gap in maturity between 19 and 39 is astronomical. You can try and justify it any way you want to, it's pathetic.

 

And nice try with the, you've never experienced true love bit. A clever try at distraction but it doesn't change what you are.

 

I'm out. Nothing more I can say.

[agent1607307371]

Op, she's half your age. You grossed her out and she noped out. That's it. I would put money on her not telling her family that the guy she was seeing turned out to be knocking 40.

[Ms Darcy]

I totally can see that as well! You being a father can also realize that there are many guys her age or older that would lead her astray. I've seen many 19, 20 or whatever age girls get with the wrong guy and get into drugs and alcohol in debt, used and abused. This girl and I, worked out all the time then made shakes, smoothies, ate healthy, read together did active healthy things together and I was a perfect gentalman to her in every way. I would have gone to church with her if we made it that far. I was a positive influence in every way. So that being said I would choose me over someone that would lead my daughter a stray. And if I didn't confess my age I guarantee I would have been best friends with her dad.

 

Have you had relationships with women your age in the past? I don't want to make assumptions but it seems like that hasn't gone well and you might ask yourself why.