Almost 3 months post BU

[DaniArizona]

So, I've finally gotten to the point where although I miss him and of course still love him, I know I would MOST DEFINITELY not take him back, if say, by chance, he came crawling (which I don't see in the near future but as seems pattern with all my ex's, it does happen long after I'm over it.)

I've gone on a total of 3 dates and each one I could not WAIT to go home and call it a night. I don't feel a connection to anyone and I think that is by far the hardest part.

I want to be able to connect with someone just as I connected with "J"... I know it takes time, but I'm going to be 30 next month! I mean really, how much time does it take?! (

[Scoe141]

haha... patience Dani! Patience! ;-)

 

I can understand that it can be frustrating. It's going to take a few Mr's Wrongs to find Mr. Wright. I know that may sound cliche, but I'm in the same boat as you are. I would love to find someone and settle down with, but it hasn't happened yet. So far the cards that I've been dealt with haven't afforded me that opportunity. Does it mean that it wont happen? I hope not, but while I'm in the proverbial waiting room I'm going to make best of my life. This includes doing activities that I enjoy, spending time with friends and family and making sure that I'm healthy.

 

Just do what you need to do for your own mental health and make sure you never settle. Also, try not to think about when your time is. If you do, you'll just drive yourself nuts. We can't predict when it will happen.

 

You're not alone and we're here for you!

[DaniArizona]

Thank you I don't have family out here and very few friends but every weekend I've gone hiking and every night I work out and I make sure to eat now! Lol

[Scoe141]

That's great to hear! I just went through a breakup and like you, miss the companionship and connection more than anything. (I certainly don't miss her!)

 

Staying busy helps. Just keep doing what you're doing! Explore, try new recipes, read a book, take up a new hobby etc.

[DaniArizona]

I started a new job 2 days ago that omg! Pays so much better so I can actually get my license back and a car soon! Hopefully very soon... My new hobbies will double than!

My best friend moved out here to be my guy on the couch after my break up and it helps a lot having him around. Before he came out I was at the lowest of my lows... I still get depressed when I think about "J" and the life we shared together, but the more days that pass, the more I realize our relationship wasn't that great.

[Gardeningfool]

Hi. I just turned 31 and had the same thing happen to me. Don't rush dating. I did and realized it only made me feel bad. So I stopped. I started to do things for me that I never thought I would do. I did alot of solo traveling and exploring and little by little I feel better. It is now going on 9 months post breakup and things look clearer to. Spend the time on you. 30 is young enjoy it. Don't look for a romantic connection. Instead look for good people to have in life with out the pressure of romance and you never know what will happen from there. It gets easier. Good luck. Have fun!

[DaniArizona]

I'd like to get out and make new friends but every guy who has invited me to "Hang out" has considered it a "date".

[Scoe141]

I'd like to get out and make new friends but every guy who has invited me to "Hang out" has considered it a "date".

 

Yea, sometimes you need to set boundaries up front. Then again, even if you tell someone that you're not interested, they might think you're playing hard to get. Body language coupled with strong words would hopefully deter that.