brian1024 Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 Well me and my girlfriend have been going out since my freshman year of college and her junior year of highschool she had just completed her freshman year of college, and I just completed my junior year of college. we are now 6 hours away from eachother in college (we were only three hours away before) Since shes been in college she has been more sensitive for what I do. For example, I have three freinds (who are girls) since freshman year. We had pictures togetherand it would be like a slap on the wrist from her. But 1. theyre my friends 2. my best friends date them.. So this year she found more pics of us and cried for days saying I dont love her...I party more this year than the past due to more free time and that gets her mad too cause she doesnt go out as much. So if I have to stay up late studying and say i cant talk long she gets mad. Little things she gets madder and madder. So in the begining of the summer I went on vacation with my frineds and she got so overly mad at me for so long and cried for so long. I even told her in advance i was going cause i havent seen a friend in a long time (she couldnt come cause she was on a family vacation). I even stayed in the room all night on the phone with her while my friends went out. So after that shed get madder. We also live by each other in the winter and summer vacations so we see each other then. 5 ish months in total a year. We try to see each other every 2-3 weeks in the school year. And we do...it seems when were together shes happy, but when were not shes more sensitve. Also in the summer we hang out every day so if im late she gets naggy (i dont when she does), or when i have prior plans and she wants to change them and I say no she gets mad. Currently were arguing about her asking to sleep over and go to an appointment at 700 and i said I have to workout before work at 645 so shed just have to wait in the house for 10 minutes or so. Now shes calling me selfish and not caring about our relationship as usual..I just need some advice on how to fix these little arguments before we go back to school cause theyre harder to fix when were seperated. I love her a lot but i feel like im walking on a minefield or have no time for myself in the summer. Which she replies that i have all school year to do what i want. I know shes very serious about us which is nice,but there is no need for name calling or getting mad over smaller things. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 How can you argue in a long distance relationship? All you have to do is turn off the phone. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 You can cut the work out short one day? It would solve a lot of headaches, no? Maybe be more flexible, pick your battles so to speak. were arguing about her asking to sleep over and go to an appointment at 700 and i said I have to workout before work at 645 so shed just have to wait in the house for 10 minutes or so. Link to comment
FlashEng1 Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 Lol to Ms Darcy!!! I agree with both her and Wiseman... A- HANG UP. B- Pick your battles. Truly pick your battles. If you love her, then make the sacrifice(s) necessary to adjust your calendar/schedule accordingly to appease her.. It seems like you may in fact be with someone who's "needy" or a situation that's much like a minefield, but if you truly believe that, and if the tone of your OP is what I am thinking, then you may need to ask yourself who you love more: You or Her... You may want to simply move on and focus on your own life and graduating. At the same time, if you want to really work things out, have you tried selecting an ideal atmosphere (a nice dinner?) to sit down and discuss with her exactly what you are discussing with us? If anything, ask her. Make it about her. Ask her why she feels you are being selfish and not fair to her and her feelings/emotions. Ask her what she believes you should be doing in each situation that you two have argued over.. And fully listen!!! Whether you think you already knew the answer or not! Hear it again like it's the first time! Once you've gotten her to open up (and TRY not giving your side or opinion until the end and you know she's finished talking), then let her know how you felt yourself when it came to each situation you two have faced so far. If the name calling and interruptions start, politely stop and ask her to respect you enough to LISTEN. Whether she agrees or not, to fully listen to you as you have listened to her.. When you are finished, once again ask if she at least understands your side and where you may have been coming from, at the same time apologizing and letting her know you too will work harder to respect her feelings towards future situations.. If it all becomes a distaster, or it feels like no progress is being made, then you may need to swallow that lump in your throat, and politely let her know that while you love and care about her very much, you do not feel things will work out between the two of you, and feel the two of you should go your separate ways. If she asks why or continues arguing, well you've explained yourself previously so there's no need to explain why you feel this way, or continue any conversation/argument. Simply smile, and walk out. Link to comment
brian1024 Posted July 14, 2016 Author Share Posted July 14, 2016 Lol to Ms Darcy!!! I agree with both her and Wiseman... A- HANG UP. B- Pick your battles. Truly pick your battles. If you love her, then make the sacrifice(s) necessary to adjust your calendar/schedule accordingly to appease her.. It seems like you may in fact be with someone who's "needy" or a situation that's much like a minefield, but if you truly believe that, and if the tone of your OP is what I am thinking, then you may need to ask yourself who you love more: You or Her... You may want to simply move on and focus on your own life and graduating. I agree with everyone's advice and see everyone's point. We spoil each other and I defntely spoiler her with nice presents and fun things to do every weekend. However I have a problem in all fields whether it being school or sports and my relationship saying my emotions. Like how they say lead with example, I have a problem with showing her how much she means to me but not just doing little things and telling her and proving to her. I guess I also needed someone to hit me up the head telling me I am pretty selfish, I guess that's just how I always been and never noticed until my relationship has been serious. I take my future very serious and sometimes only care about the future but never look at what I have currently Link to comment
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